What happened to the queens?
As a young woman
Refuse to discredit your happiness
Won't settle
Won't break
Pressure will bust a pipe
And does what to a diamond?
Creating within
Curved around the edges
I wish more women would think like me
Know your treasure
As rubies
Not door knobs
Can I blame society?
Or can I blame them for not valuing themselves and teaching these habits to their daughters into statistics of unhappiness?
Tilted crowns caused leaning crowns.
What happened to our queens?

No more distractions
I take the L
You the W
When You Walk Away
Breaking me
Fell 7 times
Got up 8
Then 9 then 10
Again and again and again and again
Is it me?
The goal?
I ponder
Is it not to be lonely or to be loved so there is no more love lost?

I realized how much I missed you once you were inside of me
Pardon me
How forward?
Didn't anticipate the chemistry
Our fire
Is it the love we make like Avant?
Or the juices gushing
Blood rushing
The met tempo
We know each other
Shiver
Goosebumps
Sweat dripping onto the body below
Not buckets
Just enough to focus on the effort

I realized I craved you
Memory of your mouth in tingly places
Scratch the sugar coating
Your tongue
My ****
Riding your face until I ******
One finger here
One finger there
*** meeting your mouth
Feeding
Midnight snacking
Its been so long
Why?
Reminiscing on the feeling
**** magic
We created hurricanes of pleasure
Earthquake sensations
Tsunami cascades
Ecstasy soaks the sheets
Wring them out
Twisting
Like a towel to drain water before washing your face
I glance down
Riding the wave
I missed my satisfaction evidence on your mouth
Tasting of honey
Sensing the loss of your presence as if you're not here
You aren't

Don't you remember?
Nights in nirvana
Our eyes meeting
Lights on
I saw seduction in your glare as the visuals met reality
Teasing
Tip
Tricky sensation
Impressing the intensity
Two hand stroking
Spit
Frustrating your mind in the best of ways
Shifting to stop me fell upon deaf ears
Exploding into an entry
My jaws accepting
Swallowing your member
Inhaling the load to choke out your insecurities
All I desire is you

Subliminal body calling
Come over
What are you doing to me?
There's no place I'd rather be

Rounds
Distracted in you
High inside
On the outside
Grip
My waist
Standing
Legs surrounding your stance
Bouncing in air
Like a ball
*****
Smacking skin
While ponding from behind
******* frustration
******* the frustration while thumbs fit perfectly in the back dimple spaces

You give me fever

My dad's last words were "I'm tired"
At that point
Everything changed
You ready yourself for a loss
A flatlined phone call
Last breath
Cold night sweats
Wondering if the transition gave relief
Was he tired of pain?
Tired of seeing new faces or old family disgraces?
Bogus drama?
The kids wildin?
Tired of me?
Too tired ro see
Exhausted with no sleep
Worried how it all might be
I wonder if he feared death
Was the death of me
Tend to overthink
As I do
I realized
I'm ******* tired too
Wasting sleep needed nights on your *****
His problems
What he needs
How I became problem solver
Setups
Schemes
Plots
Secretary
Bulk stops
Find a fein
Treat him mean
Trade the green
And let him fein
It's not just you
It's me too
Tired of the scamming fools
Find the sucker
Pleasure his peak
Leave him with his pockets weak
Tired of bad kids
Exhausted from the bills
Loyal to the hustle
We gotta pay just to live
I didn't ask to be here
God said procreate
Speaking of the one above
I beg He take the hate
Take this hate
Take this hate
Hate is harsh
Rather rid it than to bake
Rather drink then to bake
Burns in my chest never go away
Tired of backstabbers
A ***** to smile then smize
Plotting little ***
Wish I could've seen your warning signs
Tired of these pills and automobiles
I'm tired
Tired of being used
Treated like a pawn in your game of chess
I'm a diamond
Queen
Treasure
Chest
Guarding the king that carries the dream
Holding the weapon
Though its unseen
But
EVERYTHING CHANGES
Things change
People change
Mistakes are made
People change
Tired of being kicked out of the "bond"
Tighter than infinity signs
Colder than 41 degrees below
Sweeter than a heart of purple
The isle of you never stopped
In a school of roses
Pedals dropped
Texas was posted
So she showed it
Yet in all of it
I'm really tired of playing fool

I touched myself to you last night
Thinking it could all be so simple
So real
But it isn't
I'm just a passerby
I see you
You see me
Our thoughts
The same
Stripping each other
Slowly
Reality
I'm afraid
Not of the injuries of your touch
Not even about getting choked up
***
I like it
But it's deeper than that
I know you'll feel deeper than this
Your hands
My thighs
Grip
Tighter
I'm high off you and I haven't even tasted you yet.

Hi
My name is Naive
The very one that is always taken for granted with the sweetest of hearts
Yep
That’s me
Whether it be car rides
Babysitting
Bond money or holding tanks
That’s right. It’s me
Looks innocent to the eye
Apparently not quiet enough
Don’t pick up on cues
Don’t see the warning signs
Never noticed that the butterflies in my stomach was my fight or flight conscience telling me to walk away
Hard headed
Pulled me right towards you
As chaos unwinds
I know the hate will grow
Not from me
I’ll occasionally look back on how it used to be.
But I ****** because I’m so naive?
Yes self you’re naive
To the streets of dishonesty
Why do you even call on me?
Reliability? Durability? Or is it because you just picked up on my temperament?
Maybe that’s why you prowled?
It’s my fault
Since I did more harm then hurt just leave me be
Just leave me alone

I’m glad I held on
Held your hand
One last time
One last breathe
Gone
Cold
I was told
You left us
I’m glad I held on
Held your hand
One last time
As you ascended
Memories
Imagining
You regaining your strength
In your limbs
In your mind
You shined
Smiled
I’m glad you held on
The way you did
Until I released
You back to Him
I’m glad I held on to you
My body tells me it’s time
Even though my mind
Hates the memory of losing
A best friend
A laughter out loud
A smile with a few good teeth
A working man with working hands
I’m glad I held on
Held your hand
One last time
No #FuckCancer gofundme page will ever replace you
No brown eyes with a gray tint to look at
Drown in
Get lost in
No sound of rough feet rubbing together
Sounded like matches
No more car watching on the porch as people passed
That’s your baby girl?
That’s your grandpa?
Nope that’s my daddy giggles
No more haircuts on the porchNo new memories
I’m just so glad
Glad I held on
Held your hand


Happy Birthday

In my years of motherhood
I’ve pick up on new things
Like no matter how many times I say no
No thank you
No thank you
No thank you

She hears yes
She hears try to feed mom more of it better yet grab her face and make her eat it!
If I say stop
Stop. No thank you
No thank no thank you.
She hears go because mom can’t catch me
Which it’s funny
Until we’re crossing the street and memories I don’t have of my childhood comes back to bite me because I was hit by a car at the age of 4
Kids follow the adult
Kids live by example
For the life of me my daughter can not understand why she doesn’t get to wear deodorant or have to shave
Yet
Yet
It’s impossible to tell my daughter not to scratch when she sees mommy doing it
Poor itchy skin
100 percent cotton
Oatmeal baths and aquaphor
before I knew what it was to be a woman you matured me
So I thank you
Outside of making my hustle harder
You’ve made me realize
How much I sound like my mother
How independence buds young
How what you say echoes
How you repeat what you hear before understanding what the hell it means like what bed bugs actually were meanwhile steady telling each other goodnight don’t let them bite

You made me realize I’m not bulletproof
How much you need me and I need you
How kisses fix boo boos
And hugs dry tears and make everything better
But there’s a not so nice part
I know you’ll tell me you hate me
I’ll explain why you are growing here there and are getting hair everywhere
But that’s the beauty of my motherhood
Not the strongest nor the only single one but I know I’m a **** good one
For the others out there on your grind you deserve all the cookies cakes and a nap
Take in how we make it happen
Take in how we make something out of nothing
Take it how we do it alone
The fight
struggle
Succeed
alone
but really go take a nap

Legacy


She gave her all
Her last
When there was none left
Love was right
Lost love in a sense
Tell them she was just trying to make it
To find or not to find her way
She was insane
Not looking to blame the next for her mistakes
She knew
Wisdom sat on her shoulder like a boulder carrying it around like baggage claim
A disaster
Like the devils on Hercules her life was a string that couldn't be cut.
Never gave up
Grinding for those who looked up to her
Or down to her size
Come to realize
Motherhood knocked on her door early
Before lied down
Before she kissed her father goodnight kisses not knowing if he'd wake up again
Before the meals she prepared for her brothers
Before the nights she prayed with her mother
Before you were in your mothers womb
Jeremiah spoke "God knew me."
Tell them my legacy
I was a giant
With ways that humbled me down to 6 ft small
Shadows along the wall couldn't compete with the heart she left on the stage
Blood stained sleeves
Flowing rivers of rage
Tears no longer water
Just Hemoglobin waves
Leaving the mic checks to switch lanes
Her story tattooed her body like a open book
... more came after
Tell them
Babies don't feed themselves at first
Nor teach themselves morals
Announce aloud
Any single parent doing it by themselves needs help
Explain
There were times that we sat in the dark because mommy just didn't have it
Report we were homeless
Acknowledge the government only wanted to assist you if you weren't willing to help yourself
Tell them there where times when I leaned on my daughter. Her response was glare saying mommy "I'm just a baby"
with God we made it
Proclaim to push and push and push
Pray
Until
Something
Happens
Speak of me as a messenger for God
Every word misunderstood at the mic was exchanged for a dance step or tune
So that so misunderstood became apprehending the good
Express that i taught the young girls that their worth wasn't something to be bought
It came with a cost
To fall in love with Jesus
Because boys these days can repeatedly show you how your good enough to lie down with but not enough to wife 7Bs knowledge for life
Affirm my love hard as concrete roses
Muscle brick shoulders
Chest to the bar to bench press walls of life
I love you
Even though you stabbed me in the back
I've wondered why you haven't called me back
Futuristically I see positivity
the God i believe can do all things
413
Love left in a sense
When there was none
Her last
She gave her all

Again Tell them her legacy
How it all began

Better yet...wait.

Fragile


Everyone is temporary
They want you to fail
Matter of fact there is no one around you that routes for your success and that's a problem
If diamonds are made under pressure
Why is it that I feel broken
Like ants under feet
Being stomped on faily
I'm crushed
There's gotta be a rhyme to reason
The pain
Unbelievable
But it ***** not having someone in your corner
That's how i always **** myself over

Glass is fragile and so are bonds.
Both can be shattered