they have not words
to strike a competitive pose
against ours
but they do the best with what they have.

is when they mess with your head
light fires in your mouth
and make you hide in your bed

put stones in your heart
to drag you deep down under
they fight and they fight
their screams predictable as thunder

the rain is the part that gathers in mom's eyes
when she keeps you up late
to tell you lies
lying on the couch
her arm over her face
foundation in streaks
like old dry erase

it's when she lets you stay up late
to read to her specially
just to give her departure
more brevity

when she kisses you on the cheek
and holds you tight
then calls the cops on dad
that same night

when she only gives you presents
to make you feel bad
when she feels better
by making you sad

emotional abuse
is when she calls on a restricted number
tells you she loves you
but won't let you see your little brother
when she slaps you in the face
slams your arm in a door
well
maybe that's not
emotional abuse anymore...

when she tells you she loves you
but leaves anyway...
abuse is abuse,
it all feels the same.

Gathering the tools to set my fire alight,
Broken memories taking flight,

Touch my soul and set me free,
Other people who I want to be,

Project this image I see so clear,
A life not wasted on constant fear,

I will look you in the eye and play my song,
Teach me slowly about doing wrong,

Every opportunity analyzed to extremes,
Pushing past I was just being me,

Hit pause I'm stuck here again,
Ill be reliving these moments till the very end,

Supermarkets of life are we only here to love you,
Tempted to absorb a different twisted view,

Just one of those worlds I create in my head,
Where egos don't exist and where ruled by love instead,

Stick by my values not tempted to give pain,
Living through empathy won't all be in vain,

I will savor every drop till my lungs give way,
In my last breath remembering how I lived each day.


Lucious. T

For every shade
     of green you see
For every wave
       you catch in the sea

*I hope you remember me.

i never have liked uppercase i's
i know it's absolutely stupid
but they always make me feel more important than others
like i'm always saying I, I, I.

see even that was weird
way too many eyes
so i spend half my days, proofreading my lines
to make sure that i'm exactly the same size
as everyone else

when i first met you it absolutely blew me away
to find someone else who lowers their eyes
i'm serious, it's amazing to find someone who wastes as much time as yourself
hitting backspace, and
cursing auto-correct for not allowing this behavior

but after a while i noticed you stopped with the i's
maybe it was around the time **** got weird
maybe it was a fad; or i have some absurd superstition
but it's cool
You always were the bigger person, anyway.

even lying next to him, it was never about him… somehow it was always you. it's only you.