I wake up every other day wishing I could just **** the pain
Or just jump ship and never see another again
This ship is sinking
In this sea of thoughts and feelings
Then you notice your phone there's a message at the tone
Her voice rings through your soul
Your my symbol of hope
A SOS when i feel alone
Take a shower
Watch the water drain away
Wishing it could carry the pain away
I'll hold my breath, I'll tempt death
But in those moments
My body and mind are side by side
I can feel the water in my eyes
I guess this is how it is to be alive
Get up, get dressed and meet your girl
I'll find the strength even at my lowest depths just to see her smile
I'll never let her see that side
That's the only secret I'll ever hide
Reject that frown
I'll never let this ship go down
Even when I'm sinking she makes me float
She's the life raft and I'm the boat
And I don't understand why she's given me a chance just some lonely broken kid with a fake smile and nothing much to give chilling in a maiden shirt listening to offspring
I'm not her Normal type
From the lowest of all clicks
The bottom of the food chain
A goldfish in the ocean
Take a deep breath you're going under
The currents pulling your mind astray
Drowning in my bottled up ways
You'll talk on the phone
Just so she can moan about
All her worries and her fears and  the occasional tears
But you don't mind
You're her rock in her hard time
The thoughts in your head decline and you're no longer stranded out at tide  
That fake smile you provide is Keeping her alive
If only you knew you're the picture in her head
The strength that pulls her out of bed
And you don't understand why she's given you a chance.

My work doesn't reflect a picture of me
It's more like a family photo you don't want to see
Shown by a aunty in pretence to remember how it used to be
And you look at yourself and see the struggle to express
From the way that you dress
And that fake smile
You've held for which seems like a awfully long while
They can't contemplate how the image the camera makes fails to translate the frown that you've Hidden away

You call and I can't help but answer
I've got a address book of reasons why I should cut you off
What happened to when we used to talk about the flowers
And a growth more significant than our own
constantly asking if you're feeling better
You never take advice, first hand experience dripping from these words
Guess you'll after make your own mistakes
I'm a tangled headphone cord
Getting on your nerves
Constantly asking if you're feeling better
Now I'm by your side while you struggle to sleep and refuse to eat
I'm the seventeen messages on your answer phone
Reminding you to breath
You're more of a invert than I've ever been
It took my school years to realise I wasn't weak
You've got to let go
Realise you're the gray clouds I always preach about
And the flowers struggle to grow without a helping hand

I hate to see you down there at the bottom of the pool
I'll breath for you
I'll keep you on my shoulders if the pressure gets too much
We can go swimming
I'll take that risk for you
Add salt to the wound
Like stubbing your toe a thousand times
Your goggles are filling up
Your eyes are red
But for you it's a lovely shade
I always said you could pull off any colour
Take your mind off stuff
Focus on kicking your legs and staying afloat
We're at a gym or some kinda swimmingming pool
Guess I'm neither brains or brawn
Or whichever way it's said  
I'll take you swimming
We'll do whatever you want too
We could go dancing
I've got two left feet but you're always right
There's no other person's feet I'd rather set on in a slow dance
I'll take that risk for you
Break all my toes so you don't have too.

The stones in my shoes remind me of you
A reflection of my regrets and failures
We'd talk endlessly
About nothing really
Just the perfect fairy tale we built in our own heads
I fell for your spell your deceptive nature worked so well
Like a lamb to the slaughter
You lead my like the piper hypnotized by words and lies
You built me up to bring me down from the safety of your screen
You became my world my everything my refuge from reality
A faceless voice behind a screen
A touch without feeling
You fed my dreams and desires until I couldn't eat no more
I let down my defence's
You seiged my castle walls
While I was battling a dragon in my own halls
But how was I to know you where only there to let the dragon in
You're the witch not the heroine
You made me believe I was weak and needed saving
You're the nightmare in my fairy tale
You're the wolf in my bed but this time I'll take off your head

Looking through my window
Waiting for a change in weather
The chipped paint reminds me of worse days
And a disconnection from the things I used to know
Like a fly on the window
Curious
With freedom in plain sight
Shorts and long Sock season
The sun's rays beaming
Blasting Skrwd as our mutual summer time theme tune
Such irony
Because now the weather's changed I won't settle for room temperature again
I feel a growth in my bones
I'm not waiting
I'm not waiting anymore
I'm just taking
Taking whatevers thrown
The cold doesn't effect me like it used too
My teeth don't chatter from fear of being alone
If summers the place to be
Let's make it a permanent state of mind I'll try find warmth in the greyest of skies.

January again
And I'm already counting down the days til the next one
Already made enough mistakes in a matter of days
Febuary I'm so done with the rain and the  pattering on the window pain
It's march again
Another year older but I feel more or less the same and not much wiser
Continuing counting down the days
Maybe I'll learn a lesson or two along the way
And learn to line what I think and what I say
April,May
There's nothing much to say just a reminder of the wasted days and praying next year won't turn out the same
June, July
Summer time
I'll just watch and wait inside
November  in sight
Just more sitting and waiting inside
I missed my bus but you know how I get when I write loose all concept of time
December is here met by a cheer
This year it might turn out alright