I told you to read Big Sur
maybe once gone someone will listen
will you hear the sound of the crashing waves
like I did
how Jack did
or just laugh at bloated blackened burned corpse
all maggots, flies and half truths
about the instability of our college foursome
wistful lost thoughts of shirtless circus
too old now to justify  

it is never enough or is that just me maybe missing the point
all joy seemingly escaped how i long for simpler times when
we knew each other and didnt have to yell to be heard
but every new wet hole holds the cure, for a minute
does it not
or so you say informing me now of the latest last *** ****
is that enough
does it make you whole
would it make me whole too or translucent like
metaphysical sieve
yet i am losing my great big dharma spectre
and did you ever really have one
or did you just study and play at great booming philosophies
pretending with big yelling words as if louder equals absolute reality
that is how they taught you is it not

whilst sleeping we coined you the new buddha
you tell me as if i am to jump joyfully at this
did you sufficiently whet your beak young buck
as tired heads are tilted back sardonically surveying your scene
are you trying to convince me or yourself honey?

beer on body lifting lies and lines from some obscure author
i'm sure he died broken and lonely with some lover's name on his lips
like Napoleon's oft quoted last line "Josephine"
tho verity questioned

speaking to you in riddles and faux aphorisms
o how grand it is, how lofty the heights we two can climb
this unsustainable facade, how larger than life the character
only later revealing lost young boy soul tired from many years

'how do you live like this'
'this isn't living'

run away from old city find new city only old city woes catch up
far more quickly than expected
as if 2000 kilometres would bring you two months peace
when actually brings two hours deadened morose resolve
followed then in rapid succession by impending old habits
and weakening resolve to see this through and find a new way
only to find old ripped up train tracks littered with animal viscera
wide seal eyed vulturelady picking carrion meat me clean