I never truly believed in you
Maybe i did once
But now i know you
As the thing people hold on to
When there's nothing left

So here I am
With nothing left

The day is cold
But the water is warm
And I’ll sit for just one more minute
To hide out from the storm

For one minute more
I’ll lay in the tub
won’t think about stress
Just watch the water fill up

Just one more minute
I’ll feel my hands start to prune
But I won’t be worried
I’ll be out of the tub soon

Just 60 more seconds
But oh the waters so nice
Would it be so bad
If I did my one minute twice?

I could lay here forever
And forget all of my troubles
If I could only stay here
And get lost in the bubbles

They’ll tell me to leave
That my water bill will soar
But what’ll I care
On my own bathroom shore

For just one more minute
I can fake my bliss
Because really
How could it get much better than this

I know this water
It’s safe and secure
But the world outside
I can never endure

So I’ll lay in the bath
To evade my self doubt
And sit in the water
Until the water runs out

I hate the way that you’ve stained me
Because i love you so much
And yet in my deepest love still
Comes the broken promise of your mistake

You taught me how to love
How to fight for a compromise
Yet in the sidelines
You showed me what it means to betray

It burns deep like frostbite
The second that i think that it's gone
I find yet another place where you stained my life

I am crying
I am broken
You broke me

What hurts the most is how easy and mindless it was for you
A simple act that rests in your memory
Yet does not touch the root of your being

Here I am in the aftermath
I'm scared to be loved truthfully
I know it's all cliche
But it's the truth

I can't help but back away
And i think that's because of you

I imagine a world
where i go to my cousin’s wedding
And we all play pictionary
As the sun sets on the farmland

I imagine a world
Where facebook isnt a meeting place
And the photos are meaningless
Because the people are there

I imagine a world
Where the home videos arent a substitute
For the memories of a child
And the family that they love

I imagine a world
Where my aunt doesnt cry
When we leave her house
Because she knows we’ll be back soon

I imagine a world
Where hugs arent so tight
That your breath is stolen
Because youre afraid to let go

I imagine a world
Where relationships have permanence
But i know that wont happen
So my imagination is there

Of Gray skies
And midday naps
You share none of the qualities

Instead,
Favor the hurting sun
And late night mascara runs
That bring my eyes to close
And teeth to bare

Of burning rage
And happy contention
You always choose the former

Because what is the purpose
If not to leave
In complete ecstasy
Or an incomplete desire
For something more

You are the black and white
That sinks deep in the spine
And latches on
To a mindless dream
Or sensible nightmare

If love is the gun
You are the sulfur
Or the ignition
The fire

With burning eyes
And a steel set mind
There is nothing
That can stop
You

Like the stars you tempt me
Silver breath like moonlight
On my child wonder eyes
And yet, the race is never won
Or lost

A constant slow jog
You give cardio a run for its money
Build up my endurance
And maybe one day
I'll have the courage to sprint

You tell me that authenticity is my virtue
But still my true self is never what you need
So you tell me instead that my voice is beauty
And now I can't let even a word escape

The Bittersweet reality is that
You dont know what you want
But then again
Neither do I

So we continue this aimless jog
Together
The horizon a reflection in your eyes
And mine

An unattainable goal
But it still seems worth it
My legs burn and my lungs ache
I have stockholm syndrome
The race is my captor

I have come to learn
With each passing second
That the stars themselves
Are not so tempting
At all

It is the miles
Between the earth and infinity
That creates
The fatal attraction

It's the poor man’s love
But it satisfies my runners high

So let's toast to never winning the race
And always chasing the horizon