Brooding over brews
Breathing over false prophet lines
It turns out I'm falling apart again
'You seem to be so in control'

Through the haze
Hiding in pristine dreams
Painting over the cracks
Sullen porcelain princess
Sin fest cease your ingress
Said the girl in fake flower print dress
She knows what's good
Like smoking in the back woods

Lesbian shirtless circus living room roomie
Sees through facade as if to say
It's all a farce

Understanding somehow
Secret inner nightmare
Don't know how to stop hiding
Can't forget

I am broken bruised used up body
You are an empty ruse
Used to suss me out
Fork in road tongued snake
Eating up all the leftover soul goodness

You can squeeze the life out of me
Smiling up at you grateful
My fallen angel Prometheus

Asking silly questions
About places I no longer live
And people that
Maybe should have stayed friends
Who really burned bridge

Both of us
No innocence here
Who really threw first stone

More questions that don't matter
Naked answers drained of endorphins
Let me be the honey sweet mulled wine
Take me to dinner with your Prada
White girl no *** pearly teeth

Telling me really
'All men are pigs anyways my darling'
Making me her plump little Sunday swine
'Shall I feed at thy trough'
Earns me a red cheek'd slap

someone yells 'dilettante' accusingly
i wake up in cold sweat
screaming  'now see here im no phony!'
to imaginary rat creeping
now through my door

Remember
No one cares
No one owes you anything
Go to NA she says
Disappointed again

a voice that won't subside
in the air i can barely breathe
just a pre-disposed slab
in a vacuum

"Bring back my ******* life!"
i scream while sneaking drinks
between tasks and sleep

never know what its like to be
amidst smoke and woodsman's chores  
or else im bored into another man's dream

huffing compressed data
in a fugue state waiting for
tirades and the afterglow
please take a seat until then