I’ve never felt like this before.
The blood that the weapon and the battle bore
Has splashed the walls and warped the floor,
But I’ve never felt like this before.

I’ve never breathed like this before.
My chest getting tighter at my heartbeat’s roar
And I’ve felt myself panic on anxiety’s shore,
But I’ve never breathed like this before.

I’ve never hurt like this before.
I’ve been battered and beaten as the barbs would gore
My frail little heart ‘till it beat no more,
But I’ve never hurt like this before.

I’ve never burned like this before.
The witchers with their torches tried to “settle the score”,
And I kept on burning  to the crowd’s “encore!”
But I’ve never burned like this before.

I’ve never been lonely like this before.
I’ve been abandoned, sure; thought that I was done for,
When I reached out to people and they slammed the door,
But I’ve never been lonely like this before.

I’ve never felt like this before.
The walls are closing in and I’m losing the war.
See my broken salute as I fight on, I’m trying!
But my courage is dying
And my smile is lying
All the tears that I’m crying
Are so subtly implying
That I’m NOT OKAY
Someone help me, please!
I don’t want to die alone
But all the sweet words that you give me only pile up on the throne
Of my broken wishes, of my long-gone home,
And at the end of the day, you won’t know how hard I tried,
But the world would still be better off if I-

’ve never felt like this before.

I wanna give up and take my final bow;
I guess I just can't handle that
The only reason I'm alive right now
Is this cat.

My stomach hurts.
I'm not sick,
I'm anxious.

My heart is racing.
I'm not having a heart attack,
I'm anxious.

I have chills.
I don't have a fever,
I'm anxious.

The thermometer says 102 degrees.
Now I know I'm sick
And anxious.

While walking on the snowy ground
That crunched beneath my feet,
I met a little friendly floof,
Who looked so kind and sweet.

He tilted his small fluffy head,
And twitched his fluffy tail.
A friendlier squirrel I never have met;
He invited me close to the rail.

I was near enough to touch him,
When he suddenly skittered away.
I could see the fear in his little dark eyes
As he begged me this distance to stay.

He chittered at me warily,
He twitched his tail again,
And a drop of crimson liquid
Showed me why he acted in pain.

The friendliest little squirrel
Did not move when I approached
Because his tail had been broken and ripped
While on his space I encroached.

Let this tail alert you
To a truth I, sadly, have learned.
The friendliest, kindest people
Are most often the ones who've been burned.

Entertain my broken brain
Numb me till I feel the pain
Swirling, whirling agony
In my blank stare.

Anaesthetic, my aesthetic,
Curled up in a ball, pathetic.
Surgically remove my fears;
Does anybody care?

Interweaving, spirit-reaving,
For my peace of mind I’m grieving.
Nothing matters so I scream,
“It’s just not fair!”

New beginning, used to winning,
Patience with the world is thinning,
Failure strikes, though through the years,
Protection has prevailed.

Codependent, my defendant
Is betrayed by my resentment.
Coddled by the Understood,
My lack is now unveiled.

My decision, hooded vision,
Heart and Will engage in fission.
Thus the end will soon begin,
With both my halves impaled.

Why are you always on my mind?
It’s been years since that summer.
Why do I live life as though I’m blind,
And look for you, my wayward brother?

I look north, to where I know you are
And hold myself ‘cause you wouldn’t do it.
I turn away; this anguish is too hard,
And shed a tear, whis’pring “I’ll get through it”.

I take a walk in the garden of our youth
And curse the days I stumbled ‘pon it,
If “I love you” was the truth,
It wouldn’t have shattered my soul to want it.

In the lonely, dark and frigid nights
You haunt my dreams like a ghost of laughter.
I wake sobbing and flick on the lights
To look around at my Emptily Ever After.

Precious, treasured memories
Floating by on the summer breeze.
Magical, swinging melodies;
Looking back on a world of dreams.

The golden heat from the gleaming lights,
Wav’ring forms in spectators’ sights,
Costumes and set-pieces, perfect delights;
Looking back on a world of art.

Voices ringing through the breathless air,
Some words forgotten and some still there,
Cries and laughter, joy and despair;
Looking back on a world of sound.

The smile on my lips as the crowd’s cheers roar
We hold hands and bow as they shout “encore!”
For two nights only, then never more,
Looking back on a world gone wild.

Then, in an eyeblink, the daydream fades
Our paths intertwined, but now we’ve parted our ways
The magic in memory alone remains,
Making way for the world of fall.