You deserve more than ink scribbled on paper
Thoughts crammed in spaces
Black letters on a page
A heavy handed mass of words.

She extinguished the furnace of ashes that others had left smouldering in me for years.

Lesson one: give your heart to someone who gives theirs back. And hell she'll give you her heart on her sleeve, with a magic that allows you to conceive, real love, the kind that others dream of, the kind you look above and wish upon a star for, everything you wanted, she'll give you more.
Lesson two: find eyes that embody a maze that you could get lost in for days. And as you gaze at each other, you are no longer dazed by anxieties and caution signs because she reads through the lines and untangles and unwinds knots others have left behind.
Lesson three: lust is not love but when you find both, grab them tight. Because for the first time in your life you'll feel as though you got something right and as you see her in sight and she sets you alight with just one look, take note of the tattered heart she willingly took, the time she gave up to read into and not judge by the cover of your book.
Lesson four: always hold the door but never hold back. Hold the door for opportunity and unity in a way you could never construe existed, because within moments she'll have your eyes misted, your vision twisted, into the future, you see yourselves sharing, and those walls that she's tearing down will form new foundations for you to find your own ground.
Lesson five: tell her everyday how beautiful you think she is. Because with every day that passes, through each lens of her glasses she'll develop a tainted view and this time it's up to you to offer her your eyes, to help her see and realise, her beauty inside. Inside the body you adore, the woman you'd do anything for.
Lesson six: love is meant to last. So run her a bath, fill up her glass, do the dishes, commend her wishes, lay her fears to rest as she curls into your chest, calm the wars in her mind, undo and unwind with the love that you find in a fountain overflowing with her name, show her your game, not now but for forever, that whatever the weather, you will be there, show her you care and if you tried you couldn't care any more, tell her every day what you're grateful for.
Lesson seven: draw a line under the faults your find for she is only human too, let her know you love her through and through.
Lesson eight: show her. Kiss her, hold her, brush your fingers through her hair and stare into her eyes, as they sparkle and shine as the milk and honey on her lips and yours become entwined. For her make time, all the time in the world, because only once, will you find this girl, this lady, the one that you'll say, made you into the person you always wanted to be, who gave you eyes to see, only once will you find this lady, who will set you free, allow you to be all that you can be, and you shall do the same for her too, only once do you find the other half of you.

I can still taste you on my lips
Your sweet scent laced across my fingertips.
Honey dew gathering in the places that we kissed.

She ignited a fire in me
That I prayed
She would never extinguish.

How captivating it is
To watch the sun who was told she must love the sky, to fearlessly defy,
To fall to her knees,
Ignoring others pleas and
With all in sight
Kiss the earth goodnight.

So what is recovery?
Is it that tingle in your cheeks
When the corners of your mouth meet
Upwards.
Is it that sparkle in your eyes
Because they're no longer suffocated by your cries and you now have the potential to realise
You are strong.
Is it that glimpse of light, that for so long had been out of sight, that you cling onto tight, through fear
It's only temporary.
Is it rediscovering yourself, rebuilding your health and developing a new wealth
Of coping mechanisms.
Is it realigning the chemical imbalances in your brain, so you no longer feel insane, so there's not less pain
But a mind that can handle it.
Is it the glimpse in the mirror where you don't turn in horror but you greet and honour the person that you are.
Is it the fear, that's consumed you year by year, that's brought the end so near,
That starts to evaporate.
Is it eating a meal, and not having to feel like
You need to punish yourself.
Is it hearing voices, but no longer allowing them to dictate your choices,
Because they don't own you anymore.
Is it putting down the bottle, because you're fed up of the throttle
It had you in.
Is it the feeling when you finally win
Back your own heart and mind
When finally you look inside
And don't find
Darkness but light,
When the night no longer scares you
And the days you can finally pull through
Or is it simply a phase
A gaze at what could never be
For there is no clarity,
No prospect to be free
In chains and nooses
And scars and bars.
In bodies that fight to survive
Trapped inside a mind that fights to take our lives.

Some of us; shall never be undone
We fight a war;
That could Never be won.