The morning light spills upwards and floods fast over me from the horizon.
Its power and beauty, astounding.

I simply wake.

My problems begin when others do the same.

Good day

I may not be the chosen one
but i chose myself
to lead the path
either good or bad
The only one
even infinite space and time
couldn't touch me
The chosen one

One thing I don't understand is the rush to be the best,
When in fifty odd years you will die,
And all that hard work gone down the drain,
What I don't understand is why we ignore death,
Until it is standing on our doorstep,
We live to die,
We die to perhaps live again,
But if this was true then we are an unstoppable cycle,
Bored of our own existence,
Until we ruin what we have,
And there's nothing more,
But oblivion.

There is a labor dispute protest
outside of the hospital I was born in and
I can't help thinking
Did this ****** up world formulate this ****** up mind?
Or did I  simply come into this world corrupt
with the surroundings to match?

I've been cripplingly depressed these last few months and
it is beginning to take it's toll on my body,
I'm so sick of regulars at my workplace commenting
on how thin I've become.
A friend hugged me,
felt my protruding rib cage and asked if I was okay.
I said, define okay, because the word has lost it's meaning
over the repetition of the phrase in my mind,
i'm okay, i'm okay, i'm okay.

These lows,
so easily justifiable
when I'm just drunk, and sad.
But it's so much harder
when i'm sober and my world's still falling apart.

I am soberish now and
realizing the extent to which I am not over so many things.
I am not over the rejection of the boy I still so badly desire,
and having to see him so happy with his old lover.
I am not over how drained I feel from 50+ hour work weeks.
I am not over the discomfort of the place I call home.
I am not over the past lovers who despise me.

Then there is you,
the former lover I still lust for,
I'm so very much not over you,
yet I know things couldn't possibly ever work out.
I am ******* sick to death of dreaming of you every god ****** night,
waking only to feel utterly demolished inside.
It's been months, why won't you leave my mind?

I'm on the brink of insanity and
I don't even know where to begin
to find the path to recovery.

I cant hear your words
they're hiding with the rain clouds,
When they finally fall upon my head
However, hard the sun may shine,
I'll be standing in those shadows
until the end of nothing left.

What I love
Is falling asleep texting them
And waking up
To see they still said goodnight
Even though they knew
You were asleep.