What if I'm shaped like a square
When the world is made of circles?
Should I smooth my sharp corners,
Or should I just add more edges?
Where do I learn to conform,
To fit in spaces that aren't for me?
Should I change to fit the norm,
Or create another, entirely?
How do I choose parts of myself
To keep, to let go, to borrow?
Can I retain my identity,
While evolving past tomorrow?

Keep it together.
Don't lose control.
Don't let go.
Calm down!
Don't lose it.
Hold. It. In.
Don't worry!
You're so blessed!
How can you worry?
What's there to worry about?
Breathe.
Deep breaths.
It's not working!
Is it working?
Don't panic!
It's just anxiety.
It's just stress.
It'll go away.
I can't do this anymore
Don't lose steam.
Relax.
What do you mean, "you can't relax"?
It's all in your head.
It's just self-pity.
It could be worse!
You're so entitled.
Don't let anyone know about this!
Don't make a sound.
I think I'm going crazy.
Just act normal.
Just act normal.
Just act normal.
If you act normal,
Maybe you'll start to feel normal?

Is it called drowning
If it happens in a pool
I chose to swim in?

Maybe there's no hope, too much time has passed
Whatever I started, never did last
Oh how I wished, I wished it would endure
Perhaps I did it with a heart impure
And now I look at the blank road ahead
Wanting to exist somewhere else instead
To retrace paths and restart, unseen
To come back feeling proud, with my conscience clean
But the laws of physics don't work that way
So if I have to live another day
I'll start again with no expectation
Maybe enjoy the process of creation,
Cast away the ropes that left my hands tied,
Be less consumed by the demons inside.
Let me forgive my mistakes, in the mind
Let me find the strength to leave them behind.

If I could reach inside myself
And remove all scars of the past
If I could erase every mistake
I wonder how long I would last
Before I begin to fade, dying away,
Withering into dust, no longer alive
Would it be better than who I am now?
If life is pain, am I meant to survive?

I'm not in the Olympics, or the WWE
Yet I fight my demons with each breath, daily
Sometimes I lose, I'm knocked out, I'm outdone
Sometimes I win, I can pretend life is fun
I wonder if I can ever tap out and leave,
If there's so much more that I can hope to achieve
Is it courage I'm seeking, or how to let go?
If there's an end to this, I guess I'll finally know.

Anxious all the time that this world isn't for me
Fearing failure with every opportunity
Racing heart, trying to breathe, to think, searching for air,
Agony, so many emotions, too aware
Intrusive thoughts, nothing makes sense, loud, amplified
Dying before death arrives, I'm a coward inside.