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Alexis K Sep 25
My scars, battle wounds.
They're supposed to remind me the battles I've won.
So why does it feel like the battle only really just begun?
Alexis K Sep 22
I wish I was normal.
I wish what hurt,  hurt the entire time.

One day it's soul crushing,
I can't eat or breathe without thinking about it.
For the next three days it doesn't matter.
I can think on it all day.
I feel the same,
It isn't a big deal...
I overreacted again.

The fifth day it shackles me to bed.
I remember how profoundly hurt I am.

I wish I could feel normal.
Yet, during the day I feel dramatic,
And cry myself to sleep every night.
Alexis K Sep 19
Is to feel heard.

As I sit with only the gulf as my friend,
I know.
In the darkness of the night,
With its chills never-ending, I know.

I will never know how it feels
To be understood.

I have been listened to before,
Comforted and held.
But nobody understands.

I sit on the concrete ledge.
Sand and waves below me.

The waves know, what I feel.
The solitude in a sea of water.
Never alone, yet never supported.

The music in my ears,
The waves crashing below me,
And the chilling night sky,
They all know.

And yet.
I am the only of us four,
To feel, to bleed emotion.
I will never know
How it feels
To Be Understood.
Alexis K Sep 12
If I was an animal,
I would be a cat.

Not because they're agile and fast.
But because we hide our pain.
We prefer to crawl into a small spot,
And quietly hurt, than to cry out for help.
Alexis K Sep 1
Nothing about life is such.
Life is not modest,
When it throws you a curve ball.

Life is not shy,
For it will grip you by the throat.
It is not reserved,
As it fills Earth with disease.

Life is not demure by any means at all.
It is not unassuming,
Nor mild.
So grab it by the mother ******* *****.
Alexis K Aug 30
A poet once said:
grief is the overflowing of love.
I didn't believe her then.

But now as I pour my love,
In to your tea cup heart,
It overflows.

Pints... no,
Gallons.
Gallons of my love onto the floor.
It goes unnoticed,
Because your cup is full.

I wish I could give you all my love.
I wish you could accept it.
I wish it didn't hurt to watch it overflow.
I wish above all,
I knew how to stop pouring.
Alexis K Aug 30
Exhausted.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of being tired.
Tired of hating myself.
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