The amount of love I give to everyone is overwhelming
People who **** me off still receive my love
Because my heart, well it just can't focus
My heart spills out to everyone like water,
I have love for individuals, who doesn't?
But my since my heart is like water, no focus
I'm afraid I'll never be able to focus my love on one person

I bled a rainbow
But the colors mixed
And now it's just black

I bled a rainbow
But the colors aren't "right"
So I cut a little deeper
Until I hit the heart of the issue
Only to find the root of it all
Is
     My
             **Heart.

Sometimes people need a shock
To get their heart beating again

I wish I was there
But then again
It could have been
A nightmare

Heidi hoo
My baby boo
I raised you
I love you
I miss you too
Heido hoo
Heidi hoo
I know
You're fine
Honey poo
My sweet baby
My sweet girl
I want you to know
You are my world
Heidi hoo
Heidi hoo
I'll never stop looking
For you

God let her come back into my life
Thank You

Help me to love the parts of myself I hate
Help me to love my nose, chin, and smile and hair
Help me to love my body, chest and hips and legs
Help me to love my personality, my bad jokes, awkwardness, and loud mouth
Help me to love myself
Please
Help me to love myself

He played his guitar for me
Smiled and sang for me
Did my favorite songs for me
Showed he cared for me

She knows lately her mind has not been of this world
But it hasn't been combing the cosmos either
Rather it drifts further and further into the black, unfurled
Only tiny flickers of planets that have since expired

She so yearns for her body to join her mind
To leave this lively atmosphere behind
For even when she shuts her eyes, the world is still around
Nothing can quite change the fact her feet are still on the ground.

And though you'll find this ending grim,
This planet no longer cages her in
She has joined her mind out in the dark
And has left behind no earthly spark
She has left the ground without a care
As her body hangs, suspended in the air.

We pass by and it’s dark
And it’s late
And the sky is just as purply orange
And the air is just as hazy
And the temperature is just cool

I know what You want, God
I figured out your path for me
I know why I am alive now

There's a moment when you want to be held,
And there's a moment when you want to hold someone else

But my hold is loosening
You'd like it better that way

Some things are worth holding back
Some things are worth holding back for others

Hold my hand
Please someone hold it
That's what I was missing from my childhood,
Somewhere along the way of it,
My parents forgot to hold my hand
Which maybe why I always feel lost,
Feel like I am missing something
Lay next to me
Not to seem, ******
Because that's the exact opposite of what I mean
Because after what I've seem from my dad,
I don't feel comfortable with him next to me
Someone come over, watch a movie,
And lay next to me
Laugh with me
I haven't heard laughter in my home for awhile
Someone come over, just to smile
Let's have pointless conversations
hold my hand

I'm truly afraid
I'll never feel at home anywhere

Watching the touching story of a girl coming out to her parents,
Her parents being completely loving and accepting
I realized my parents would have the opposite reaction

This has been over-said, I know
But it seems as though some people
Aren't listening
How can homosexuality be a choice?
Why would someone choose that life-style
Of pain, rejection, fear, and no acceptance?
Why would two boys choose
To have a relationship they had to keep hidden?
A relationship many people would not accept?
Why would they choose to be separated in public
To not even look at each other for fear of rumors
Who dare compare love to *******,
How dare they say it's comparable to loving a car
These are people, and this is real love
How dare they say that those two girls
Holding hands, looking into each others eyes
Love each other any less than the boy and girl
Please, I urge anyone out there doubting
That these people don't choose to live that way
It's your responsibility to create a world
Where it's no longer un-accepted,
Where those boys can show the world they
Do like kissing, they do like holding hands
It's our responsibility to change for the better
Anyone who says it's a choice, obviously
Has never fallen helplessly in love before

Come back come back come back

There is hope for me
There is hope for all of us
We will all make it
Regardless of the tiny
Mistakes we make now

Maybe these aren't hormones
But my true feelings coming out
And proving me wrong
For the second time in my life

She motioned the outline of an hourglass, a particularly curvy one
And said, "you're supposed to look like this"
And I thought to myself, *that way of thinking is just the problem

It's really not a question of what should I do
I know **** well the answer to that one
It's the issue of *how

How lovely is it to see someone burning
How nice is it to see the wanting in their eyes
How grand is it to see them yearning
How wonderful it must be to have someone
Crashing at your feet, but why?
How fantastical to pleasure the pain of need

How could I ever forget
This was the moment my life was set
The day that I lost you
As clear as the day we met
How could I ever forget

In a world where it's not safe to be queer
A world where people actually **** themselves
Because not everyone accepts how they love
It it could quite possibly be a very dangerous thing
To out someone, revel their ****** orientation
And I have to say, reveling that kind of information
Is a very cruel, and potentially damaging thing to do
And if one cares at all about quality of life, or even quantity of life at all
If one knows at all about what it's like to be queer
I urge them not to even consider such a damaging thing .
What kind of "changed" or "better" person
would ever contemplate such a thing?

Everywhere people act like they don't care
Friends, parents, siblings, all do it to avoid
Letting their human show.
Since when was human nature a crime

Dancing as wildly as a hurricane, spinning
But at the center, the eye, she was calm

There is also a moment when you realize they are not the one being hurt by others
The only thing hurting them was themselves
Whereas with you, well, all along, they were the one hurting you

I can't sleep
I can't hold my own eyelids up
I can't smile
I can't laugh
I can't pretend today
It's very obvious today
*I can't
I can't
I can't

To think I spend so many hours wondering if you're alright
How many hours I've put into making sure you know
That you are loved, you are cared for, you are good, you are valuable
And after all of the **** I have seen and been through,
You think it's annoying I complain?
Even though I rarely do.
Even though I hold everything in until it hurts my insides
You think it's annoying I complain?
Why else didn't you answer my question?
No wonder I stopped telling you what's wrong with me.
I guess I sensed your dissatisfaction with my venting.
And now
*Now I have no one

this isn't a poem*
I'm a ******* idiot
How could I be so stupid
How could I let this happen
I'm an idiot
That won't tell the truth
Because I don't want to hurt
Anyone anymore

My poems become shorter
I realize this isnt private anymore
Ive learned to hold it within
It won't bother you anymore

and everyone says I don't care
while I'm curled in a ball thinking
*what if they don't

I try not to
But when I see you
The only thing
I see is what
You caused

I was running at full speed
Feeling as confident as ever
Then I tripped on myself
And fell flat to the ground
I layed there for weeks
And now I've finally gotten up
And started to walk again

All this time I thought if I killed myself she wouldn't grieve all that much. That it'd be better off. That it'd make her happier.
But
If I were to **** myself, she would mourn. She would die inside. She would care.
*And that makes all the difference

You know that ghost is me.
And I will never be set free,
As long as I'm a ghost that you can't see.

Eating goldfish when watching movies
When my dad says he's proud of me
When I get reassuring hugs from friends
When I have a laughter filled day
Late night conversations, and cute snapchats
Racing and beating the boys in PE
Looks flashed from down the halls
When we sing and she plays guitar at lunch
Goosebumps from listening to a song
The thought of fall approaching

What happens when the pain is too great?
Your feelings overflow, like a river does
It's water kills everything in range
You need a way out. Some way or change


You look in the mirror
and wince at your reflection
You close your eyes
And dream of perfection

It's not possible you know
To reach that high up goal
To kiss the clouds or
Paint the sky, they are
just too high

I can show you how to love yourself
It's actually quite simple
Just accept every imperfectly perfect
Flaw, every mole or pimple

God made you. You are part of something big
Part if His masterpiece. He knows you
From every word you've said
To each hair on top your head

Next time you look in the mirror
See you were made in His image
So smile and how the world
Because you are  beautiful
You. You are an imperfectly perfect
Image

I'm done with all of the angst,
I'm done hiding in dark corners
Sitting in a brew of unhappiness, simmering
I'm through with poems about being dead
Poems about the past, which is but a bump
In my bright future
I'm done having a boyfriend who I don't love
Who I tried to love, but once again, forced
I'm done feeling sick around certain people
(Even though I can't change the way my body responds)
I can't stand half the songs on my phone anymore
Because they force memories to the surface
And why the hell do I want to feel that?
I'm done being dark and twisty,
Done saying negative comments about my life
Done with cigarettes and done with substances
Created to make me feel happy,
When all they do is make me feel helplessly small
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done

I miss the highs and lows,
All the climbing, all the falling,
All the while the wild wind blows,
Stinging you with snow
And soaking you with rain
I miss the mountains,
I miss the pain.

I miss you, I need you
Every night I picture
Seeing you again
Because I truly miss you

Okay so I am jealous
I'm jealous you have people
People who love you
People who think you're attractive
I'm jealous that even though
You have a lover,
You get more and more
While I stand here
Completely available
And draw in nothing

I'm the kind of person...
Who scratches their crotch in public
I reach up and dig a ****** out whenever
If I gotta pick my nose, ****** I pick it
I pick up the clump of hair in the shower with my bare hands
If the food is good, I inhale it
I eat with intent, with no regard for being tidy
I belch in public and think it's funny
Sometimes I forget to wash my hands after I ****
My shoes smell real bad
I haven't washed my sheets since I started college
I shower every three to four days
I'm the kind of person who talks to myself
I laugh at my own jokes
One day I'm wearing a petite feminine dress
And the next I'm wearing a men's button up with baggy cargo pants
My aesthetic switches from ***** hippy, emo punk, to vintage princess
My mood changes from suicidal numb girl
To thinking I can fix the entire planet in a day
I'm the kind of person who neglects to tell people when something they are doing is bothering me
I am a people pleaser
I space out and stare at nothingness
Sometimes I won't shut up
While other times I won't talk for the whole day
I want to try every single type of ethic food in existence
My music taste varies as much as my clothing style does
I wish I could be a doctor, farmer, astronaut, fire fighter, photographer, and homeless at the same time
Nothing bothers me more than feeling unintelligent
I bite my nails in front of people when I'm uncomfortable
I *** in swimming pools
I don't like the idea of traditional dates
I want to be able to talk about poops and farts on the first date
I become quiet when I'm really angry and I never address the real issue
I am all of these things and more
And for the most part, I like it
I like it in all of its *****, gross, ****** up, complicated, diverseness.
Today is a good day.

I need someone who can look at a tree
And appreciate every leaf growing
I need someone who will take the time
To walk and look at the mountains
I need someone who focuses on happy
And searches for the color in things
I need someone who will dive in
And explore oceans of possibilities

There are some injuries you cannot see
Some injuries you won't get to in time

No matter how hard I try
The ink blothches on the page,
The paint on the canvas,
The pencil on the paper,
They will never transform
Into real life