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Yesterday, my psyche took a beating,
Today, I feel like a bruise
That is past its angry, blue-black peak
And throbs with a dull, distracting ache.

Like the aftermath of a storm
When the formerly purple clouds lighten
But still threaten a final, farewell wetting.

That's me, a bruise of many hues
Across a canvas of undetermined mood,
Turbulent, fierce, bleeding still,
Close to the surface, threatening to break.
Walking.
Why are you laughing at me?
The next hall.
Why are you staring at me?

What so funny?
Whatever it is... just stop laughing at me
What now?

I cant wait for this time to end.
I'm sick of waiting on you to realize I'm still a person.
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY?!

I cant call anyone.
I just sit alone.
I can't talk to anyone.
I'M still alone.

No more waiting on you to realize.

Here she comes.
There she goes.
Where do I go?
I cant cry.
I can't show them.
I have to hide.
I have to run.
I cant run.
2 more hours.

Ignored this too long.
Whatever it is........
Stop laughing at me.
Inspired by What Now~ Rhianna
Who do you talk to about the things you need.?
When the person you thought you needed wasn't there.?
Your life almost ended but you couldn't quite succeed.
So you failed.
A couple more minutes until you leave.
These scars you can already tell are different
That's why you can't be what you want to be.
Your body isn't what it's supposed to be
it's ugly
it's deformed
it's got scars that no one wants to see
it's uglier than people tell you.
Wait no
People tell you you're beautiful.
They just don't see who you really are
they don't see that you are an ugly decrepit creature living through a beautiful world stuck to decide whether or not you live or die your minutes are almost up.
What will you do when your home?
Blades all around you.
Will you begin something new?
Will you switch over to.....
Times up its time to leave.
Free write
Crying out for peace.
Canceling a simple thing.
How Am I suppose to breathe.
A stupid thing to be upset about
A burning game of hide and seek

My my my I need love
Lonely road to the
One thing
I think is meant for me

How do people do these things?
Walk Alone.
Everyone should have someone. No.

Our blood is mixed in with the depths of our truth.
We bleed out until the world finally knows what we NEED.
Do                          You
See                        ­ The
Woman                     Alone
Inspired by Give Me Love ~ Ed Sheeran
As I stood here thinking
I realized the things I couldn't be
Taken by society's view
I'm stuck wondering
Who to believe?
Am I going to be happy
Am I pretty?
I can't fight the things that run through my mind
I'm alone and in love with the thought of being here
and why is that kind of love more important than loving myself
because I'm alone
and freeing myself is the key to being myself.
BEING MYSELF.
Who am I being, who am I becoming.
I fall with many and rise alone.
ALONE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY EVERYONE IS GONE
This love shouldn't be stuck
and ended because of the hatred
I see trying to stop myself from becoming the enemy.
I don't know how to breathe.
I cant see.
I cant feel
I cant hear. I cant be.
I'm still figuring out how life is suppose to work
but my scars have become the thing
I dread THE MOST.
They become a sign.
A sign of hurt.
Pain.
Disgust.
Truth.

They are my truth.
The writhing pain I felt as I realized he was untrue.
The pain I felt when I realize I'm alone
stuck in the middle of society.
BE YOURSELF.
You are perfect alone.  
No one is perfect alone
because we are judged alone.
That girl reading her book.
She has a smile that could light up a dark night.
You'll never see.
Society makes us believe we are who
THEY say we need to be
but when will the time come
that I can just be me.
Be Free.
Now as I am here I question the things I see, does she really believe no one will see her changing and new coming and goings I see them just as I see everything else I am not blind. A blind man could see her future better than a man with 20/20 vision. Why? The blind man need not see her to know what her personality will do to her future and how it has affected her past. The man with vision will just look upon her and say she will be fine. NO extra observation. She’s pretty, tall, and elegant, so she must be successful. WRONG. She MUST need help.

       -Heaven Nickole   11/5/12
Scars on you wrists
Blood dripping you arm

Razor on the dresser
The pain is almost gone.

A couple days later
Your scars are no longer red,
but the old they're still there

It's been couple of weeks,
but these scars......

Never Fade

He looks at your arm.
An indescribable pain

The look on his face
A indescribable shame.

You look down hiding your face.
He saw your scars because they

Never Fade

What to say?
Where will you go?

Your scars feel buried
deep deep below....

Below the skin
Below the nerves

Below the meat
Below the bones
Below the pain

These scars....
will *Never Fade
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