They ask me why I'm not
the life of the party
like I used to be.
Have they forgotten how
they beat me up like the piñata
when I used to be?

Take your shots and confetti
your high heels and let me be
I've run out of laughs for you
and never had any left for me.

all my life
i've been preparing faces
to meet the faces that
i've met

friends
family
the man who delivers newspapers
at our doorstep each morning

i've laughed at their silly jokes
as they tossed their heads from side to side
in naive stupidity and their sheer ignorance
a pompous lot, the human race i tell you

i've acknowledged their staunch morals
and tried to make them my own
as they scorned at the girl in a skimpy dress
and chewed on mutton bones gluttonously

all my life, i've been trying hard
to blend in
with people who've shown me
that i don't belong with them

and tonight when i shed gallons of tears
i have only my bed and pillow to share
i've learnt that my sadness
is my very own

God, I am no angel.
I'm crying blood
and bleeding tears
So why was I sent here?

The only angel I might be
is the angel of death
Everything I touch
takes its last breath

I have wings, indeed
but they are not vast
enough to shelter
all of humanity

So even when I go,
and leave demons behind,
I would not be a fallen angel.
Because did I even rise?

Even when I go,
just know there are
a million, trillion
angels still by your side.

But who'll protect you like I did?
I promise, that if from above,
I see your wings break,
I would surely fall... again.

I pace back and forth
I beg to get support
I'm screaming, watery eyes.
They assure, "It's alright, child. Smile."

I climb the Mount Everest
Apathy is all there ever is.
I shout "We're running out of time!"
They sing, "Don't worry, child. Smile!"

Policies have wreaked havoc
But 'I don't know what I'm talking about.'
People getting killed in front of my eyes.
But okay yes I'm a child I should smile.

From your smiles what did you gain?
That from justice I have to abstain?
You place your hand on my shoulder.
STOP. I don't want to hear those words again.

The world is on fire behind me now.
But never mind, look at me now.
They are crying, they are dying.
But never mind, I'm smiling.

I don't want to be cared about,
I want to care about someone.
To rip my soul apart for someone.
But it's like my heart wasn't made to care.
And people weren't made to be cared about.

All my blessings are a curse,
and my curses are a blessing.
.