I was in love once.
But it was such a long time ago,
I've begun to wonder if it was all in my mind.
Yes, there's been others since then,
But they always end in the same type of motions,
It seems to me the strangest paradigm.
Always starting with a vague sense of hope
A longing to feel a way again,
But then simply failing most definitely.
The longing for the feeling I adore,
Overpowers the longing for another's mind.
I don't even know if my heart can still hold something of that capacity.
And what if I don't want it to?
Isn't it great to be free?
To leave all the cares behind, and live by the tide?
But wouldn't it be great to be free again?
To reside at the limit of happiness
Merely by being with that person you admire?
Even then, how could you ever know if he felt the same?
If a heart doesn't break even,
Surely it can't love equally either.
If my longing for him is greater than his for me,
What does that leave me to do,
Once his power is stronger than any other?
Or maybe it will never come to matter,
Because all these conflictions are secondary,
What I mostly fear would be much greater.
What if I can never feel that way again?
What if I've wore down my sensitivity,
And grown rock hard to the possibility of these feelings?
Maybe it's a lack of patience,
And maybe it's a complete inability.
And maybe I should just accept the reality that I may never fully connect with another human being.
Oh, what have I done to my heart.