Remains spread across a mossy bed,
Trees warned of the wind above,
Dissuaded from reassembling,
Decided rotting was better,
Transforming into the earth below.

These hands,
These arms,
This torso,
This mess,

It’s more so,
Less so,
Guess so,
It’s so-so.

From moss comes the dewdrops,
Caught sight of the glimmer,
Travelling inside of fingernail beds,
Through pumping varicose veins,
The pressure erupts through-

These eyes,
These ears,
This nose,
This mess.

It’s more so,
Less so,
Guess so,
It’s so-so.

These legs,
These feet,
This tragedy,
This mess.

I’m less so,
More so,
Guess so,
I’m so-so.

Startled awake,
Thought I was fake,
It didn’t take,
For heaven’s sake.

Everyday, I can see through the drafts,
You're sleepier with every hitch,
The snow's seeming closer as the days grow longer,
And once the longest day of the year pasts,
I know we'll still forge on through mountains.

Mount Everest will be jealous by the amount of people you've killed,
From your everlasting freezing weathered heart,
Maybe you didn't mean to but I won't allow myself to leave,
I'll put on some mountain boots and hike,
Up your slopes I will forge on.

The vices inside that repeat your new boot turned over,
How you've changed, my love, it's inspiring,
Even to the towering Himalayas,
I'll watch you eat some ***** snow before you spit it up,
You're starting to hate the taste and want some fresh ice,
I understand that you're getting too hot.

Mount Everest will be jealous by the amount of people you've killed,
From your everlasting freezing weathered heart,
Maybe you didn't mean to but I won't allow myself to leave,
I'll put on some mountain boots and hike,
Up your slopes I will forge on.

All the thoughts that I hate
And wish to exterminate

Mr. Lake

All the razors that I've flushed
and wish to forget

Mr. Lake

All the memories that I left in the rain
and wish to purge

Mr. Lake

Don't forget that he is alive
He will flood my membrane
fill it with something that I crave

Mr. Lake

Eyes of the cat and teeth of a lion
He'll befriend me
Contending all the secrets
That's him, yes it is

Mr. Lake

To the municipality of my right side brain,
I send you this letter wishing you well,
Asking you kindly for a drop of water,
I know the well has been run dry,
And the rivers are beginning to tire,
Know I'd be forever in debt,
If I were spared just a drop of water.

I want to make,
Make the music I wanted to,
From the very time they told me,
"You'll never make it."
I lost it all.
Breathing hopelessness

I tried so hard to fly,
I tried so hard to walk,
These grounds where the pebbles lay,
Where the glass sticks into my feet,
Like the sand that covers my feet,
Infecting the multiplying wounds,
But I've kept walking.

I don't know how I've made it this far,
But here's to my home and to my family,
And to my friends who stayed when they could,
I trust that this home I've lived will keep me disclosed,
As a neon embroidered gravestone is never what I want,
Play me a song, won't you play me a song?

I'm sick and tired of questioning myself,
Am I enough? Am I purposeful?
It's the bigger picture that I'm worried about,
Never the minute details and happiness,
I'd change if I could but I've wanted something big,
For so many years and to change would be groundbreaking in my head,
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat the day.

The night, the light come on inside my head,
Like a porch with little children,
Forcing me out and making me think about,
How it has to be this way,
And how I have to be this dreamer,
In order to pass in order to survive,
yet at this point....what is it really like to survive?
When help always seems to far away,
So far that it hangs in front of my face like a dog to a bone.

In ever aspect of life,
In the aspect of life itself,
Living and breathing seems like a goal,
An achievement that I cannot reach,
I failed to live for you and that's the truth,
I'm sorry, oh god I'm sorry, when there's no path I was supposed to have made.
Cant keep going, can't keep going.
If I pray to God, will he answer when I'm finally gone?
In this dreamlike state, if feels like hell,
The tightness of my chest, the dryness of my tongue, and the twisting in my gut.

I never want to make you cry,
I never want to hurt you,
I never want to stray away like I've been doing,
And everyone asks "what will you do with him?"
"How will you get him out of his own hole now?"
Well but, I'll get rid of those questions for you,
I'll rid the stress of knowing I fail,
That I'll repeat a fight or an argument,
It's unfair, I know it's unfair,
Just believe me when I say that I am not nor never okay.
It's a front, so I don't have to confront your eyes when you say,
All these things that I care about and what do you mean when you say I'm selfish for even thinking so?

And the words in your hands,
Speak to me like a poem,
I'm captivated and interested from the moment you begin,
The lessons you've taught me,
The joys you've made me feel,
I'd stay alive for you, I'd stay alive for your stories,
But things are so far away now and the torment they've put your through deters you from home,
You've made mistakes and maybe I'm one of them,
Though I know you care and that you want me to learn all of the things you've been given,
You know me better than anyone I've ever know,
So please, don't forget me and do forgive me.

My little drama queens,
You walk with a confidence that I cannot describe,
How you both stay so strong and the happiness you envelope,
I wish I understood, though it might be youth, I hope you never change,
My love for your pride in yourself exceeds any other brother alive,
Know that I care, So know that I care.

Friends,
All my wonderful ones, the ones who left, the ones I had to leave behind,
You're all meaningful, I gave each of you a piece of my heart,
Just to remember and know that I learned,
That I learned that I can be worthy,
That I don't have to stagnant,
Standing still, I have to say, cause I don't want dominoes on my hands,
You are worth it,
When my ship goes down,
You climb up,
I'm sorry, so very sorry.

So I'm gonna say,
It's tonight's crime that may bring light to things I've never said,
To things I've called unworthy, like myself.
"How could he go if he's got everything?"
Well In my head, the friends that I've lost,
and the things I've been through saturates the negative,
I'm just a kid and I've got nothing to bring into the light of my head.

I don't know how I've made it this far,
But here's to my home and to my family,
And to my friends who stayed when they could,
I trust that this home I've lived will keep me disclosed,
As a neon embroidered gravestone is never what I want,
Play me a song, won't you play me a song?

I stand, here in the trees
An ode to a song
And to my life as it roars
Satisfied with the direction
I walk on not a ledge but a bridge,
Hands on the ropes to keep steady

I stand, thanking myself and the people whom surround me,
You’re all contributors to this success,
Thank you from the bottom of this patched soul.

Ode to home, my love, and my friends,
I’m steady and on my way,
Compassion turned passion,
I’m so happy and overjoyed,
That your support keeps me grounded.

Check on me from time to time,
Cause I won’t lie I get down,
But I haven’t cut these wrists since I’ve turned 17,
I feel as if I’ve escaped, I’m in Trench, I’m not alone.

I’m alive.
I’m alive
Alive
Alive
Alive
Alive
I’m alive
I’m alive

I hear my world run cold,
as everything falls out of reach,
Then I breath my last retort,
My fate now closer than yesterday

Every time I throw the spear,
It harpoons into a brick wall,
Where I can't punch to continue though,
So I cradle my gun,
Hoping it saves me.

The wraith around my neck,
Tugs at the veins,
I'll crack open my face,
To see things the way they want me to,
But I can't and I'm forced back into the water,
Ashamed of who I am.

Every time I toss the rock,
It lodges into the brick wall,
Where I can't peek through to the other side,
So I cradle my scars,
Hoping I make it another day.

Pinpoint the subsurface crack,
Stare until my vision goes black.

We must be complete maniacs,
Eating our own dental plaque.

Here's a toast to the next generation,
They'll solve what's wrong with the nation.

Survived our own cremation,
But will we survive damnation?

Teeth rotting out of our mouth,
Won't let the dentist into the house.

Ignore all of the deep seated doubt,
Despite pain that screams so loud.

What's the solution for this?
We'd rather live in ignorant bliss.

Obey the laws, stay off the lists,
There's a crushing boot we'd rather kiss.

The leather taste masks the decay,
Step out of line and we will all pay.

Stare horrified at the widening gaps,
Watch our leaders take lazy laps.

As we stand and ignore the collapse,
Instead we rip apart the lower class.

Using dental tools to pretend,
We get it and we comprehend.

How we have come to descend,
Yet still, we're unable to amend.

The rich stand inside golden gates,
Pointing their fingers at the baits.

Watching us fixate on our tails and give chase,
By the time we're broken down, it's too late.

By now, it's too late,
We'll watch and meet our fate,
The tooth decay much too great,
Gave in to the ouroboros of hate.

The key to your mind was locked away,
Inside a box, Inside a closet,
And every corner of your head kept everyone away,
Wake up,
Wake up,
Wake up for me,
Wake up for me.
We're getting out of here,
We're getting out of here.
Out of here.

I'm on my knees once again,
Not to disrupt you,
Not you insult you,
But to honestly plead,
Could you please save me?

Strip me of my pride,
My disbelief.
Help me carry on through blades,
Far away from self-deprecation.
I implore,
I need your breath to keep me going furthermore.

I'm bleeding from the scars now,
Hiding from the sun,
Turning towards the moon,
the east,
the west.

I don't know anymore,
But I need your hands in begging harmony,
next to mine.
Don't leave me alone,
I crave your touch,
As I grow weak and unanswered.

I sit up,
to disrupt,
my constant state of mind,
Beseech your bleeding wings,
Save me.