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5Am
My demons haven't been kind to me again.
They wake me up after 5am
And play me the fool.
I can see you kissing another man.
And my heart rips in two.
Because I wasn't good enough.

And I end up crying myself to tears.
For stupid reasons I can't control.
Only because I am vulnerable.
I just feel that I've pushed you away.
With my clingy ways and fears.
I just loved the days
We spent together.
Is that a crime?
I dont want it to go away.
Please dont go astray....

Am i being obsessed?
Or do I care so much
That im losing my ******* mind.
Are these feelings valid?
Or am I kidding myself.
And killing time with sorrow.
I guess some things never change.
Them before me. Her before me.
Whatever makes their day.
Im probably better off alone.
"Love yourself" they always say.
Love yourself, fight another day.

And I end up crying myself to tears.
For stupid reasons I can't control.
Only because I am vulnerable.
I just feel that I've pushed you away.
With my clingy ways and fears.
I just loved the days
We spent together.
Is that a crime?
I dont want it to go away.
Please dont go astray....

I love you.
Please...
Dont go astray....
-_-
Dear Love,
"You have been a part of my life for many, many
years?
A vacation perhaps you are on that avoids me
to feel your touch, or the sweet nothings that have
been silent in my ears?
Life is complete with you in it's company, but
filled with an emptiness once you walked out of
my party.
Many friends turn out to become acquaintance's
no love lost at all.
Then again there was one, and still
never to call.
Do i place you in the same category
as she?
Will you ever return to my party to spend
your remaining lifetime with me?"....
lately happiness seems to come and go
like a lover who bores easily
as i don't offer them enough to stay
while the depression always returns
like an abuser, it's fists made of ravage fire
masquerading loyalty and love i know is insincere
What I want, is worth writing
What I want, is an important thing
What I want, is heartfelt
What I want, has been well kept

What I want, is not to tell you something
What I want , is not important to hear
What I want, I can't show you
What I want, you can feel

What I want, has expired
What I want, you have retired
What I want, I ruined
What I want, I destroyed

What I want, isn't a want any more
What I want , is gone out the door
It's now what I had.

What I had, you read
What I had, you loved
What I had , you heard
What I had, you saw
What I had, you believed
What I had, you helped
What I had , is now all I want.
The week of labor comes to an end
Mind and body returning to:
A time-stretched lady friend

My voice meets your breathe on the line
I hear without asking:
Your needs in me, too worried to incline

Before I reach your door
Your smell is in me,
A rush of comfort, replaces me to a position before

I smile with greeting
Your embrace calms my heart:
From my impatient, uncontrolled beating

In your eyes I see our week
Talk rendered short,
Too much buzzing electricity to speak

Our bodies orbit brings us closer
Soft touches, smooth lips
I Move clothes aside for a kiss below your shoulder

The heat between us becomes as one
You exhale in my ear:
As if to say your water wheel is spun

My advances match your heart rate
Your hands run over
My tough, chiseled toned substrate

You take control of the bed
All senses:
Heightened, throbbing, aching, out of our head

I spoil you, tease you, and grab you
Taking you to another level,
I ask you to hold on, so you do

Your body is shaking, your muscles tighten
I grab your hips,
We sink deeper, your voice heightens

At last you let go, as do I
We spin, we crash,
We collide into a thousand little pieces from the sky

Your head lands on my chest
Our moment:
Has finally come to us, and now we can rest.
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