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my days in a coma
I poisoned with cyanide
when you are  asleep
synchronized

look,our dreams
Repetition
E
  V
    E
      R
       Y
         D
          A
            Y

Is called

               LIFE
and
                      Being an adult....
Day by day
Love park in the bay
A cup of love
All I need
Truly
Goodnight
stars...
...
Demons of change taunted me
If I don’t do what I always did;
Fear of being strange haunted me.
What punishment for what I hid?
Maybe things will be a bit better
And settle down a bit after while
But life doesn’t seem to work well
Like when I could wink and smile.

My looks used to get me a ways,
Where mornings could turn into nights
I could have fun and party for days
And everything seemed fun and right.
I started out drinking and using
To overcome all my social fears.
It was just for weekends, partying,
But then it turned into many years.

I bought the drinks and the grass
And suddenly I was a welcome guy.
Later I too publicly fell on my ***
And nobody even asked me why.
But I caught myself holding ****
And *****, and keeping quiet
So nobody would come knocking
To party hearty and to try it.

And then one day, demons came
And heartlessly showed the truth;
They showed me myself by name,
I was no longer a pretty youth.
Only those as bad as I had become
Could stand to spend time with me.
I came to and realized I was numb
That my life had turned into tragedy.
father
why do you hurt me
you say you will be there
than you leave
in and out of jail
you come and go outta my life
you break me down
i cry and plead
daddy please don't go
stay for a little while
let me have hope
instead you pick up the pills
and pop them inside your mouth
you pass out
than wake up
and start all over again
this never ending cycle
i cant take much more
  Apr 2018 Angel-like rain castle
Fox
When I tell a joke
If I laugh
That’s all that matters

When I put makeup on
If I like it
That’s all that matters

When I sing
If I enjoy it
That’s all that matters

Let me be selfish in this way
I don’t do these things for attention
I do them for me

I know not everyone will believe me
But that’s okay
Because I believe me
And that’s all that matters
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