Lately all I've been feeling is  lost
Because whenever I want to **** myself I try to contemplate the cost
But every time it is a battle that is hard fought
Every time I get closer and closer just to ending it all
And on those lonely nights, instead of trying to fix it I just continue to push my liver to its limits
And people don't understand

People don't understand the true feeling of feeling lost
People don't understand what it feels like when the only thing you feel is lost

People don't understand how therapy doesn't do anything
Because if those therapists wouldn't get paid they wouldn't be there

People don't understand why talking about it doesn't do anything
Because those people who listen don't ever know what to say

People don't understand why trying to be happy doesn't work
Because it is impossible to shut out the voices from your head


People don't understand how our society is so heartless
Because instead of helping you when you're down they kick you
and beat you
and taunt you
Until you think you can't take anymore
Then they make it worse

Lately I've just been feeling lost
So lost that I can't even think straight anymore
So lost that eating is something I feel like doing anymore
So lost I don't even want to die anymore

So lost that all I can do is cry some more
So lost that all I want to do is cry some more

I'm living in a nightmare
But I never wake up

I'm living in a nightmare
But no matter how bad it gets I never wake up

I'm living in a nightmare
But my life is my nightmare

I tried to hug my mom the other day
But instead of hugging me back she said all I do is cause her pain
I was at a lost for words, I didn't know what to say
Then I went to my room because she told me to get out of her face

As I walked to my room I didn't know what to think
That pain is inexplicable when your own mom doesn't want to speak
I crawled into my bed feeling lost and weak
It was a struggle to breath forget eat or drink
So for two days straight all I did was weep and sleep
Because I couldn't get rid of that feeling when my mom lost faith

I got in an argument with my dad it was the same story
But unlike other writings this story will never be boring
Because I was called young, dumb, stupid and a dissapointment
They always hated me but I mean who could blame them

Because all I ever do is fail no matter how hard I try
Because I can never fix my problems no matter how hard I try

I've lived to learn that my parents will never be happy no matter now hard I try

But my days of trying to make them happy are finally over
My days of causing pain will continue no longer
Because after today no one will suffer me growing older
Maybe it didn't have to come to this if I was a little stronger

Suicide is usually an unhappy memory
But honestly no one even deserves to remember me
I'm sure the world will be a better place when I'm not here to see

Because all I ever did
Was make the world hate me

He didn't say goodbye to me
As he closed his eyes for the last time
And fell asleep in an eternal dream
A state that is far more sublime

He didn't even thank me
For giving him a home
Or providing him food and water
Sharing what I owned

I walked with him
Talked to him
Pet his hairy head

I lived with him
Stayed with him
And this is what he said

"Hi owner, how's it going
I owe to you quite a bit
But I'm a dog so I can't do much
Except maybe fetch or sit

Instead, I'll remember
The nice things we did
Together while I lived

I'm going to go
And I won't return
But I'll leave with you a gift

It's all the cool fun memories
Those things inside your head
That you sometimes think about
When you're alone or before you go to bed

And even though it's not a lot
I'd like to let you understand
That it was a blast being by your side

And that I hope I was a good friend"