I drink and smoke and pop
It's never enough
All bruised and used up
Who will see what's left of me
Too late now
Take another one

Eat old words
Full of next day shame hangover remorse
How stupid to think you could feel Anything for Me
What am I
But a source of attention
To boost your confidence

I drink this same day bourbon
To forget about you half so easily

Rainbow trout at fish farm
Father and son four years old
Caught fish flapping in mud and ****
Little boy feeding it pieces of corn
Not knowing fish is dead already
Post-mortem spasms of rigor
Now remember four year old thinking
This is life, sinking

all fell silent around me
tho could hear humansounds from highway now ethereal
as if noise had been turned down on world
no longer screeching threat

where is everyone what are they doing
suddenly irrelevant as now realized
piece of every soul i ever touched
i carry with me forever
i light at night to keep warm
big fireside grinning buddha meditation
never forgetting

until so swollen with joy of
our six degrees beautiful imperfect chaos crashing
can hardly breathe but to love everyone
all better now no longer cold and empty
can feel multitude of proud heartbeats
can hear a thousand new cough lungs
sweet histories and meanings

left with calm immobility no need to tell
they know too the cold night old soul warm heart connection
now sure of this
paralyzing somatic reconnection
creep thru solemn autumn garden
whoever's next in line
can have what's left
done fighting

i am in cocoon like edamame
says the disembodied
tibetan monk
cocoon is rapture
warm embrace of the ether

Sleepy September rain
pretending life isn't busy
Standing still on slippery edge
Taking in foggy city view
Of little senators and harpies
Playing house of cards
All so quiet up here
On newly constructed condo roof
Little ant people climbing up
Towards the light with fungal parasites
protruding from wet open wounds

Eat me before I eat you
Staring with **** eyes
I'll be yer mantis
(Who's the *****)
Swallow me whole
Devour me alive
Loving it more
Than all the whips of Caesar
Regurgitated hate like
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
Or pigs feeding on blood and bones
At the trough

Boring my way out thru
Yer ****** ulcer guts
You shouldn't drink like a fish
If you aren't at sea
Weakening your resolve
With surly drunk parasitic me
This is how we show
Our extensive toxic love sensibility