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It's not a poem about suicide
It's a cry for help
But help doesn't come with instructions
So we're all sitting here
Trying to figure
...
Just trying to figure
How to be helpful
Helplessly
Please mister,
Don't try to save me
I'm not your damsel in distress
I'm a kick *** vaginad gladiator
Who happens to be having a bad day
I like everything about you
All I know so far
I feel your presence on this Earth
Exactly wherever you are
Your humor
And humanity
Such a huge turn on to me
I'll probably never tell you so
I'm not sure that you need to know
Telling you might change our way
A lot to lose with just one say
 Feb 2018 Chandni
Fireflies
I miss the younger me, she who was comfortable wearing whatever she liked.
I miss the younger me who believed in prince charming and a heartfelt love.
I miss the younger me who craved to grow up and make my own choices.
I miss younger me who was allowed to cry when she fell down.
I miss the younger me who found everything interesting.
I miss the younger me who had hope for a better and brighter future.
I miss the younger me.
 Feb 2018 Chandni
Useless
Im fine.
 Feb 2018 Chandni
Useless
I'm fine.
No really,
I promise.
There's nothing wrong
There never has been.
You worry too much
I'm just having a rough day.
Then
As my open casket is cried upon
My pale, emotionless face
Conveys the reasssurance,
"I'm fine."
 Jan 2018 Chandni
vanessa ann
this is a tale
of two star-crossed lovers
with a love so powerful
they tainted the heavens
with bursts of colours

they were never meant to be;
mischievous little kids
finding love in sinful glee
in laughter, between dreams and reality

and though it was lawless,
they found solace
because in every prison,
they found a rhyme and a reason

but even for a love so great,
they could not escape
the fates’ wrath and envy

destiny pulled on their threads
cut them loose, thrusted them into misery;
for their memories were wiped clean,
but feelings remained as strong as they had ever been

the boy exiled in a far off land
across the pacific sea
the girl trapped in her need to break free
in a realm both boring and bland

ensnared in a labyrinth of woe
the lovers yearned for anything—
for something, for someone,
to obliterate this endless longing

the gods answered them
in the form of two loved ones
polished in every edge,
a perfect someone

but perfect felt too perfect
and not perfect enough
to fill up the hole
left by a perfectly imperfect

until one day the gods whispered
for the winds to push the two
and the birds to tug at their sleeves
over mountain and sea
even through the darkest valley
so their paths would finally meet

and so they did.

in the flurry of a moment
a pair of brown eyes met
and time was frozen
once more

the two stared intently
as if remembering a broken melody
a lost childhood song
branded as a wrong

the birds fluttered and flew
taking the cursed red fibre
snipped them in two
and the lovers felt all the lighter

it was the girl who spoke first:
“**** the stars.
i don’t want perfect,
i want you.”


eyes dazzling, the boy nodded:
“we’ll invert the universe—
the night sky a blank white
the stars pitch black
the earth moving in reverse”


the fates saw and surrendered
as the stars began to wither
for this love is love
in all its splendor

so the lovers walked away with a promise
under their breaths, they both swore:
“i lost you once,
but nevermore.”



they say no one can rewrite the stars,
so i propose we orchestrate supernovas.
 Jan 2018 Chandni
abby
Never enough
 Jan 2018 Chandni
abby
Why is it that
this present moment
is never enough
Who you are
Where you are
What you have
is never enough

It’s as if every day
we wake up saying
“If I could just be that,
If I could just go there,
If I could just have this,
then I’ll be happy”

Yet this allows us
to sabotage our ability
to feel content
in the present
To look around
and grovel in the beauty
of progress and growth
that gets us through
each passing day

It’s hard to not let the yearning
for an unknown future
overpower the appreciation
for today
But maybe if I open my eyes
a little wider
and open my mind
a little bigger
every day
I won’t always be waiting
to be happy
I’m not waiting for the confetti to fall
Sometimes you open yourself up to a person because you feel and believe that they're different and maybe this time they won't break your heart and that your love will be requitted. So you go out on a limb and open up so much of yourself to this person. Things that you're afraid to tell others about because of fear of being judged or rejected. But there's just something about this person that allows you to tell them everything. You become so comfortable in the presence of that person that you openly admit your flaws, you don't hide it. You just completely lose yourself in love and in the thought and concept of being loved, of being in a relationship and of being with someone that you can be yourself with. The idea of that person just completely excites you and everything about them makes you happy. Seeing them and hearing their voice just helps you in an inexplicable manner and being with them is an emotion of complete comfortability on its  own. You learn to love this person and you accept their flaws and differences. You accept how they might not necessarily love eating McDonalds as much as you do or they are crazy about sci-fi movies where you can't even get yourself past watching a chick flick.
But that's just it, you don't mind.
You don't mind because love is about sacrifices.
Its about sacrificing your weekly episode of The Vampire Diaries to watch the most recent sports updates.

Because you'd rather lose the argument than to lose the person. You'd sacrifice a part of your daily routine all for love. The worst part is that nothing is guaranteed. You're not guaranteed how long you will be in a relationship with this person. You're not guaranteed complete happiness and you're not guaranteed that things are going to be perfect. You just have to trust this person and have faith. Believe the best and hope that everything will work out for the. Best. Believe that even if you break up with this person, that you're going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok, and that new beginnings are perfectly acceptable. Believe that you're going to overcome heartbreak of any kind. You just have to believe that someone out there is looking for someone like you.
What others see Wrong in you just might be the exact thing that will make someone else fall in love with you. And you need to be realistic. Not all relationships last forever. Some relationships are there for lessons and experiences. So that very person that you completely open yourself up to, can break your heart. It could be during or even after the relationship.

But its all part of life I guess. You'll never know how to love someone wholeheartedly if you haven't been hurt before. You just have to turn your heartbreak in to something positive, make the most out of your situation. See the light in the darkness. But learn to deal with things too. Find closure in what happened to you and don't leave a relationship with unfinished business. Because unfinished business will have to be finished sooner or later, and I think sooner is better. Allow yourself time to heal too. Opening yourself up to someone that much can hurt you a lot, and everything you had with that person will be completely lost in an instant. And you're gonna need to come to terms with that. Remember that what's meant to be , will be.

Love, is a complicated thing, and you're never quite sure how things could possibly turn out to be. You're just gonna go out on a limb each time hoping for the best and patiently waiting for your happily ever after with a special person.
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