I thought I could poor out all my words onto a page and Id eventually come up with something profound or earth shattering. What I discovered is that I'm a contradiction I'm full of hope while being hopeless, I love while I hate, and I hold it all together while I completely fall apart. Everything about me is murky and complicated is that profound or earth shattering ? or is it just the human condition ? Am I falling short or am I, at the precipice of all of it? Who can know for sure?

All I can tell you is that love doesn’t have emerald eyes anymore . She has hazel eyes that have their own vocabulary

prophet tongue with
stabbing perceptions
i gave him my name
while in bed.

soft white curtains
though still chamber thick
cold steel hands
and the room sliced into pieces
by morning light
but haunted by night sounds
crept into open wounds of the heart

chills.

his hand
resting on my thigh while he snores
summer bruised and adventurous
though callous youth
with his unbandaged scabbed knee
skating last night.

moment forgotten in the carride
but a stone monument staring
at me on the kitchen counter.

I can't help feeling helpless
She always been just out of reach.
Will I ever learn my lesson with her?
Tortured green eyes and a wicked smile
have left me forever vexed.
I'm left unarmed with nothing but
my hope that someday I'll get my chance
to be filled with regret or be completely
and utterly happy. For now I'll have to be
okay with being okay.