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Maya Sep 2019
Time and space have driven you out my life and pushed you far away of my sight. I forgot the sound of your laughter, the heat of your presence and the way to your heart.

But if it’s all over, if everything we were is washed up, how come you fill my every doubt and carry my every thought?
How can it be done when I still hunger for your kiss and long for your touch?
How can it be done when your ghosts hunt me every night and your smell still lingers?

But as sure as I once was about the flood of our love, I am now convinced of our wreck.

And regardless how far we’ve drifted, I’m trying to believe in this world where a part of you will forever be a part of me, but how can I believe in other worlds when I find it a great effort to believe in this one?
Maya Sep 2019
Lock me out, keep me safe in a sealed room, because every thing in me is craving for you and I can’t keep away on my own.

And my love would you tell me, have you made peace with my choice? What place do I hold in your heart, is there any room left for me anyway?

And baby tell me you’re happy, tell me you’ve completely forgotten me; it would give me strength to turn my back. But for you to tell me you Love me, that you carry my memories everywhere you go, well you’ve captured my thoughts; you’ve ripped me with the biggest dilemma between right and wrong.

What if you knew the truth about what I’ve wanted to tell you, that I love you too and a thousand times I do, more than ever.
What if you heard my weeping, heard me screaming out your name, would you have come and eased my troubles?

What good will it do to me to wonder everyday where I might have been in a parallel universe? Would I feel anything more than envy or regret?

If I only knew that I’d be the reason for your tears I would’ve tried harder, I’m sorry I guessed it all wrong, and forgive me if it’s too late.
I think I chose the path that lead me to the most dreadful present.

But I don’t really know any better, if anything my sorrow isn’t misplaced at all and is just the trail to the master plan of happiness.
But again who am I to judge, who am I to say that your remoteness is the wrong door that I’ve opened?

What’s left of me when my eyes have dried out and I still haven’t found a meaning while I still wonder what if?

What if you’re the right choice, and I’ve been wrong all the way, how far would I be from destiny?
Should I be grieving to the words I’ll never hear again or should I long for those coming?
Should I keep regretting every dance we’ve missed or learn to accept this miserable fate.

My every move is based on what I call my path, my every judgment and my every word. I’ve been trying to convince myself ever since you left that it’s the right thing for me, that you only took half of me, a part I could build again so easily. But it is time I face the truth, it is time I realise that you left, you took every piece of my heart with you, and I’m left out here on my own, me, my poor flesh and my empty soul.
Maya Sep 2019
Torn

Between running to catch you
And keeping you safe in my mind

Holding you tight
And watching you from afar

Crying out my distress
And Praising your happiness

I love you so much
That I can not bear to lose you again
And even the thought that I might hurt you terrifies me

So it is so absurd to say
I love you so much
That I want you to stay away

— The End —