I am smoke from a discarded cigarette.
I am a dogeared page in an obscure novel.
I am rain on the ocean.

I want to be a sunbeam dancing in a glass of pink lemonade.
I want to be a tall pine's love whisper to the silvery moon.
I want to be a baby's first smile.

I am the dark side of the moon.
I am a blank cartridge.
I am a penny on a train track, waiting.

I want to be yeast bread rising in a warm place.
I want to be newly poured concrete growing firm.
I want to be a toddler's prayer.

I am a schoolyard after recess.
I am a Saturday matinee.
I am mist dying in the mourning sun.
                    

I am darkness.
I wear the mask of sunny mornings
But dark shadows seep around the edges.

I am storm clouds.
I masquerade as blue sky days
But the cows out in the fields lay down.

I am a somber dirge
Though my speakers play a happy song
It’s always in a minor key.

I am tomorrow.
While I can’t untangle from today
I waft the scent of yesterday.
                     ljm

I cry for things I might have done
And who I might have been.

I cry for opportunities missed
And enterprise that failed.

I cry for hands I might have held
That somehow I let slip away.

I cry beause the time is short
With so much treasure left unfound.

I cry because it’s the only thing
That’s somehow left for me to do.
                  ljm

What’s the purpose of it all
It’s only raining dust and grit.
The sky is weeping spatter
And the only sidewalk is
On the far side of the street.

They shined up Highway 95
But out front here is nothing
But deep breaches in the tarmac
And anything that doesn’t hurt
Me manages to itch.

All the good stuff is locked up
In upstairs rooms down endless halls
Where something has been splashed
Across the carpeting
And the door is always padlocked.

The book inside is second handed
And it’s marked up in random places
That don’t align with what
The index says should be there
And the Ex Libris page is missing.

The day is pecking at its shell
Of hopelessness and need
In hopes of gaining freedom.
The prayer wheel is no longer spinning
And the crimson candle has gone out.

There are reasons for it all
It’s written up in Sanskrit ink
And plastered on the backyard wall
That keeps it all inside or out
And I’m stuck in the middle.
ljm

If you don’t know who’s side you’re on,
Come stand by me, it’s mine.
If you don’t know who’s right or wrong
We’ll sort it out in time.

If you don’t know what choice to make
For none of them look good
Come join me for convenience sake
It’s something that you should.

If you don’t know what you should do
Come sit by me and learn
I’ll tutor you the whole way through -
Teach you which way to turn.

I’ll walk with you along the way
I’ll even take your hand
I’ll tell you all the words to say
And help you make a stand.

If you will put your trust in me
I will not lead you wrong
I’ll give you power to be free
And make you fine and strong.

If you don’t know who’s side you’re on
It’s safe to stand by me
If you can’t tell what’s right or wrong
Just come and stand by me.
                   ljm

What would I do if I lost you?
Nothing much - things wouldn’t change-
I might wonder why the sun didn’t shine any more-
Or where all the crickets went,
But I would go on as usual
And not even notice the absence of gladness
Or all the dust gathering on my dreams.

What would I say if I lost you?
Nothing really - I’d make no comment-
Except on how raspy my song had grown-
And how dried up my pen had become.
Still I’d bump along same as always
And pay little mind to the paucity of laughter
Or the wetness corroding my cheeks.

How would I feel if I lost you?
No different - I’d be the same-
Oh I might pretend a bit more than usual
And invent a few things for myself,
But I’d get long quite serenely,
And never give note the casket
Standing ready to be my new home.
Ls

If you leave me
All the hangers will get tangled in the closet.
It won’t matter;  all my clothes will be on the floor.

If you leave me
The cheese in the refrigerator will turn green.
And the milk will soon be far too thick to pour.

If you leave me
The remote will only tune in somber shows.
That will be OK;  I’ll have forgotten how to laugh.

If you leave me
Dust bunnies will build a hutch beneath the bed
Where one forgotten slipper hides that I will never move.

If you leave me
The sun will shine on everything that’s not within my view.
I won’t mind;  my sunglasses will fool everyone but me.

If you leave me
Hummingbirds won’t visit the back garden any more
They’ll be blind to the red juice in the feeder.

If you leave me
I will build a house of memory and grief
And move myself inside and lock the door
                    ljm

I have a quiet lake of answers
For your raging storm of questions.

I have a placid summer meadow
For your hectic pace of living.

I have a waterfall of caring
For the times you feel unloved.

I have a purple sunset
When your world is without beauty.

I am a fresh baked cookie
When your soul is starved for love.
                      ljm

I don’t know where it went
  I just know it’s gone
    I don’t know how it happened
      I just know I did it
        I don’t know what it even was
          I just know I miss it
            I don’t know where to go to find it
              I just know I have to try
                             ljm

I seem to pass by largely unnoticed.
My foot leaves no marks in the sand.
I carry the burden unassisted
And do not receive thanks in the end,

The things I create are admired
But too often my name is detached.
I float through the view of so many
Who don’t recognize that I’m there.

A zephyr, a whisper, a phantom,
A shadow that fades with the Sun;
I’ve been and I labored and managed,
But few people know I was born.
ljm

Wandering lost and addled
In a tangle of unseen wires and buttons,
Tripped up by all that I don’t know
And mocked by the little I do
I stumble into yesterday
To find the reason I’m alone
With everyone around me.

Why they all know the magic words
And I don’t know my A  B Cs.
How did I, in my younger days,
Not learn that I would need those codes.
Didn’t I know the world would turn
And leave me stumbling behind
As I just sat writing poetry.
                                        ljm

One computer, two computer
Three computer, four
Shed a tear of happiness
As five comes through the door.

The last one was demented
Made life a living Hell
Devised new ways to torture me
And did it oh so well.

This new one is an iMac
Just like the one before
But maybe not as crazy-
I can’t take that any more.

The only thing I’m asking:
That it do as it is told.
Don’t make new rules in secret
Leaving me out in the cold.

Leave the curser where I put it
Don’t erase what I type in
Don’t correct my unique spellings
That is not a game you win.

Don’t crash just as I finish
Some complicated rhyme.
Erasing all my poetry
Would be a major crime.
ljm

A low-flying squadron of Mourning Doves
Swooped over the neighbor’s ten-foot wall
And strafed me with their grace and beauty
                                            ljm

A morning of overcast sky in Nevada
Is very like landscapes painted by El Greco.
Cobalt sky smeared with silver gray shadows
In a candy floss tumble of gunmetal clouds
Gives a subtle light that makes things mysterious
And creates a canopy of comfort for a winter day.
ljm

Everyone knows that roses have thorns
But must there be thorns on my daisies too?
Looking for beauty my fingers find pain.

Not every path needs to be level and smooth
But why must mine always be broken and steep
And why is the Sun forbidden to shine.

Where are the birds God promised to send.
Their music is healing and I am in need
But the treetops are empty  - I hear only pain

I once saw a rainbow where one didn’t belong
And took from it hope that all would be well
The last of that hope still supports me today.
ljm

They did it
A bunch of shriveled up old men
With shrunken *****
And withered hearts
Have proved to America
That it’s more important

To populate the world
With unwanted, unloved
Uncared for children
Who will be a burden
To society and the
Criminal justice system,

That their law is more important
Than to give a second chance
To a teenaged girl who
succumbed to the urging
Of her boyfriend for
fear of losing him.

That their law is more important
Than to give a mother
Of four, who’s IUD failed
A chance to raise those four
Without the need of welfare
And free school lunches.

That their law is more important
Than to give some solace
To the girl knocked up by her father
Or the woman brutally *****
As she walked home from church.

This ruling marks you all as thugs
Pompous, righteous hypocrites
Who all suppose that you can
Force your will on women by a law
That violates each tenet of the right
Of women to pursue happiness.
ljm

Building an inferno
Is a part time occupation
Finding retribution
Is a pleasant moment's pastime
Marrying the two takes more
Than just a pastor

Zeus is back from his vacation
And he wants a glass of water.

I don’t know how to not be an actress.
I have no idea how to be real
What is it I really am any time feeling
And what is it that I truly want to do.
I need to tear down the theatre curtains
And stand without costumes on life’s stage

What can I use to take off the makeup
That turns me into who I am not
That covers up the scared little girl
Trying so hard to figure it out
Aching to know what the real villain is
And finding a way to subdue it.

Sensing the final act has begun
And my script is missing those pages,
I vainly search back stage for a prompter
Or someone who knows if I exit stage left
And what the script says is my final line
And if Curtain Call has now been cancelled.
                    ljm

My rope is stretched to a single thread
How did all the woven strands dissolve
The wind is howling in the attic and
My guardian angel is on vacation.

The furies do a Samba in my cortex
And my feet can only do a do-si-do.
The doorbell plays Westminster Chimes
But only ghosts are on the porch.

That Other Place sneaks up to grab me
I’m never sure if I’ll come back
I speak to air and reach for nothing
As I realize that I am back.
I never plan to be there, instead of here
But the minute concentration lags
I’m living in another place and life
If only for ten seconds - an eternity.

I struggle to remember where I was
And what I said and what I did and
Who was there, and what we spoke of
But it vanishes to make way for here.

It leaves me puzzled and afraid.
It happens to nobody else
And I’m alone in stormy skies
Without a light to guide me.  

Am I crazy?  Probably.
What is this place I visit?
I think it’s called insanity
And soon I fear I’ll live there.
                ljm

Gently in your hand
My heart
Softly in my mind
Your will
Forever

Deep within your love
My own
You and I and He
Who made us one
Forever
        Ls

It may be time to go away
Too many cookies are uneaten
And a few are only nibbled

I baked all night for many days
And used up all my spices
But few customers appeared

I laid them on my very best tray
And priced them as a bargain
Now most of them are growing stale

I think it’s time to close up shop
The other’s cakes were obviously better
Their customers waited in long lines

It will be hard for me to stop
My hands are white with flour
And my apron’s tied so tightly

Still, no farmer wants to plant a crop
That never will be eaten -
Are cookie bakers not the same

Perhaps my wafers were too plain
And lacking decoration
I thought that flavor was enough

But recognition brings me pain
I felt my recipes were special
But everyone had better ones

It seems that I cannot sustain
The dream of being Mrs. Fields
When It comes to writing cookies
               ljm

Inside out
Collar frayed
Ragged at the hem
Stitches showing through the thin spots
The cloak of civiliztion needs a laundering.

Buttons missing
Flapping in the wind
Dragging in the rainy mud
Sliding off stooped shoulders
The coat of civility needs a skillful tailor.

Hands disappearing
Sleeves way too long
Holes in all the pockets
Faded plaid in last years colors
The jacket of humanity is now on sale at Goodwill.

Three o’**** in the morning,
Lying wide awake since One,
The sleep Gods have abandoned me
Like all the rest I pray to.

Outside on the patio now
No *****-petal darkness here -
Brilliant moon in cloudless sky
And stars I haven’t seen in years.

My symphony of hurts and aches
Is on a break right now
And there are words endeavoring
To escape my Rolling Ball V5

I  need to find a way to sleep-
To capture energy for what I’ll need
To get me through tomorrow
And the endless ones to come.

Of all the deprivations in my life
Sleep is the most costly one.
My slumber cup is just half full
Or partly empty, if you choose.

It costs me presence in the day
And attention to detail.
It robs me of serenity
As I stumble to keep up.

Four O’clock and all is well
While I’m the one exception.
The molasses-footed clock moves on
And I’m left in the shadows.
ljm

I’m so tired I could drop
But I mustn’t go to sleep.
Vicious dreams are hiding
Just behind my pillowcase,
Waiting for the perfect time
To tell me I’m inadequate
And guilty of egregious sins
That doom my frantic efforts
To create a perfect life
And move across humanity
In ways that make things better.
ljm

Time
A crooked line
Connecting then and now
Never quite achieving the connection
That would build a bridge
To somewhere over there
And make a path
To what could be a better sometime.
           ljm

Time
A crooked line
Connecting then and now
Never quite achieving the conjunction
That would build a bridge
To somewhere over there
And make a path to
What could be a better sometime
      ljm

The door is slowly opening
I can hear the hinges creaking
As it is forced to move.
What pagan wind invades
The solace of this silent chamber
To move what has grown stationary
In the effort to hold back
The machinations that are
Fluttering like brazen banners
On the brightly gilded lances
Of the mavens of decay
           ljm

Looking through my mental cupboard
I find I’m a little short on Meliorism.
I’ve been relegated to using Optimism,
Which doesn’t taste quite the same.

Adding a pinch of Sanguine flakes
helps, but makes it a little spicy.
I wish Ebullience wasn’t quite
so expensive and hard to get ahold of.

I thought I was all out of Dolor
But I found a new jar behind
A box of Pessimism, which
Is 2 weeks past it’s use-by date.

So I will dump it along with a
Packet of dehydrated Doubt hidden
Behind a whole carton of Ennui
That has never even been opened.

I think it’s time to clear the shelves
And restock with all fresh and new
So I can cook up lots of good things
And feed them to the hungry world.
ljm

My fingerprints have gone missing.
I sit and there is no dent in the cushion.
I sleep and the duvet lays flat and smooth.
I’m afraid to walk in the wet sand
For fear no footprints will be following me.
I’ve covered every mirror in the house
I can’t bear to not see a reflection.
I whistle for the dog - she doesn’t come.
I make no shadow on the wall.
The scale says I weigh nothing.
I seem to have faded like poorly dyed fabric
Left out in the blazing sun.
Can it be possible I’ve become a wraith
Of someone I once was and am no more.
I didn’t feel the transformation -
I touch my cheek and it feels warm -
But I sneeze and no one says “God Bless You” -
So I guess I’m well and truly gone.
   ljm

Bills  Bills  Bills  Bills
Never a Sam or Clyde
I simply can’t get out of debt
No matter how I’ve tried.

Bills  Bill  Bills  Bills
They come in twos and threes.
I wish that I could get a loan
To help me pay for these.

My credit score is way too low;
It’s only six-o-five.
I know they’ll never loan the dough
That I need to survive.

I didn’t know which way to turn
Until I spoke to Frank
He kindly said he’d lend a hand -
And help me rob a bank.

We put disguises on my face
And he pulled out a gun
We got some money in our bag
And took off on the run.

But we didn’t get too far
The coppers had us nailed.
They hauled us up before a judge
And both of us were jailed.

The problem now has gone away
My room and board is free
I have no monthly bills to pay
So I’m the winner, don’t you see.
ljm

You who are slaves to the small glowing screen
Have to scramble to do just the usual things
Like brushing your teeth and taking a shower.
The lure is stronger than Hash or *******
And it is the lover you sleep with.
ljm

I grew up a small town girl
Picking blackberries for the neighbor’s pies,
Picking summer strawberries to buy my new school clothes.
We rode our bikes to the river beach
And watched the lumber ships sail by.
It rained a lot and drizzled more.
My memories paint cloudy skies at night
With a moon that came and went at will.

I grew and went away to college
On a scholarship I didn’t really earn,
Nudged forward by a teacher’s faith in me.
But , the rain was driven by the wind
And the sky was seldom very bright
And night fell like a woolen quilt.
My life was full of books and boys
And I seldom bothered to look up.

Then I heard Big City’s call
And answered with a trial move
That found the sun and rainless days
More intoxicating than the the college wine.
The small town girl dipped in a toe
And found the water to her liking.
I moved my life and attitude
To bright lights dimmed by mustard colored sunsets.

So much to see, so much to do
So many small town traits to shed.
So many city things to learn
So many wonders in the neon nights
I never missed the morning sky
Until I saw Yosemite at dawn
And realized I miss the stars,
And a tiny longing began to grow.

From that time on, I searched the sky
Hoping for a single star, but city lights
Drowned out that hope and if there was
A single dot it was a satelite or plane.

So I stopped gazing at the night time sky
And owned the loss of stars in
A bargain for other shiny things
And times that seemed to sparkle better.

Eventually the city lost its glow
The gold turned greena nd the streets turned mean.
I battled with a will of iron
But I lost ground with every year,
And finally an evil I could not avoid
Backed me to a corner and pulled out the rug,
Leaving me no choice but flee
To some new place, unknown and harsh

Where I face dragons of sand and fire
And emptyness of land and soul.
Alone in hollow, crowded places
With no hand to welcome me
I walked outdoor at 4 A.M.
To find some solace if I could
I looked around and then looked up
And in the sky and in my soul - I finally saw stars.

ljm

I see the horsemen on the top of the hill
Surveying the evil below them,
Holding back their anxious steeds
Until the clock ticks down to zero
ljm

The marching band had practiced
The majorettes had tasseled boots
And the Tuba was very shiny.

The Grand Marshall was famous
And the car he rode was new.
With bunting all along the sides.

The soldiers in the honor guard
Rode horses striking as their flags
And their brass buttons glittered.

My float was finished just in time.
The theme was deftly chosen
And the final rose at last in place.

The streets were lined with people
Holding cameras and cell phones,
Their children sitting on the curb.

Motorcycle cops were set
To lead the whole thing off -
Their bikes let out a roar

That drowned the sound of pitter pat
As drops began to tumble
From an almost cloudless sky.

It became a shower, which
Became a heavy rain
And ended in a deluge

My little float was battered;
The flowers were all crushed -
All my hard work was gone

The only thing that I could do
Was call out for a rain delay
And take my float back home.

I have only wilted flowers
To remember that day by,
Pressed between the pages,
Of a scrap book on the shelf.
ljm

It’s all over now
All ******* with a velvet ribbon and ready to be put away
With the other memories saved for my old age.
Why can’t I close the closet door on it.
Why am I reluctant to consign it to the dark.
It was only twenty years and a single child.
It was only everything I ever wanted and much less.
I’m the one who rang the final gong
Why is it’s echo so discordant.

Maybe the things saved for my golden years
Should be unpacked right now.
Perhaps I lost track of time, and now the moment’s here.
Why do I expect the gold to have turned green.
How do I know the dust can not be blown away.
It can’t be midnight for more than an hour.
Why shouldn’t the sun come up again today.

It’s all over now
And nothing can be changed.  Life provides few erasers for our use.
What has been will be forever.  What is gone is lost forever.
Tomorrow will arrive in empty boxes
And I’m the one who put them in the mail.
I suppose they’ll all come postage due -
And me with only credit cards.
I wonder if the bank is open at this hour
And if this check is any good.

Maybe I should not be home when the postman rings the bell.
Perhaps I should be out job hunting when he comes.
Why do I think no one will hire me,
There’s no reason to despair.
There’s lots of kinds of things I do
How do I know I’ll never do them again.
Why shouldn’t I be usefully employed.

It’s all over now
And time to get on with whatever it was that seemed it would be better.
Time to see if pig ears really do become silk purses.
Time to learn how many hills I’ve yet the legs to climb.
Why aren’t I excited at the prospect of new vistas?
I couldn’t possibly have seen them all.
Perhaps the rain and fog have put me off.
I shiver in the wet and can’t see through the mist-
Which leaves me ever standing here, right beside the closet.
                                      

If  anyone has the right to inveigh against the weather
It’s me, folks - it’s me.
If anyone plans to stay indoors all day
It’s me, folks - it’s me

If anyone’s thermometer reads 120 degrees
It’s mine, folks - it’s mine
If anyone’s TV says Dangerous Heat Warning
It’s mine, folks - it’s mine

If anyone wonders why they live here
It’s me folks - it’s me
If anyone says the sunrise is worth it
It’s me, folks it’s certainly me.
ljm

One copy of Unicorns is enough, thank you.
And thanks for the likes attached to this duplicate copy.

Time for the sadness to find an end
Time for the hateful words to hush
Time for the wounded to find a balm
Time for universal love to blush

Time to find abandoned paths
And travel on them once again
Time to lend a helping hand
And plant new courage deep within

Time to act when there’s a need
To be the person who steps out
To bridge the rivers yawning wide
With cataracts of fear and doubt.

Time for the star that glowed one night
O’er the hills of little Bethlehem
To work a magic in our souls
Eliminating “us and them”

Time to bathe in gentleness
And soak in honesty
Time to set the world alight
With all the things that ought to be.
ljm

I’ve written my words in quicksand
Mostly gone before they’re seen
My footprints are on the high tide line
Erased by the incoming waves

I leave no shadow at midnight
The wind carries away my song
I call and nobody answers
I think I’m out here alone.

I gather some lilacs and daisies
Enough for a small bouquet
But others have somehow collected
Enough for a Festival float.

The candy store seems to be open
The lollipops all on display
Look so very tempting
I haven’t a cent to my name.

No one will buy my small posey
I have nothing much else to sell
Oh well, I’m too fat for a lolly
So I’ll look away and walk by.

Someday someone may decipher
The code that I don’t understand
Though I speak it and write it
And paste it on billboards.

And stand in the shadows
In case someone stops
To gaze at the verses
So recently written in sand

And breathe in the scent of the ocean
The feel of bare feet on wet sand
And suddenly discern the shadow
The posey, the lolly, the music and me
                 ljm

I want to be your playmate
Dancing on the bubbles of our joy.
I want to be your everything
Providing all you need and more.

        I want to be your hiding place
        When storms of life surround you.
        I want to be the face you see
        When you wake up forever.

                 I want to be a steady beam
                 To light the ways we travel.
                 I want to be part of your life
                 As long as God will let me
                              ljm

If Jack the Ripper lived in OZ
He'd have a double name
He'd be   "That Ripper Jack the Ripper"
He was very good at what he did.
                                   ljm

Violin with just one string
Tuning peg turned green with mold-
How can music come from that.

Flugelhorn with dented bell
And valves turned red with rust-
Who can blow a tune through that.

Radio with no antenna
Broken plastic dial won’t move-
No songs to dance the airwaves now.

Warbler with a sore throat in
A covered cage in the other room-
Can’t out sing the crows outside.,

A singer’s soul in a tuneless box
Perfect rhythm trapped in mud-
Melody in turmoil to get out.

Envy, longing, deprivation
Effort, failure, mockery-
One who should but cannot sing.

One entitled to the music
That shakes mountains,
Calms the frantic, dulls the pain.

Given only little tastes
Of what that paradise would be
If only she could sing.

Why was her voice given to
A multitude of those
Who have no need or yearning.

Why was she deprived of song-
Of that one balm to heal and mend
The every breaking of her heart.

Why was she allowed to stand
Nearby enough to feel the air
Vibrating with the sounds of it

And not allowed to make her own-
To feel the rhythm and the beat
But not take part in shaping it.

Why was her feeling for the mood
Denied the chance to paint it
On the canvas of her throat

And send it out like pretty boats
On calm reflecting waters,
Even if nobody heard but her.

Where was the vibrato hidden
That she sought and schooled for years
Sometimes there, but mostly not.

Why her mental perfect pitch
Refused to translate to her voice
And became a sorrow birthing silence.
ljm

JINGLES

Sad in such a happy place
I can’t find my clown suit

Nor the paint to make a cheerful face
And I forgot the song I sing.

All too often that’s the case
I haven’t any joy to share

And I cannot keep up this pace
I know I soon must find a way

To exit with a little grace
And vanish me without a trace.
ljm

My words keep bumping into yours
And having to stop to wipe a tear.
My thoughts tiptoe sadly over
Moments shared in brief exchange.

Fellow traveler on a highway
Crowded with ideas and dreams
We touched hands briefly now and then
And warmth became the bow that tied us.

Every path has many turnings,
Some of them with no way back.
But still the memory of touching
Warms the heart that’s left behind.

Travel on to other vistas
You’ve left behind a monument
That will shine as long as eyes
Enjoy the worlds that you created.
ljm