Vanilla

Vanilla Jan 2018

As a new year begins
with my past, I depart
and I start to think
of those things that pulled me apart
Like those things that pulled us apart
No more You & I
That's heartbreak
and the pain I, still to this day, am trying to shake
Just the thought of it makes me want to cry
I want to start this year with a jumpstart
And maybe next time I'll think twice
and think of the price I'll have to pay

#newyears #heartbreak #alone #lonely #heart #love

Vanilla Dec 2017

Only for a moment

We lasted 20 minutes
As I held you in my arms
You looked at the night sky
As you get lost in the stars
I get lost in your eyes

#love #alone #lonely #heartbroken #heartbreak

Vanilla Dec 2017

Gone

Como pega la soledad
Cuando no hay alguien
Para con quien disfrutar
Cuando antojan labios que besar
O cabello que cariciar

I just remember those nights
When all I could do was hold you tight
And just get ****** into the black holes
That you call eyes

#spanish #love #heartbreak #alone #depressed

Vanilla Oct 2017

Forget It

Forgiveness
It's Non-Existent
I'm Heartless & Carless
You're Hurt & Torn

Now I can't sleep
Thoughts of you on my mind
Pillow flooded with regret
and I'm drowning

The fragrance you loved,
to me now stinks
and the scent of betrayal in the air
it really ******* stinks

I opened my mouth
and didn't think
I said words
I didn't mean

I'm sorry
That I hurt you
It just felt you didn't care about me
the way I cared for you

#alone #sad #love

Sep 2017

jean

These Broken Things

I tend to love
broken things.
And sometimes, I get broken
by the things I love.

Vanilla Sep 2017

Lost

I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know where to go
Full of anger
I'm rotting
The one person
I thought was there for me
away from me,
She's running
I didn't see this coming
The heartbreak
of a friendship
its frightening
This feeling of
Abandonment
so familiar
It kills me
Just **** me
I would rather die
Than to feel this pain
Its better than being alive

#sad #alone #abandonment

Sep 2017

Grace Darling

the problem with feeling

sometimes i feel too much
sometimes i feel too little
i wish i could stay in that happy place
that lies right in the middle

when i feel too much
it's a torrent of emotion
a downpour of epic proportion
and i pray for it to end

yet when it does i don't feel enough
i'm numb, frozen, depressed.
I then pray for this to end
and i'd do anything to feel again

so i'm stuck in this happy limbo
never feeling quite right
like goldilocks in the three bear's house
i can't sleep at night