slowly retreating into a previous shell
tearing off painted on skin to reveal fragile vulnerability
taking its place on my face
straight lined apathy mixed with sorrow replacing
bright, faked smiles covered in exhaustion
it feels too much--is it time to stop pretending?
as winter turns to spring
the world is blooming in newness but nothing has changed in my mind
progress is turning backwards,
i'm undoing myself all over again
wrists stained with marks of harm and
bottomless eyes filled with nothing but tiredness
my depression floods the shore with its darkness
sweeping away sleep and love
self-care and memory fades
this episode will pass eventually but
if only i had someone to help me
swim through the waves
and away from the swiftly moving tides of insanity.

Oftentimes
out of ****** dreams
when night glides into dawn,
I awake  hungry for your poetry:
I salivate on your  words
savouring  each syllable
melting  on my tongue .

Oftentimes
when I crave virginal lyrics
I read anew your tropes:
I revel in their creativity
letting all they reveal
inspire  me completely.

Oftentimes
I imagine your noble heart
I feel it pulsate upon each page:
in unison with each beat,
I am borne away in the flow
of poetry, beauty, time and love.

TOBIAS

Do you think
There's
a reason
As to why the Sky
And
The Ocean
The two biggest things
In existence
Are Blue?
Maybe it's to remind us
That Blue
Isn't
Just a word we use
When we're feeling
Small.

-G.E.T

I want to describe your eyes the way a poet can describe the sea
Though I am no poet
I am just me

the sun
sitting
silent
but
waiting
for
the
blue eyed
dawn
to arrive

1
Dearest blue,
Time cannot replace
Time cannot heal
All I can do now is feel,
Feel the weight of your laugh
At 2 AM
Feel the brush of my cry
And how you held my hand.
Dearest blue,
I cannot forget the way you sound
But I can forget that awful way you were found.