A family friend recently
Gave me a Pillow
That I thought was so comfy.
She said "Please get this **** thing
Off my couch."
And I proudly accepted.
I brought it home, cuddled
Put my face to it's round corner
And breathed.
The smell this pillow Gave wasn't too Familiar, no.
It smelled like family movie nights,
Eating at dinner tables.
It smelled like missing a sibling,
But knowing they'll be home when you get there.
It smelled like affection from a tired mother, And falling asleep on her chest.
The smell, not so familiar
Sent me chills
Because the round corners smelled like Everything I crave.
The soft, tender touch of a hand,
And knowing it's not of judging intent.
The smells upon this pillow
Reminding me that
I don't have a way to satisfy my
Craving.

In a moment when
You realize you would
Give your life for someone
Just so they could live,
You realize you can't.

Does the sun shine after the rain?

I want to,
But I won't.
I need a
Little smoke
But I won't
Cause gettin' it
Means getting up
And once I'm up
My world just flips
Right back down
As I fall too
Into a thousand curtains
Hiding me from what
I want to see
A window where
It's warm outside
But pressing my cheek against
The fabric seems to be enough
I've got to run
But I walk
And the talk of something new
Brings hope for something worse
And confidential lullabies
Sing me to sleep tonight
I'll call you on the phone and say
"I'm good, what about you?"
And you'll say "Good"
And we'll talk for hours repeating same lines
And avoiding the part where you tell me
You are driving to clear your mind
Cause bruises stay sore
And you never tell me anything anymore

There's a few ways of living
I don't like to live
This
Way
If living like this means
Laying on the couch
Pitying myself
For all of my problems
Then I don't wanna live
This
Way
I've got a drink in my hand
And whiskey in a bottle
Tiring myself
I'm too tired to swallow
If whiskey is my pride
Then I swig the whole bottle
Tastes so good but I'm
Too tired to swallow
I don't wanna live
This
Way
Well like they say
You need to change yourself
I want to live
That
Way