I wish to be colorful and bright
Everyone would be pleased at my sight

I  desire to be touched by delicate hands
Little kids would be my friends

For once, I wish to be tied by a string
Giving me a sense of belonging

And when they'd let me free
I would sing a Carol of glee

Losing the control of my mind
I'd drift freely with the wind

High above the world I'd fly
And float between the layers of sky

When drained of all my energy
As tired as  I'll ever be

I'd lay flat on the ground
There I'd have a sleep profound

And when the stress would be too much
I'd have the luxury to burst

To fly too high and to be shattered too soon
In nutshell I wish to be  a balloon

When you said,
"You're the strongest person I've ever known"
I didn't understand.

When you said,
"You can go through a lot and still smile"
I didn't understand

And when you said,
"You can feel pain and agony and still stand up"
I didn't understand.

So you held my heart
and twisted it.

You threw away
all I loved,
broke them into pieces,
and never managed to pick them up.

You broke silence
with blood.
blood
that I now convert to
ink.

like you said,
I smiled through it all.
I didn't want to disappoint you.