Ukulele boy,
Holding his favourite toy,
Playing a merry tune
That might as well make me
S
      w
           o
                o
                      n
He plucks at the strings;
In reply, it sings,
Its voice echoing
                                across
                  ­                             the
                                                         stadium—

Muffled by the roaring cheers around him.

people have their god
               and
people have their no god
               but
neither has solid proof
                nor
the definitive answer
               only
what they truly believe in
                and
they’re so sure of themselves
               that
they’ll defend and protect their beliefs
                  if
any differences are shouted at them
                 and
they’ll hold and cradle their beliefs
               tightly
like a security blanket
                 and
they’ll preach their beliefs
                  to
any pair of ears they come across
                  it’s
the never-ending game
           straddling
the on-going centuries
                  if
you have god, go with god
                and
                  if
you have nothing, go with nothing
                 just
leave me the hell out of it:
your beliefs
      my beliefs
          his beliefs
             her beliefs
               their beliefs
                 were never a certainty.

I've recently created something of a bond with someone that seems to be almost magical
And I think it's because we're both real
And because with eachother honesty seems like the only option

Instead of
"How are you?"
"Good. How are you?"
"Good."

It's
"How was your head today?"
"Still depressed. You?"
"Still depressed"

And there's something so special about that
It's as if I encountered another alien hopelessly walking around earth
With all the humans and wondering why they have green skin
And showing them that we can be different
Together

Words we don't hear from our parents
"You're doing so good"
"You got this"
"You're safe and cared about and loved"
"I'm so so proud of you"
We give eachother

Talking about the very fact that we exist
Politics (or that it *****)
Family
Depression
Unforgettable memories
Favorite stupid shows and movies
I swear it feels like a dream

Mentally ill
Real
Empathetic
Grew up too quickly
Love and feel so deeply
...
I think I don't feel so utterly alone anymore

Proof that people have so many layers, and that we are all so beautifully complex and interesting:

Whenever I yawn as I get up from bed
I do a high pitched sequel
Because my old dog used to do that when I was younger
And I wanted to be like her

When I want someone to get something for me I always say "I can't reachhhh"
And stretch m out my arm
Even if it's on the other side of the house
Because once when I did that I made someone laugh as they were crying

Whenever I ask someone if they're okay
And they say they are
I always ask
"Do you promise?"
Because someone did that for me once and it made me feel so loved

I have a folder on Pinterest saved as
"Everything is alright sweetheart"
Full of strangers talking to the camera
Comforting the theoretical strangers watching
Because the very fact that someone would do that
Is enough to comfort me sometimes

Whenever I need help to do the simplest electronic-related task
I always ask
"Can you do magic pwease?"
Because it always makes one of my friends smile
And I would do so much for that

When I was younger I used to light a candle in my room
Close my eyes
And pray to the stars
To make things better
Because I knew that no god I wanted could put me through this pain

I reread old text messages every night
Over and over
To prove to myself that it's all in my head
And no one hates me
Because once when my friend told me she felt that way
I gave her that advice randomly
And I realized it was actually helpful

I feel like I'm a waste of perfectly good air
Everyone hates me
And I think I hear death calling my name

The Road-
A poem: by Olivia Williams.
——-
i've run along this road all my life
I've been running away from it all night
I've been hanging on to these handrails that just keep breaking
People keep telling me that no matter what I'm lying
I've been running away from these shackles that hold me prisoner
These thoughts that want to break my mind
My body that feels like its crumbling as time goes on
“I need to hang on”
“I need to stay strong”
I think in my head as I run this road
“But I'm a failure”
“But I'll never be important enough”
They reply back
“You'll never be great”
You'll never be perfect”
They continue as they chuckle
I run as they chase me
All my thoughts mix together
Envy and Sadness
Hope and anger
Hopelessness
It's all there
It is all that held my world accountable
All the times I've been pushed to breaking point
All the times I've been hurt beyond words
All the times I've been left in the dirt
All the times I've been missing the signs
The signs I'm human
The signs I'm a good person
The signs I'm someone worth living for
Everyday i fight
Fight pain, physical and mental  
Fighting has held me strong
Everything inside me
Is fighting
I sing it
It's my song
This is my road
My life
My heart
And I've reached a point where I have to accept myself
No matter what
This roads mine
Through everything
My Suffering and my pain
My joy and my shame
it's on this road
That I've been running from
I've been running from my feelings
They have tried to hold me hostage
This devil of dark
This red-eyed monster
The past is behind me
I'm starting new
This year is my year
I'll make sure of it to
I need all the help i can get
To change my ways
To help me move away from the past
I need to move past it
I call all family and friends
All teachers and others
All my supporters
I need people to help me
I need people to join my road
So…
Will you join me?

-FIRE IN MY VEINS-
A SONG/ POEM: BY
OLIVIA WILLIAMS

INTRO
———-
I've been fighting for my life
Now I'm putting my foot down
If you cross me again
You’ll see inner strength now  
I’m done being bound
You said you trusted me
I trusted back  
A relationship. but,
Now you broke my life apart
Shattered it like glass  
So now I’m done with that
I've been torn apart
I've lost a couple hearts
My hope wrecked like a boat
On a rocky shore
Not afloat  
I screamed for help
But on one came
I was struggling then
With those to blame
I’m taking control
I’m not stepping down
You can stand back
Or you can JOIN ME NOW


CHORUS
——————
I was broken,
I was bleeding,
I was pleading,
I was screaming.
I wasn’t fighting,
Now I have fire in my veins.

Skin strong- like a tigers mane
Your bout to meet,
The real me, no glam.
I’m not a fan.
BAM.
I am in your face,
LIKE WAM.
You expected- grace?
HAH, NO..
I was silent,
Now I speak.
Seriously!? You think I’m weak!?
Try bleeding on the streets,
Face down.  concrete!
Oh! I don’t think you’ve looked at me!?
I’m rising from the deep.
So are you going to guess,
Who your about to meet?  
HAH- ITS ME

BRIDGE
————
From ashes, I rise
From fear, I thrive
You think I’ll decline?
Watch me put up a fight.
Strength in my breath,
Heart beating slow,
Anxiety fading,
Watch my power grow.
Ashes and chains—
You think I’m afraid?
Watch who you blame.
DON’T make this mistake.
I’ve got fire and flame,
Strength and pain.
I won’t take the blame—
You’ve done nothing but cause hurt and shame.
Now I’m dropping the weight of chains,
And I feel it—truly, in my veins.


VERSE 1
————
you call me insane
You think I’m untamed
I’m breaking through  
You think Im stupid
I’m foolish- a clown
In your carnival games  
Your actions are crazy
You act careless and lazy
Treating me like a baby

My life is turning around
Your actions and others
Have ripped me apart
Like paper and blades  
I’m going to put up a fight
If you think you can play me
With your stupid games
I’m not taking peoples stupidity
Not all these lies  
I’m standing up
If you test me
We’re DONE
I won’t swallow your remarks
I won't shy away- your pain
You don’t want to test me
Because I'm stronger than you believe  

I got fire coursing
Brain is flooding  
So DON'T make the same mistakes.
I’m not putting on the breaks  
Fire in my veins
Taking the reigns
Blood boiling like steam
Energy rising
Like light from a beam
Stress fading like the storm you caused  
im taking control
It’s not taking a toll  
You want me to hit pause?
No! LOOK AT ME NOW
Fire is my strength
And it’s stampeding through my veins

CHORUS
————-
I was broken,
I was bleeding,
I was pleading,
I was screaming.
I wasn’t fighting,
I got fire in my veins.

Skin strong- like a tigers mane
Your bout to meet,
The real me, no glam.
I’m not a fan.
BAM.
I am in your face,
LIKE WAM.
You expected- grace?
HAH, NO..
I was silent,
Now I speak.
Seriously!? You think I’m weak!?
Try bleeding on the streets,
Face down.  concrete!
Oh! I don’t think you’ve looked at me!?
I’m rising from the deep.
So are you going to guess,
Who your about to meet?  
HAH- ITS ME


BRIDGE
————
From dark- I've grown
I sit- on a Throne
No more chains
That kept me bound
Look! It’s the real me!
It’s she, who I've found!
I won’t take your blame
You think Its funny?
Like it’s your game?
Well, your out of luck,
Remember my name


VERSE 2
—————
I’m done hiding the pain,
No more tears in the rain.
Every scar has made me stronger,
No more running, no more hiding.
I will always keep fighting,
I faced the dark, I faced the storm,
Found the fire that keeps me warm.
I’ve fought battles deep inside,
Where broken memories and fears collide.
But now I’m rising, breaking chains,
From those who left me to take the blame
Leaving behind all the stains.
The past can’t hold me anymore,
I’m stronger than I was before.
You thought I’d break and fall,
But I’m standing tall through it all.
Stronger now, I claim my reign,
Fire blazing through every vein.
I’m the storm you can’t contain,
And I’m never backing down again
CHORUS
————-
I was broken,
I was bleeding,
I was pleading,
I was screaming.
I wasn’t fighting,
I got fire in my veins.

Skin strong- like a tigers mane
Your bout to meet,
The real me, no glam.
I’m not a fan.
BAM.
I am in your face,
LIKE WAM.
You expected- grace?
HAH, NO..
I was silent,
Now I speak.
Seriously!? You think I’m weak!?
Try bleeding on the streets,
Face down.  concrete!
Oh! I don’t think you’ve looked at me!?
I’m rising from the deep.
So are you going to guess,
Who your about to meet?  
HAH- ITS ME

OUTRO
————
Candle bright,
Guiding the night,
Stronger than you think,
I’m ready for more.
I want to be more than who I am
I want to make an imprint,
On the ground where I stand.
This is my story told,
In courage, fierce and bold,
Standing tall, I’ve named—
For sure-
I HAVE CLAIMED!
FIRE IN MY VEINS!!

Valiant-
A poem By:
Olivia Williams.
——-
I try to be valiant
I try to be brave
I try to be someone important
I try to be a friend
I try to be honest
And kind
I try to be respectful
Creative, and unique
But yet I fall
And I get sad
That things aren’t going the way I planned
This person he controls
My whole personality
And always withholds
From letting me be myself
So I can’t be any of those
I try to be unique
I try to be myself
But most of all
I want to be valiant