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Lux Oct 12
I keep a burning version of you under my tongue.
I guess thats the thing about addiction,
A person can be rid of it for years
then relapse an any moment of exposure to their poison.
(That’s what loving you felt like)
7/2021
Lux Oct 10
-It’s sunsets with you, Maybe on the beach
-A playlist made specifically for watching the moon with you
-Patience
-Intoxicating nights of just nothing but our sheets
-Laughing on the couch while you play your music in the background
-Jealous remarks but knowing we belong to each other completely
-You singing (this will be my favorite I’m sure)
-Drunk and Morgan wallen
-Sarcastic use of my words that become your lingo too
-Words I wont be able to hold back
-It’s you playing guitar “somewhat okay” and me listening blissfully
-You and I on your bedroom floor
-5am and the sunrise from my window
-Eyes gazing into each other and not a single thing said
-A nervous first kiss
-Hands slightly grazing, Waiting for the other to hold on
-It’s you, anxiety filled but I still love you anyway
-It’s me, anxiety filled but you still love me anyway
6/19/24
Lux Sep 30
It's a Sunday morning.
I   am sitting by the window with the sun on my face and a good book in my hand. You're across the room in bed, about to wake up to a cup of coffee.
All the sadness is gone,
We are happy.
Lux Sep 24
I   will continue to write you so many ******* dead friend poems
I want to revisit the place where we all met
Time went by so slow at first but now,
You’ll be gone for more years than we had you.
Still, i think it’s needed to go back.
Nostalgic maybe.

Or maybe I’ll get there
It will hit me
I’ll try to smile and i will mean it but
It’ll also be sad and hard to remember
Maybe healing but ..

I  know,

You won’t be there
There’s no blood there
there’s no life there,
there’s no you there.
i  miss my best friend
Lux Nov 2020
Honestly I didn't know how
so many things could fit inside of me,
how so much sadness could be in my heart
how much rage and frustration could welt my soul
but I knew that they were wrong
and that not many could ever understand.

I talk about you,
I let balloons go
I write to you
I send letters into space,
I speak to the sky
Knowing you'll get it.
you always did. They say grief is just love with no place to go.. her name is sarah and beautiful souls are never forgotten.
Lux Oct 2020
The last time I was on this train it was a one way back to the city we hated the most, you were off fighting your demons and I was was here trying to forget.
You were everywhere I looked,
even on a bus ride into a town I knew you hadn't touched still made me feel closer because it was the shortest distance we had been in months.
I often wonder if the you are lingering somewhere inside a body you no longer belong to.
If getting on a plane to somewhere far and unknown was a way of escaping for you, I can understand that more now than I did when I was 18 . maybe you just figured it out before I did
10/31/15
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