You wonder if she knows
If she can tell how deep it goes
This sadness that you carry neath your skin.

You wonder if she sees
The way you fall down to your knees
And how hard it is to get back up again.

You fear she’ll walk away
Leaving nothing in her wake
But the broken, shattered pieces of your soul.

But if you’d look, you’d see
She’s aware of everything
And she’s holding tight, trying to keep you whole.

You came in black.
Drenched in black,
encompassing the night into your every move.
Sun or moon for each eye,
stars twinkling your feet
so that you can slip quietly in,
black holes removing all evidence of breaking in.

You crept slowly, surely
grabbing everything you found,
every little
secret, scar, soul shine
into that bag you clung to,
clutching it so that it hung from your back.

You passed my fire place.
Empty, with nothing left but coal and dust.
The fire once there?
Now long extinguished.
You shivered,
and continued looking.

You glanced at the kitchen counter.
Strewn across it were spices
and ripped up shreds of pictures
of all those loved.
Mixed into remnants of
entrees, appetizers, desserts,
too good to be true,
gobbled up too fast,
gone.
You shudder,
continue.

Finally, you find what you're looking for.
In the basement, kept in a safe right by where I slept,
you found it.
You reached towards me,
slowly, silkily took the key I had around my neck
as I sighed at your touch and unconsciously let you take it.

You twisted the key,
opened the safe
and grabbed the
ornately scarred,
worn down wooden
box that was held inside.

You opened the box.
Inside lay a red thing.
It resembled a minuscule
mauled, mangled, mutilated
crimson heart.
You sighed with relief and tossed the box and it's hideous contents into the bag.

You grabbed everything else you found and put it inside your bag.
Some were lead heavy, others too light...
Memories kept too long,
some fading,
some still fresh,
others just too strong of a memory.

You crept quietly away,
but not before you heard me whisper your name.
You looked away
like the coward you are
and left the house.

You know what's the best compliment?

                                                    ­               *You have a pretty soul.

You know what scares me most?
The way you can make me fall for you
all over again with that smile.
How you can make me
curse and cry
whenever you hug her, flirt with her when she's just gonna rip you to shreds.

I'm terrified
of losing control,
changing into something unrecognizable.

I'm scared of being alone.

I am frightened that
I'll be addicted to you,
but you're just gonna **** me slowly.
Of caring too much,
hurting myself...

I'm not afraid to be hated,
I'm used to it.
Too all the terrors the world brings,
I'm just not prepared for this thing
we call
love.
It disgusts me,
yet I wish I have it.
How?

I sit here alone...
in the corner...
crying...

In the next room over...
I hear them laughing...
hysterical laughs...
taunting me...
of what life has neglected to give to me...

I'm breathing heavily,
heaving,
unable to face what I have just done.

But what of the young girl
Confused and clear minded?
She'd all but given it her all
Gave the world all she had to give,
Conforming to society's
Ideals ,
Tried as she might,
But never enough.

Until she had enough.
She shattered the glass walls surrounding her,
Broke through amidst all the fumes
And the heartbreak,
Escaping into the sullen night.
Now she runs
Sprinting delicately through the dark,
Tendrils of light illuminating through her dashes
Never stopping for anyone or anything.
Nothing stops her,
Nor does she stop for anything.
She is all alone,
Taking comfort with the other shadows.
But that's all she needs
All she cares about.

Let nothing stop her
From loving
And daring to be
Herself.