Lostling

Lostling 1h

As a child
I hid under my covers,
Fearing the monsters of the night
Lurking beneath my bed.

But now they live in my mind,
Crawling through the cracks,
Festering— even in the sun’s warmth.

No blanket can shield me.
No lamp, no lullaby.

I close my eyes
But still, they linger.

The worst monsters
Aren’t under our beds
But inside us

#night #dark #demons #fear #nightmares #anxiety

Lostling 2d

A Path Divided

If I betray my freedom
I betray myself,
Becoming a stranger in my own skin
Quietly echoing the voice of the crowd.
But if I betray the rules,
Break free and stray from the paved path,
I betray my comrades
I betray the people I lead

If I break free, I stand alone in exile
But if I conform, “I” do not exist anymore

#freedom #self #responsibility #conform #society #expectations #rules

Lostling 6d

Why?

There has to be a reason
Why I'm here on Earth,
And not in a world far away, where I can be anything more
More than a child who can do nothing but cry

Why am I here?

#questioning #reason

Lostling 7d

Useful

Use me
Hurt me
Abuse me
Exploit me

But please
Don’t toss me away

“I’ve already played with you for so long, let me play with my new friends instead.”
Words and actions, we were five.
I’ve feared replacement all my life
You gave me this trauma.

#used #worth #replacement

Lostling 7d

Crimson Stained Snow

Blades clash, shattering
Unspoken words, a sword falls
Silence, then weeping

Friends from different sides spar together for the very last time

Lostling 7d

I am Misplaced

I am not the black sheep, so why don’t I belong?
My wool stands out amongst the heard, a speck of dirt on a
pristine
marble
dress.
I am not flicked away, but forced into another’s coat
To match the sea of white.
I am a stranger in my own body,
A mess of shredded wool and yearning
Yearning for my home

“Return to home!” My soul does cry, I want to listen so. But my heart has sheep that it holds dear, refusing to let go.

#blacksheep #belonging #misplaced

Lostling Feb 23

I can never do anything right

Just when I think I’m clean,
The blood is on my hands again.
The knife clatters to the floor; I wish it’d stab me through my foot
Because you won’t let me apologise.
Can’t you see?
Atonement is the only thing that will cleanse these hands
At least till I fall again

No need for a knife. Paper cuts still bleed.

#mistakes