Pressure builds up
We can feel it as it engulfs the atmosphere
Warnings as we walk up and lights click
People watching, criticizing, weary
They know nothing what they talk about, but it still hurts
All the effort gone to waste on something you experienced and worked on
It’s a first time for everyone, but a last time for some.

i could feel everything.
my toes as they grip the board
and my tongue as it swirls and tastes the food in my mouth.
and for an ounce of an instant,
everything felt real.

all is calm in the world
as i sit on the cracked pavement
green lights flash and change
wind of cold rushes around my ears
cold plastic soda bottles rest on the ground.
but all is calm in the world of constant business.

the lack of sleep covers my perception.
i can feel by bones creak and my muscles sigh as I take each step.
it’s as if the worlds air were replaced with syrup, and I have to walk through it.
people pass by in a blur as i focus on the path i take to my next class.
i know i have somewhere to be, something to do.
later.
but right now?
right now I have to move my body through a tired, sleep day.

tears stream down the face of the crying girl.
i know nothing of her troubles.
she can’t seem to formulate or figure it out, and it is wreaking hell on her mind.
then again..
neither can I.
i am stuck in my own feeling.
unable to escape.
i know i must push past and work, so as to please the anger of a unapproving world.
but none of that matters right now.
nothing.
except for the tears that stream down the face of the crying girl.

words hurt.
even in a joking unmeaningful way.
even when you don’t think the person is listening
but they can.
and it burrows into their brain and infects their day like a parasite, thoroughly changing the perception of a good day.
even when it’s relayed as a message to them by someone thought to be a friend or a family member.
words ****
and they harm
and they affect
and they hurt.

it’s strange how pain can corrupt me.
how i can be having a perfect moment
but thoughts,
evil, digging, angry thoughts,
thoughts that strike me hard,
fill my head.
and in moments like these.
when i know i can’t do anything to help myself,
i bask in the pain.
feeling it with my whole being.
strengthening the sadness coursing through my skin
seeping into my blood and slamming me in the heart.