How she sat there
with movement in her head.
A churning of learning
the ways to get ******
and slaughtered by
other people's
sons and daughters.

And how I sutured a gust
of her brain exhaust
into my chest, into my lungs--
I breathed her like I was
******* the end of a
tailpipe.

Her hands ran like busted tires
as she massaged my temples,
revving her voice,
my ears on her
suicide door lips.

There is no green light
in her red light country.

if we lived in a castle
would you make me your queen?

if we were rain we would fall on deserts
the poor's thirst to quench

if we were acid
we would be corrosive,harsh and reactive

if i was the moon and you were the sun
i'd borrow your light and make us one.

Maybe if I wasn't so timid I'd have your hand.
Maybe If I was brave enough to crawl from  this front line trench I've dug  and cross the no mans land to your house I'd have your heart.
And maybe if I destroyed him in 10th grade like I thought I would he wouldn't be here to fight
And maybe if  I knew how to read you I might know how to respond... But I don't.
Im winging it like those 12 foot angels wings only I seem to see. And I know you don't.
But I've seen you carry the weight on your back like lead bars stuffed in your coffin. but sweet heart.
I love you
I truly do and although all I seem to do is second guess my ambition like alexander-the-not-so-great. I want to conquer your mind and your body like the romans who came after him.
So I'm sorry I'm not strait foreward.. And the path to my mind goes through my heart and the guide I suppliedkeeps stopping to rest.
But I'll say it.
Don't go
Don't go back.
Please stay. Stay right here with me. On the wrong side of enemy lines.
Sharing the wrong drink with the wrong man
Please stay.
One more sunset where I can call you mine...
Your all I want any more.
And maybe if you stay for 5 more minutes
Maybe you'll truely trip and fall
But I'll be here to catch you

I...
I'm .. I.. I'm sorry
please forgive me.
I don't know what I've done
but I think I broke you.
and I understand your life is a roller coster
and that Sometimes existing is too much of a weight to bear
And I get the fact your walk in closet Is  stuffed to the brim with
the skeletons of your past
And I understand. that those useless bags of flesh and bones keep trying to come back to life
and crawl out of the back door and into your mind
but I cant help feel that im to blame,
And I know im not..
but I think I broke you
and I know my well timed excuses threw a spanner in the  tracks of your roller coster
but I thought i was going o.k.
And I know the grip i have on you isn't deadly...
but ive realised that you are nowhere near mine..
you can walk away at any moment and im still the one at fault.
but I love  you
you cought me in both arms when The only other option was to land on my  face
so please dont let me fall now
all This time i thought you where a porcelain doll..
who knew i was made of craft paper

it’s swimming below the surface
and feeling your lungs fill with water
but trying to breathe anyway
it’s digging your own grave
and watching the dirt cave in
but not being able to stop yourself
from digging
it’s running uphill
and discovering at each peak
that the hill was simply a mirage
and a bigger hill lies ahead
it’s discovering you’re choking
but no one is around
no one can hear you for miles
it’s standing at the edge
of a bridge
with no one calling you
back

-*k.c.