Lizzie

Lizzie Feb 2020

A man reclining in a chair -
His legs straight out, his hands in hair.
What toppled this tree such that
He landed in a way like that?

Up and down, his head it goes,
And now I see his eyelids close.
What droning tune did he hear
That sent him to someplace not here?

But at last his chin finds rest
On his slowly heaving chest.
What luck the teacher did not see
A slacking student such as he!

When one of my peers fell asleep in class the other day, I couldn't help but write this poem.

Lizzie Feb 2020

Overthinking

There are thoughts that crowd me
Choke me, drown me
Lose me in a fractal name
And drown me in an endless flame

Questions I’ll never know
Skills I will never show
With no words to say it
I simply can’t convey it

A feeling with no sense
No sound, no touch, no scent
A feeling with no shape
(A theft, a ****, a ****).

Living in this gruesome time
My bleeding mind
Is suffocating

Lizzie Feb 2020

Identity Crisis

I don't effing know what's wrong -
My brain's a mess just like this song;
I sing to the beat and I play this game,
Will I always be the effing same?

I don't like the person I pretend to be,
But **** truth is, I don't even know me,
Changed and shaped by all around
(Without them, I'd be heaven-bound).

Or would I be in hell with Satan?
Cause unless I am mistaken,
My soul is twisted, my heart is cracked.
I just need an effing smack!

These evil thoughts that plague my mind
Take the truth and mix in lies.
I'd take a sponge and scrub them raw,
Remove every thought, but naw,

I'm cursed to live in indecision,
Going on without precision,
Wondering do I have a mission,
Cracking in my heart this fission!

What the eff is wrong with me?
I keep on hoping to believe
That who's saying all this ****
Is only me, and that's it.

#identity #crisis #lies #truth

Lizzie Feb 2020

Drowning in Sin

You're so near to me, but I can't reach you;
So near to me, but I really need you;
So near to me, but I feel so lost;
Stretch out your hands, and help me God!

I'm drowning in sin, and it's all my fault.
I know that you're waiting with open arms,
But I stumble and fall (I'm blinded by pride);
Say the words, Lord, and open my eyes!

How many times will you bring me the day!
How many times will I turn you away!
How many times will I wish I had not!
Give me your grace, and help me God!

Temptation holds me - please set me free.
My heart is locked - you hold the key.
You ask me gently if you can come in,
But I deny you again and again.

These chains were made by my choice,
So God, don't listen to my voice!
Why do you ask? You know the truth.
I'm placing all my trust in you.

You're so close to me, but I can't reach you;
So close to me, but I really need you;
So close to me, but my spirit is poor;
Stretch out your hands, and be my savior!

Lizzie Feb 2020

Geese

Feathers flutter, fly, and fall
White like bones against the Fall
Red; and from the gold raked lawn
Also startled, runs the fawn

Lizzie Feb 2020

Autumn

A leaf left the branch burdened.
Leaves leave the bough barren.

Lizzie Feb 2020

Daddy II

They said that death and sorrow,
Will hurt today and hurt tomorrow--
That, like autumn to winter passing,
This heartbreak is not everlasting.
But, oh my God, he's gone! He's gone!

Sweet sleep replaced by horrid thought,
Memories the face of grieving shock,
I'm feeling nothing until, my God!
I can't believe he's gone, he's gone!

I saw him the other day, smiling like he always smiles,
Laughing like he always laughs.
We're meeting soon like we always meet.
But oh my God, he's gone! He's gone!

All those times I could have called
I never got to say (I could have called)
How dearly I love him, oh God!
And now he's gone.

#death #grief #sorrow #loss #father #music