A year ago today... that's when you came.. back into my life and changed it for the better.. You taught me how to love and be loved... you showed me how just a gentle touch can be all someone needs...
you showed me that no matter how broken I feel you'll be there to pick me up and help me as I try to walk..through this molasses like water.. you helped me through some of my lowest points, and cheered me on through my highest, you're my best friend, my rock, my other half you completed me when I thought I was losing myself and you showed me the light, I know you'll always be there and I'm truly, madly deeply in love with you, to the moon and more.

I feel so alone, the hollow shell of an empty soul.
Wishing for someone to hold me as I'm falling, deeper and deeper.
You've been gone for so long,it feels like a knife's been wedged between us and I don't know how to fix it.
I know you don't notice the strain on my part trying to say something that isn't stupid or irrelevant to you, it's hard...
I feel like I'm swallowing glass, the shards tearing apart my throat..
Keeping me from saying what I'm thinking or feeling..
Please understand... I need a helping hand...

2018.... What a year...
           I lost a lot... I'm sorry..
I'm so sorry, I wasn't enough for you... I tried, I tried so hard but that
                                                   didn't get me anywhere...
You left... left me stranded... nowhere to go...
                         no one to turn to but the whistling of the wind....
no one to talk to but the demons in my head...
                                         I was so alone.... And scared... I miss you...
but I was never enough to keep you satisfied...
                                        not being enough seems to be all I'm good at....

what's the meaning
words mean nothing
promised me empty feelings

I learned to not speak
bite my tongue
the taste of blood is sweet

child
turn around
don't walk out
the world is full of liars
like your mother's mouth

your father is busy on a far away train
lost his brain
he won't remember you

issues
carry a pack of tissues
you're damaged
who will take the blame

bite down
harder
you won't forget
the sweet taste

they're not entirely here
disappeared
no one will care about you

love brings trouble
hate melts away
better to not feeling nothing at all

from a dry split pod,
a lot of winged seeds explode;
a future forest

Numb, numb to dumb.
Alls been said and done
And here we are
Standing in the rain
Sweet tears, wet pain
Fear not loved one
We'll ride this ocean
Of emotion and
Come out smiling
Fingers on the dials
Of happiness  
And warm under
The blankets of love

The hardest part
Will be the days that come after.
Prepare your heart.

talking to you
fits like a glove
but
you're not the one
I'm dreaming of