..
𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑑𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑑𝑒𝑠，
𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝..
𝑖 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓
𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓
𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛𝑑
𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜
𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑙 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑠
ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑠
𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟
..

The final written
poetic line of mine
was yours.
I still strive
for more innovation..
that made the apprehension
no longer a pal.
I'm yearning for
your altruism
to assist me again
with my trepidation.
Mi amore,
I called you my home
as it was the most
gentle exorcism prayer
that would beautifully
evict the demonic attack
of my anguish
and set my remaining
awareness perfectly at ease.

I was born to be alone..
As you weren’t there
for all my panic attacks
when I sent you a message
that I needed you right now
as my hands were shivering
to the point that I couldn't yearn for help,
when the doctor was the only one
who patted my shoulder and said;
It's okay, you are safe now…
When I saw a semi-reflection of my parents
through your soul….
Well, I’m here, fighting demons,
As it’s Thursday,
and you didn’t come home.
I know I should do better
and ignore this intense fear of mine.
I should yearn for something else
rather than the idea of
your colorful permanent settlement
in my black-and-white corners.

Same words
Same tricks
And same humor,
I would not interrupt either of the masterpieces.
I will completely show my admiration.
Both traps are alluring.
But I'm too careful not to get trapped.

My friend
Our pain is creative.
It gathered us
And made us share it.
with impressive excitement
to the point of forgetting
about its tragedy
and focusing on how beautiful
We are together in this painful life…
My friend
Remember,
What spring brings to folks’ hearts
You bring the same emotional
beauty to the lost children out there.
The children who had never
heard about spring, the colorful one
That we knew it from fairytales
And we prayed to have it.
My friend
Believe me
When they hear about you once
They will definitely call you home.

This trap is filled with poetic tricks…
Sorry, but I knew it…
I can sense your devilish intention,
Through your charms
But I'm still there…
close to your heart, trying to
Teach it how to be kind and harmless…
Also, still,
This pain is familiar.
Those tricks are similar.
But I got used to horrific nightmares…
I would not ask you to stop.
I would keep my midnight prayers
For the earth to make a safe crack
Between our contradictory intentions…
Go home; leave me for my beautiful
nightmares and that ancient level of pain.
I’m totally fine with them.

Here…
Where I’m unable to feel your presence,
Where the lack of joy and lack of motivation
Are dancing vividly along the darkness…
I would be determined and eager to achieve my goals, next to your gentle, harmless envy.
But today,
My melancholy is cherishing my epic loss,
telling me I’m neither your lover nor your foe,
I’m nothing but a forgotten chapter
A thing that will never remain
Precious to you.