Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Nov 2015 Sin
Sinex
It was the fear.
The fear that I wouldn't ever feel again.
The fear of when I lay my head on the pillow,
the feeling of nothingness would swallow me whole.
The fear that when I opened my eyes
I would have to bask in another daydream of nothing.
The fear that my heart would stop beating and my soul would dry up.
The fear that I would have to live in
this cracked casket I called my being.

It was the fear that I would awake to a broken compass and
yet another forgotten quest.
The fear that sleep has forgotten my name and awakening has become my lover.
The fear that this insomnia has become my best friend.

I do not feel better or worse, I just feel
nothing.
You waste your time with concerned comments and affection,
yet you forget that this shield of nothingness that surrounds me,
is only permeable to the unwanted and unuseful.
I see all my surroundings,
hear every whisper, laugh and cry,
taste every salt and spice,
yet my own hand still feels foreign against my face.

I wonder what anesthetic has slipped through my grasp?
but only then do I realize that this aura of nothingness, like a water-tight seal, sticks to me like another layer of skin, trapping me in this puppet which has long since  forgotten to frown.
That sparkle in my eye is not real happiness.
but the dams which stop the tears from flooding my cheek
in fear that they may carve canyons deeper than the secrets which birthed them.

It looks normal on the ouside,
I made sure of that.

But the inside.
the inside.

Have you ever felt your heart beat ice through your veins?.
Have you ever been repulsed by your own body?
Ever scared of what's in your own mind?
Have you ever feared looking into your own eyes?
Have you ever seen someone embrace you with that fake worried look?
Have you even felt scared to ask for help?
Have you ever felt more than the dumb
touch of
Nothing

-Sx
This was very hard to write about
Sin Nov 2015
Grey skies where no light shines
A lonely star sits and waits
Knowing soon it will be time
For its glow to really shine

But the heavy grey didn't budge
It covered all the little star loved
And grew darker as the time did pass
Angry at the little stars lust

Clouds and thunder gathered now
And the little star shook and cowered
But lighting up his little world
Knew that soon he would be proud

Don't forsake my anger star
Roared the grey unforgiving boar
You shall never shine on one
I'll block the stars the moon and sun

The little star closed his eyes
And preyed so hard with all his might
That he would be seen one day
By the eyes of  a loving caring way

And just when it seemed so bleak
Another star did just peak
At the grey surrounding one like him
And called to all the stars within

With all their might and glowing power
All the stars lit up in a shower
Of light that even old grey couldn't fight
And scared him of into the night
Sin Nov 2015
She held me closer than life itself
Arms caressed my shaking body
For until now I only dreamed of love
In some old downtown hotel lobby

The busboy held the lift doors open
And my legs carried me on
With her still holding me
Hoping that today wasn't gone

This hotel of love for all that stay
Opens to all lone hearts
With dreams that climb way up high
And sleep upon the stars
  Nov 2015 Sin
Chalsey Wilder
"Go ahead be a snitch
You'll get more than one stitch
This time, *****."
._. My aggressive side.
  Nov 2015 Sin
Cat Fiske
I have no sense of pride
when I wake up each morning
to get ready for school.
I do not wish to be here;
not because
I just don’t want to go to school
like most kids,
It’s because I myself
and so many others
have felt what it feels
to be victims here inside these schools.

When you're a victim
you face a fear of similar acts
repeating again,
it's like waking up
and expecting someone to punch you
and knowing you can avoid it.
school is like the punch,
and we show up each day,
waiting for the punch
to strike us down,

we could avoid it
by not showing up,
but we have to show up,
so there's no way out
of the fear.
When you're a victim
of verbal abuse
you never know when it's going to strike,

when someone speaks to you
you're left on edge all the time,
when it happens due to
staff and students
nothing seems safe anymore.
You lose your trust,
you lose your friends
you lose your freedom of safety.

Sadly, most of the time
when someone becomes a victim
of verbal abuse,
the teachers causes it to occur
for two reason;
the first,
because they allow it to happen
and second
the worst
they do it themselves
to the students.

In the classroom
you're there to learn.
No wonder students
have picked-up it's allowed
to put down someone
for being different in any way.
If we learn from our teachers,
and they have taught their students
it's okay to put others down,
how do you blame the students then?

How can you blame students
for learning how to harass a kid
if a teacher single handedly
gave them permission?
When they were being mentored in
the act of putting down,  
instead of raising someone
who was a little weaker up?

How can you undo the damage
put onto the victims
who no longer want to walk into school
but still do each and everyday
because
they have to?
How can you deny a kid
their right to sit in guidance
instead of go to that class
when they are being mistreated
and harassed?

How can you Punish these kids
with detentions
when they have been through worse punishment
than you have the power to give out
with a yellow slip?
When they all say
“it's my word against an adults”
when I’ve heard
the same cries and tears
poor out of girls and boys
who hate it here
because they feel their voices
are unheard,

there issue has never been handled right.
“I reported the teacher
and it's like nothing happened
and only made my time
in that class worse”
“They told me I can't
report the teacher
and I have to report
the students,
How do I report
almost all my class?
someone or probably everyone
will give me a problem
when they get back?”
How do you honestly solve that?

You can’t fix the damage that has been done.
The faculty here
has put students
against students
while they sit back for their amusement,
its sickening
that we allow schools
to partake into such crimes,
To allow Faculty
to insult individual students,
based on their biased opinions
on their Ethnicity,
Religion,
Gender,
and Disabilities.
This is considered a Hate Crime.

Schools Supporting Hate Crimes
and doing absolutely nothing
but skating around the issue
as if that will stop
the appalling act
from happening.
Fooling Around,
to Teasing,
to Playful Jokes,
to Hurtful Ones,
To Insulting Ones considering to be bullying,
Than lead to the start of Harassment,
and Verbal abuse of an individual,
That Can From there,
only move forward
unless the victim is removed
from the environment,
to becoming a Hate Crime.
Hate crimes, how they cycle through schools, and how usually nothing is done.
Sin Nov 2015
Empty days just lay around on folds of wasted time
Next page