Knock Knock Knock
On my trailer door.
More work to be done, I'm too sore and too tired to do more.
A little young lady stood there, her face painted white.
What was she doing out here in the middle of the night?
Long Teal hair framed her face.
but why was she here, she's a little out of place.
Pink hearts were painted on her cheek bones.
I invited her in
it was stupid.
I was feeling so alone.

"How do I join the circus?"
she asked.

"Well you already look the part"
I said gesturing at her Pink face paint hearts
"How old are you little Miss?"

"Seventeen today"

"Are you serious about this?"

"Yes, Sir I mean business, okay?"

"Are you aware you're under age?"

"Who else but the circus would take a runaway?"

"I bet your parents are missing you."

"Yes, I'm sure I'm greatly missed, that much is true."

"Then what brings you here?'"

"I want to join the circus haven't I made that clear?"

"Why would you want to be here and scoop elephant dung? Look at you, Under all the make up you're most likely beautiful and Gosh, you're so young."

she wrapped her arms around me I was breathless from how tightly she clung.

"Mam, what are you doing"

"listening to your heartbeat."

"what's it sound like?"

"Like life, it sounds like life. I'd give anything to feel alive."

"What's wrong with your life what about your family and your friends?"

"I'm misunderstood by them, and the torture never ends. I know it sounds funny since I'm dressed like a clown. But that's all I've ever been to anyone. A joke, never taken seriously. Maybe they were Right. Because for me, being a joke just comes so easily."

"come on lets wash your face off, Let me see the real you."

She wouldn't stop holding me she said, "I just want to feel you."

I shook her off and took her hand, led her to the sink. In a strange way this little lady felt like some sort of missing link.

"What makes your heart beat?"
She asked as I was washing off her mask.

"What a peculiar question for you to ask."

"It's just my heart keeps beating, but for no one. I have no one."

I layed down the rag when I was done.
her beauty was unbelievable.
She was God's masterpiece and I was his scribble.

"I don't know what my heart beats for.
But I know it's skipping beats for you Mi Amor."

"So you'll let me stay here? You'll let me be a circus clown."

I tilted up her chin so she'd stop looking down.
"I'm not denying you the fact you make the birds in my rib cage sing.
But, listen to me. you need to go on home now Darling."

"What's that? I've had many houses but never a home.
Please, I'm begging you don't make me go.
I'm all alone
I ran away to join the circus don't you understand?"

I tried to calm her down as I took her by the hand.
"Cant you see that this is wrong? You've run away to join the circus but you don't belong here.
You've runaway to join the circus
But you're not a clown my dear.
I understand that you've run away and your not looking back.
You've run away to join the circus.
How about, instead, you run away with me. We'll follow the train tracks. It will come easily."

We've made a life for ourselves now, one not run by fear.
But every night I wash off her make up and remind her.
"You're not a clown my Dear"


© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn