I met a person I could never live without exactly one year ago. I met him and now I can never forget him.
I met this boy and fell absolutely in love with the idea of me knowing him and him knowing me. Knowing each other's faults, knowing each other's weaknesses, knowing that I could find a quiet place in him and him knowing he could find that in me.
I met this total aloof and complex guy and he's the only one I can truly talk to, the only one who I can just be completely silent with. I remember when our feelings for each other had blossomed into a rather obvious thing, we would get away from our group of friends and walk over to the playground. Somedays we would talk and talk and talk, about everything ( we always filled the other in about our lives because we didn't see each other often) other days we would sit beside each other in silence. I felt his stare as I looked at down at my feet, when I looked up he looked away quickly. He looked so fragile yet so strong, his complexity was so intriguing. In those days we were aware of all the things that would go wrong, we aware of all the terribly wonderful events that would occur between us and we still decided to become entwined in each other's lives

"Goodbye, I guess..." :
The last words I spoke to you
and I saw that look in your eyes
like you weren't able to understand
what was going on.
Like you were Tod and I was Widow Tweed
in that scene you loved but I hated
because I couldn't handle the pain in those fox eyes.
(Goodbye may seem forever,
Farewell is like the end)
I felt our connection fray
and I was no longer grasping at threads,
trying to keep us together like I said I always would.
I'm sorry I broke my promise
but you broke a hundred of yours first.
I jogged away, hoping the momentum
would keep me together for a little while longer.
Still, my heart resisted, begging to go back
and I compromised, glancing to where you were
only to see empty space on a forever haunted sidewalk.
(But in my heart's a memory
and, there, you'll always be)

Is there a word for the feeling of desperate hopelessness that only presents itself in the early hours of warm mornings? Is there a word for when you can actually feel a bond you have with someone begin to fray? Is there a word for the way the sun sometimes shines through a window and you can suddenly see an entire galaxy of dust?

There should be. I think whatever the word is, it must be the same for all three.

I guess I won that stupid fight of "I love you more."

He came screaming into my life like a balloon accidentally,
Let loose before the knot is tied,
And his words make me giddy.
So why do the words not flow onto the page over him?
Why can I only write sad poems?

I am not crazy,
Though the voices inside my head would prove other wise,
I am not lazy,
Though I would rather stay indoors than go outside,
I am not sad,
Even though I can easily think myself into depression,
I am not mad,
Even though your cruel words can are a constant suppression
I am just me.
A teenager growing up.
Wishing, I had that extra bit of luck.