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 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
Maple Mathers
~

loving
you
was
a
**Sisyphean
task.
(All poems original Copyright of Eva Denali Will © 2015, 2016)
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
Creep
all over
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
Creep
The thing is
its not that you left
I dont mind that you've gone to go find yourself
to explore things you've never seen
to escape this hellhole

Its that you didn't take me with you
Pour mon pere

House of memories
by panic! At the disco
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
Creep
Gray
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
Creep
The sky was gray,
the kind of overcast that took over
not only the sky
but took your mind with it,
Pouring all of its tears
steadily
into all your thoughts,
Drenching them and washing them all away.
The steady pitter patter of the rain
drummed away all the swirling mania that danced across my head,
the soft jazz settling into my head
steadying me
and finally bringing me to rest.
I love the rain and dark days, especially with a hot cup of tea and a warm sweater and soft jazz playing.

Cest si bon
by Louis armstrong
for who could learn to
love something as broken
as me
"missing you comes in waves
and tonight
I am drowning"
---
On My Mind by Ellie Goulding
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
CE
IT MAKES ME UNEASY TO REALISE I AM JUST LIKE YOU
AND THE WAY I CAN'T SEPERATE YOUR FACE FROM MY OWN MAKES ME AFRAID THAT ONE DAY
I'LL TURN ON THE NEWS AND SEE MYSELF IN THE PLACE OF YOU
AND I'LL SEE MY FACE CAPTIONED WITH THE SAME WORDS

"KILLER ON THE LOOSE"
I just want you to need me as much as you need oxytocin, dopamine & serotonin. I selfishly want your sky's to be gloomy without me. I want everything & everyone that's not me to feel like a mistake. I want you to feel that you live in a black & white world If I'm not around.

I want you to need me.
But when you need me,
you become monotonous.
I want you to need me
& as soon as you do,
I'll leave...
S.R.
Subtle manipulations...
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
irinia
"Like a black leukemia of stars"
my soul turns in on itself
far more lonely, far more sickly in spirit.

Above, the same desolate landscape
of your dark isolation,
and below - blacker landscapes of black!

Neither the far-off cry of love
nor the nostalgic come-hither of death
disturbs anything within me any longer.

... And only the relentless light ray of lucidity
stabs through, colder, even colder, without mercy
without doubt, without hope, without even a shiver!

Nichita Danilov
*translated by Adam J. Sorkin and Cristina Cirstea
Born in a remote village somewhere in the North
Yaro
Where the fulanli herdsmen twirl sticks as they guard cattles
Yaro
Makes one remember that boy in the bible who tended to his father's sheep all day
Yaro
Life was rosy, bed warm and cosy.
Mother was called "Mama" and age stricken father was "abba".
I sometimes wondered who matchmaked them
Mother looked like she was babysitting the world
Father looked like he was going to die any minute
But they loved me and that was all my infant mind wanted
For you see I was nothing but a
Yaro.

I loved the mornings, when goats where being let out of sheds
And I ran around the huts in our compounds
In between my father's leg and over my mother's lap
Bowls of koko and ***** of kosai couldn't quieten me.
I never knew your breakfast of "Kellogs varieties" or
One apple a day, to keep the doctor at bay.
For you see I was nothing but a
Yaro.
But I was alright or so I thought.
The afternoons were spent chasing Hassan and Hussein
Those "wicked" twins who would not allow our chickens rest
My world was coloured brown, brown goats, brown huts
Brown sand, brown faces and maybe brown hearts.
Brown was the only colour in the world except of course
The sky,  which was blue sometimes and white at other times.

One day, when you were still in homes covered with zinc
Father pulled me out of bed and handed me over to some fierce looking men
Mother wouldn't look at me, Hassan and Hussein stood far away.
Father was the one holding me so I knew he was not dead yet.
He handed me my new pair of slippers and pointed to the men
"They'll teach you life," he said.
"But.." I replied only to be cut short by the sting of a slap
"You're nothing but a..."
"Yaro", I replied.
So this was it..I was leaving me behind.
Mother hid behind her layers of clothing like a coward
Father stood proud like an English man
I stood with all of them around me feeling nothing
But what my Yaro mind allowed me to feel.
 Feb 2016 Rheanna S
AJ
I feel so domestic.
I'm honestly craving that 40s housewife life.
Cooking and cleaning all day,
Modest lipstick and pincurls.
Constantly barefoot and pregnant,
Floral dresses and pearls.
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