I lay my head on the concrete pillow..
Knowing it's another sleepless night..
Haunted with your eyes..my dearest love..
My worst enemy..
If passion was meant to be warm..
Then why is this cold dark void tightening my chest?

I lay my head on the stone pillow..
All I needed was two days..
For me to become an outcast..to hide under the sheets..
My anguished soul demands relief..
Crushed like the petals of a withered rose..
Slowly embracing decay..gladly welcoming death..
All it took was two days..
For me to reach the verge of insanity..
A shattered piece of glass..a train going nowhere..

I lay my head on the iron pillow..
In this mess of mine..nothing seemed so clear before..
How plastic life is..how phony friends are..
As I stare at the scarlet pool of blood on my iron pillow..
I realise it was you,my curse,who showed me..
That their smiles hide hatred..their embraces hide a knife behind your back..
That power is only for the ones who fear not killing to claim it..
That adulthood is a lie designed by governments..
To cage our sheltered whispers..
Uttering the words of peace and war..
To suffocate the memories of childhood out of our veins..
We can stay young forever,my sin..
Just keep dancing..and I'll stay mesmerized with my femme fatale..
Still out of my reach..

I lay my head in the wodden pillow..
Remembering the short time we had..
clenching to every moment..grasping every detail..
The your body sways..the sweet aroma of you golden locks..
my burning desire to taste the rouge off your lips..
How hard you tried..that lingerie you hide..red as the scarlet pool of blood on my wodden pillow..
Blessed is your dress..revealing what's hidden..a feast of beauty to my eyes..
And when you sat next to me..our hands inches apart..
So close..yet so far you were from me..
On that scorching day of summer..

I lay my head on the feather pillow..
The pool of blood is larger now..
the water tastes gloomy..sunshine brings sorrow..
Meaningless is the sound of snowflakes descending calmly on the ground..
Pointless is my dance..without a partner..without you in the crowd..
So I scream..as hard as my lungs allow..
Nothingness echoes back..the embodiment to my fears..
All it took was two days..
For you to live an eternity in my dreams..
But when my eyes open..
Without you..my endless regret..
Nothingness is my pillow..
void..plays the final sonata in my heart..

-Dear God..
Can you hear my prayers..
Or will my words be swallowed in the snow..
I always feared suffering in your endless inferno..
I can almost hear the screams of the afterlife..
Torture is the ultimate cost of sin..
-To you..Mighty Zeus..I pray..
With trailes of blood and tears on my cheeks..
Your presence fills my lonely days..
Your crystal-draped whispers give me a hint of safety..
Hell is only temporary..eternal is Heaven..
Tartrus is the devine punishment..
To the ones who refuse submission..
And Hades..is the land of lost souls..
-Tell me..Great Odin..
Can you hear the agonized screams of your loyal slaves?
Can you see them waging wars in your name?
Raising the black flags of destruction?
Or are you too busy sipping your precious nectar?
Our silence is not the answer..
We shall ascend to your Asgard..We shall break your throne..
Remember..Great Odin..
Ragnarok approaches!
Divinity is only temporary..eternal is Valhallah..
And injustice is a sin..punishable by death..
-Forgive me..Amun-Ra
I fear the darkness that is you..
I kneel before your divine image..
I tremble at the sound of your voice..
Redeem me..of the evil that is you  
From the wrath embracing my entity..
And reward me..with your resonating light..
Blood..is the cost of forgiveness..
-Dear God..hear me..
Whoever you are..
Whatever name you may hold..
I beseech your wisdom..
They see you in statues..in Heaven..in death..
I see you in the verses of the Bible..
The hymns of the angels..
The warmth of melody..
The scent of parchment..the softness of silk..
I see you in the parades of death..to our sacrificed martyrs..
I see you in her braids..her voice..
The dance we had..
You're the beats of my cold heart..
I ask no forgiveness..but I seek inception..
A chance to start over..
To fall in love once more..

The long-forgotten cigarette slowly eats from my fingers..
It's just me..a glass of whiskey..and a handful of stress..
To keep me up all night..
I ***** up all my memories..so there's nothing left but a white page of nothingness..
And I slice the anger out of my veins..
Instead I'm rewarded with warm..thick...blood
I step on the broken glass shards to escape my dark chamber..
And I think I must burry the dog lying in the corner for five days..
I try to embrace the grass that dwells outside for some rest..
Yet her screams keep following me..
Madly I'm running to the bathroom..
Relieved to see she was still swimming in her pool of blood in the bathtub..with my knife in her heart..
Oh! The joy I'm in.. seeing her with me at last..
In bitter and sweet..until life do us apart..
I can't stop laughing..I can't stop loving you..
Why won't you talk..speak to me!!
SPEAK TO ME!!

I remember that silence is your language..
So I bring a needle and thread..sew my mouth shut..
So I can speak your silence..love..
Oh! The anger is slowly draining from my veins..
So I lie next to you..how delicious you blood tastes!!
I fiddle with a fork as I'm waiting for my life..
Sticking it over and over in that funny- looking rat..
Oh! How hilarious his squeaks are!!
My head is lighter now..my vision..blur..
And I live..next to my pale beauty..
We live together as nocturnal animals.. silently wandering in the night of a bleeding moon..

I release a frosty sigh..steam rushes through my lungs..
As I witness the Christmas massacre..
Blood-stained snow..melting snow-men..
The silent carols of the dead tremble my entity..
Bodies stench of cinnamon..chocolate and snow..
Dying flames in the fireplace..burning Christmas trees..
The frozen night wind blows on my face..
Slaping me back to reality..

To my terror..I see you..among the carcasses..
Bathed in moonlight..
White as ever..cold as ever..my melting snowflake..
I remember our stolen lisses under the mistletoe..
How my icy fingertips turn to heat at your touch..
And I try to find sorrow in my heart..
But you would not feel bitter sadness..
If you never tasted the sweetness of joy..

I suddenly see a fat figure.. Wielding an axe..dressed in crimson red..
Surrounded with reindeer ghosts..feeding blood to his axe..
The damp darkness of the night shines his white beard..
So I run..as hard as my legs allow..
Leaving my snowflake behind..
Cold freezes my joints..devours my bones with its killing pain..
And I see a glimpse of a star..the day Christ was born..
I pray to God..to give me back my snowflake..
To bring back the flame to the broken fireplace..
Nothing answers..exept for the howling wind of December..
Gasping for air..I slip on the icy edge of the church floor..
Inside I see the joyful carols of Christmas..
Turn to screaming..blood..tears and snow..
I see the fat shadow approaching me..raising his blood-thirsty axe..
His beard smeared in the blood of my snowflake..
Tears turn to crystal in my sockets..
Heaven's light shines above..
Jingle bells..Jingle bells..
Screaming: ** ** **!
I died on a Christmas..with sticky blood-stained snow..