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 Nov 2017 Alyssa Nichole
we are fire
i am the orange ember, the coldest part of the flame
you are the white hot tip of at the head of the match head
it sometimes flickers blue

you are blue
i hate blue, i always have
i am red
making purple sounds like a delightful endeavour
but i am reminded of the love bite (why are they called that)
that you left
it was purple, it hurt for weeks
it turned green

i hate you.
i hate blue.
i hate the white flame.
 Nov 2017 Alyssa Nichole
My love for you
It's hideous
You are an angel from above
I'm the devil from below

You never would've notice me
And probably never should
But you see I'm as greedy as the devil
I will want more than given

You who are the light
Is bright for me in the dark
I wish for you to love me
And be able to be your equal

But I should have never crossed your path
I dirtied the light
Something like me should've never touched

You screamed to my face yelling
Go away
Maybe if I died will that soothe your pain?

I should grant your wish
Maybe then you will think of me more
I just hope you know that I love you
And that I'm a disgrace
I took your wings and bounded you

I know for a fact that it will heal
You beautiful wings will once again appear
Don't worry I'm nothing compared to you
My death will be nothing but a lullaby to you
I wish you good luck with life and all
I love you so much that I will fall for your part
You can fly once again that's all that matters
I would give my life to see yours fly higher

I love you so much and that does not matter
As long as you succeed in life is all that matters
So I bid you goodbye forever
Now I will forever be nothing but a forgotten memory.
 Nov 2017 Alyssa Nichole
It's been fourteen years since the fire in my eyes started to ignite.
Everyday is a different battles that I have to fight.
Words are the guns that would **** me if used right.

'Lil ol me would never put up a fight.
So of a sand bag taking punches,
Every punch being taken rips the bag , letting presious sand flow out.

Being a new solider in war where veterans surround and judge your every move,
will constantly break you down.
Pushed around for not knowing better.
To be used until your no longer useful.

Sooner or later the fire burning in my eyes, will die out.
My will is what keeps it alive, but once it runs out
You'll never hear a sound escape from my mouth.
 Jul 2017 Alyssa Nichole
I've got so much feelings lock away.
I use a smile on my face,
To hide the truth hidden away.
Deep down,
My feelings are going to burst.
My heart torn to pieces.
Each fragment lost in space,
Floating in this air we breath.
I think I'm lost.
Can you relate.
Been broken so many times
I think I've gone insane.
You've always made me sad,
And no matter what
you make me go numb.
Frozen still,
you take a hammer
Then smash away.
Like ice I dissipate.
When it's time don't try to save my life cause,
I'm so tired of this horror they call "life"
This goes to all the depressed teenagers out there just like me. I'm letting you know you're not alone.
 May 2017 Alyssa Nichole
I hate people who act like they care.
I hate people who were never there.
I hate people who fall for
Someone they can't have.
I hate people who can't bring themselves
To heal themselves.
I hate people who can't express themselves
I hate people who can't speak out loud.
I hate peoples who can never be themselves.
I guess this means I hate myself.
 May 2017 Alyssa Nichole
Daddy hates me
Mommy doesn't want me
Sister ignores me
Brothers don't know me
No understands me
I'm so deprived of love
No one said they love me
Nor do I love them
Sometimes I feel like
I just want to belong
But no loves me.
 May 2017 Alyssa Nichole
 May 2017 Alyssa Nichole
I wonder what it's like to have a dad
Do they say I love you every night?
Would they kiss your wounds
and heal the scars?
Would they protect me from all harm?
Would they say they want me?

The dad I know doesn't want me.
I think he hates me
no... I hate him
He was never there for me.
He never told me he loved me
with all his might.

He has another young
not from my mum.
He says he loves me,
but it would seem those words
were never meant for me.
I don't need a dad. I've been doing just fine without one.
 May 2017 Alyssa Nichole
You've been living for years,
but for all those year you couldn't see
You see neither the world nor me
This world is so beautiful
So wild and untamed,
but you're to blind to see

After all those years you've been living
Still you couldn't see
The beauty of this world
How it was the birth
of wildness and the free

Yet you still say it was born
Only for our use and our orders
So you call me blind
For not seeing what it's worth,
but the worth of this world is priceless
If you can't see then how
Am I the blind man
When the only person who's
truly blind is you.
 Apr 2017 Alyssa Nichole
"you're depressed"
they say.
"you won't go to class
you won't eat
all you do
is sleep
you're depressed"
they say.
"i'm surrounded by failures"
he says.
dad, it's not my fault
i don't want to go
"i'll have to think about this all day"
he says.
me too
"i have psychological stuff wrong with me
from trying to deal
with all of this
the least you could do
is go to school"
he says.
i can feel the slam of the door
in my ears
"you're disrespecting me"
he says.
i told my bestfriend
that i'm not eating
not sleeping
or maybe sleeping too much
i told her
i blacked out
lost all sense
of hearing
fell down
"you're depressed"
they say.
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