So how can this make anything easier
Under country night sky’s brightly lit
Digital fire burns through the skin
And all that’s left is hollow bones, empty soul
Found a way to casually converse this illusion
Hoping for a place to make it through the night
Dance away, fall into a rustic hurricane
Never able to proceed, much obliged company
Shell of ourselves as I ache for this bar room fix
Its easy when the clouds have broken from the wind
These meager minds keep sleep a luxury
How do we move through these chemical days?
Keep a promise, keep the shadows at bay
Wash the courtyard, clean the masquerade
As these trucks pull up for blue collar hands
Those drinks need pouring, those heads need care
Shell of ourselves as I ache for this bar room fix
Its easy when the clouds have broken from the wind
Its easy when the distance between settles in
And when the dreary mornings speak uncertainty
Ready fuels and coffee made to play
All for not, the sun still shines away
Speculation masks an exchange for another day

I don’t know what’s wrong with us
One moment our love flows freely
Uninhibited by the negativity around us
But something happens and the dam bursts
Stress overwhelms and fear takes over
Fight or flight replaces our love
Anger tears through our smiles
I’m crying and you’re angry
I’m scared to say anything
Too much stimuli and I explode
A yell turns into a shutdown
GET OUT
I fight and I fight and I just want it to stop
So I give up
I tuck tail and I walk away
What else can I do?
My heart hurts, there’s a pit in my stomach
I could flood the Sahara with my tears
So much conflict and disturbance
I’m still quaking
I’m hesitant to walk away so I’m waiting
I guess that makes me even more pathetic
To be so weak as to hold onto something
That pushes me away
I just want to stay
I want our love to flow freely
Our smiles to cut through the anger
To replace it with something better

You say I don't try,
Well how could I try if I'm not even in the state of mind to breathe?
How could I try if my head is in the wrong space,
The space where nothingness prevails and I'm on a single track hurtling towards self-destruction?
How could I try if I'm so busy attempting to stay alive?
How could I try if all I ever feel is dead?
My emotions and thoughts swirl around so violently that it's like a hurricane in my head and it's all I can ever do to stay afloat.
It's all I can ever do just to wake up in the morning and go on another day.

But I can't tell you that.
If I told you that, you'd ask me why,
As if I need a reason that suits you.
As if all the therapy in the world could help and as if there's anything you could do to fix it when you know **** well that you can't.
As if it's just a simple little fix and pills will cure me,

But I can't tell you that.

I can't help but wonder
When toddlers trip and blunder
How we managed to ever survive

In their noggins the make
Of the brave Sir Francis Drake
The rest, accidental suicide.

As I sit here
And think
God, it seems like it's all I do
Maybe I need a break

But then me
My inner self
She scolds me
Telling me no

And so I continue
Wherever I may be
To think
Whether the thoughts be good or bad

I hate this
This awful feeling
Overwhelmed
That's what I am

Maybe I should destroy her
My inner self, of course
As long as it takes this
This cursed pain away

My archetypal anima
Could dream a billion dreams
Yet none elucidate my psyche’s
Shadow self-esteem
It yearns to be made whole again
Detaching from the soma
Yet can not mend the mandalas
That fracture its persona
From the superego servant
Of unconsciousness collective
To the individuation
Silent tyrant introspective
Still projecting as the pedagogue
The hero and the saint
But the mystic rebel overlord’s
This portrait that I paint
For I’m an evil genius author
Penning nurseries of rhymes
I am the psychopath symbology
Just read between the lines