empty seas

empty seas Aug 2018

i used to have an easy time
enjoying myself
laughs came easy
smiles even easier
even being around these people made me happy

but something has changed
my heart has moved places
and my stomach refuses to consider the possibility that I’m safe
every word, every breath feels forced
out of an unchanging smile

i guess im just waiting
but i don’t know what for
for when ill finally have a day in which the possiblity of sleeping forever doesn’t feel appealing?
for when ill finally love myself?
maybe im just waiting for the sun to set
so we can finally start the bonfire
and the burning of my skin
will make me feel something

everything feels so numb and strange
i think it would’ve been better if i never woke up from that nap we took together

#anxiety #party #waiting

empty seas Jul 2018

i want to shut everything out

ive been feeling weird recently
i have these Moments
where i just want to
curl up in a ball
and cry

#anxiety

Jul 2018

alexa

“not a poet”

you say you’re not a poet but
with a girl like that,
how could you speak
anything less than
the stars?
-a.c.b

Jul 2018

levi eden r

sigh

i know who i am.
i know i'm boring and i'm not the brighest star in the sky.
you said you loved me and you said you cared.
that was until you found someone shinier and a correlating personality.
i know who i am.
i know i shouldn't, and i don't, expect you to stay by my side even when i want to draw blood.
but there was a part of me, a huge part of me,
that wanted you to stay.
that part of me felt like you're my soulmate.
so here i am,
i will love you from the backseat.

tw// "drawing blood" referring to self harm.

i don't really feel loved right now, by anyone. it's just a bad day. a really day. that i know will pass but i just want to feel these emotions right now because i know if i don't then they'll remain.

#poetry #love #abandon

Jul 2018

Ken

believe

i wish i could understand why you did it.
but i don’t think i ever will.
why did you pretend to care for so long?
it was evident you didn’t, and still don’t.

i wish i could understand why i did it.
but i don’t think i ever will.
why did i let myself believe you for so long?
and; why does a a little part of me still believe

for m

Jul 2018

Boi

Lost & found (by T.)

My soul, it’s aching
The thought of her smile, got me shaking
The sound of her laugh, got me trembling
Her wondering eyes. My thoughts I’m losing
The miles.. got me crying
The moon is dark, why did it lose its light
Does the moon feel me? Feel how my chest got tight?
I asked why are you dark, the moon ignored me in a cold quite
Waiting all night, the times are lost, now I’m stuck in fright
I cried I cried, now my life has lost its moonlight

#soul #moonlight

Jul 2018

levi eden r

to the sea

i've always had a love for you.
although i've visited you a handful of times,
you're still as beautiful as when i met you the first time.
the sounds of your running waves crashing against the soft sand
pulled my heartstrings.
in those moments, there was no bad times.
i've forgotten what pain felt like in your presence.
thank you sea.

from one of many admirers,
moon.

#sea #poetry #love