The last time I was on this train it was a one way back to the city we hated the most, you were off fighting your demons and I was was here trying to forget.
You were everywhere I looked,
even on a bus ride into a town I knew you hadn't touched still made me feel closer because it was the shortest distance we had been in months.
I often wonder if the you are lingering somewhere inside a body you no longer belong to.
If getting on a plane to somewhere far and unknown was a way of escaping for you, I can understand that more now than I did when I was 18 . maybe you just figured it out before I did

I tried to recall your face again.
I haven't tried in such a long time,
I remember the frame being as familiar as the back of my hand,
the white of your eyes being too white, eyes like a sunset
how your smile took up your whole face
the faint sound of your laugh,
I always come up lost within your floating matter
which quiet frankly just doesn't matter anymore.
(at least it shouldn't)

I realized that this town and this state
is as hollow as the people who run it
and i am finally understanding
why it was so easy to leave
e v e r y t h i n g
and never look back