I've spoken,
about my boxes,
my memories,
my friends.

Each one,
they're different,
none the same.

While cleaning,
I began opening boxes,
taking a peek at the ones I haven't seen in awhile,
as I was looking again,
I began re-sorting.

High school friends,
from middle school friends,
from elementary friends,
then true friends from fake,
slowly my shelves started to clear.

I didn't throw any out,
just re packaged.
Added new labels,
moved them around.

They're all still around,
just in new places.

*I've changed my priorities,
adjusted my life,
made it better for me

No one can really tell,
      Where friendship ends and sisterhood begins.
No one really knows,
      How some friendships begin.
Not many understand,
      The reasoning behind the dynamic.

Fate brings them together.
      Just like us.

Big sister,
You smell like coffee....
but I showered twice!!

I hear the choking sound,
                  turn around
I see the boy, the tree, the pink leash,
                  pink, why pink
I touch the boy, his skin is ice, Why?
                   he's so cold
I feel the fear and tears,
                  do not cry
I speak the words, "Michael? Wake up, you're gonna be in trouble!"
                   *he's gone

Silly songs,
Pink dresses,
Bows to match.
Pageant after pageant,
Class after class.
Perfect hair,
Tease it big.
Painted faces,
Plastic dolls.
Dress them up,
Show them off,
Put them away.
In the end,
get a sash,
a crown,
a trophy.
Leave in tears,
sad faces,
Don't let the judges see.
Go home,
Prepare again,
new dresses,
bows to match.
Replay until you win...

Do you know what I think of when I hear your name?
         I think of someone cruel and ugly.
                   The type of person mean enough to kick puppies!
                            Honestly, the one person that even Mother Theresa would hate.
                                    No one can fix you,
                                             No one can put you back together.
                                                    You're just a broken little person.
                                             Who will one day understand,
                                     Understand the reasons for the hatred,
                            The reasons for the sadness!
                  One day you will see,
        You will be no longer blind,
You will see why we hate you,
        You will look into our eyes, and see the pain you caused.
                  Our fear is your fault.
                            Yours, and yours alone.
                                    How could you not know,
                                             *What you've caused?

You know what?
I'm just here,
waiting.
Waiting for the day,
when you make that
choice.
You know what I'm
talking about.
The choice that finally says,
"I love her, it was all a lie."
Yea,
that
one.
I can feel it coming on,
she's your ex, but
I was once too.
Now though,
I'm your new
You dear, You should be
focused on us.
On our relationship.
It's torn dear,
my family hated you until now.
They're just starting to
warm up to us, you and I.
Don't **** us up,
I love you
In 8th grade, you my dear, you said
             Today,
               Tomorrow,
                 and
                Forever.
     That's how long I'll love you.
You see dear,
I remember that.
I remember the date,
what we were doing.

*I remember it all....
          from our first kisses to the last

When we have those nights,
the ones where we do nothing,
it makes me happy.

On those nights,
all I want to do is hang out,
that would make me happy.

I love those few nights,
when we're almost all together,
they make me smile.

Nights like tonight,
where we could even hang out
in Subway, and still have fun!

*Nights like these,
They bring me joy!

Dearest daddy,
Oh how I mis you!
I miss your hugs,
kisses,
our secrets.

Daddy dearest,
I miss being just
your baby girl.

I'm something more,
someone older.

Your kisses can't
make the hurt vanish,
mommy's cannot either.

Your hugs don't
make me forget,
mom's either!

Daddy,
Oh dearest daddy.

I love you.
I miss you like crazy.

I see your face,
        hear your voice your laugh,
                 feel your joy,
                       smell your smell so clean and crisp
Your eyes, they look sincere, but your voice seems confused,
          Your joy, it's changed, it's different somehow.
                   Your smell, it's different, less innocent in a way.
That sentence, is it true?
         *What's it mean to hang yourself?

A summer
      to remember,
The loss of
      our innocence,
The taste of
      a kiss
             beneath the stars,
Just a few simple things
      to make our
             *summer memorable

When I lie awake at night, I think of you.
                                                            ­                                                                 ­               I think of you too
When I close my eyes to sleep, I see your face.
                                                           ­                                                                 ­           Your's is all I can see
When I finally dream, you are the main character.
                                                      ­                                                                 ­     You're the princess in mine
When I wake in the morning, I swear I hear your voice.
                                                          ­                                              Your's is the melody that awakens me
You're so much a part of me, that
                                                                ­                                      *I don't know where you end and I begin

This year will be about me.
It will be my Zen year!
The year I take interest in Yoga,
The one that makes me care for me.
This time around a move is going to happen.
I'm becoming an adult,
Finding more of myself.
This year I continue my soul search!
My future is bright, I just know it!!

I
pour
my
heart
and
all
I
get
is
a
Really?

I
Love
You,
but
you
really
are
clueless.

I've realized that one year ago I met my love,
it didn't start out as love though.
On the first of August last year, I found someone,
someone on Okcupid.com.
Why was I on a dating site, you ask?
That, my dear friends, is a whole different story!
My love- my Suikui- and I were matched,
we started talking around this time last year.
I fell in love sometime in September,
or rather we said it.
I'm certain that I fell not long after we met.

*I love you Suikui

One Night.
While dreaming,
I met a boy.

Face of an angel.
Voice of one too!
Twas' just a dream though.

One Day.
While awake,
I met a boy.

Face of a demon.
Voice of one too!
It wasn't a dream though.

One Night.
While dreaming,
The demon boy appeared.

His demon face melted away.
His voice became angelic.
Was this real?

One Day.
While awake.
I met the demon boy, again.

I looked into his eyes.
The demon disappeared!
*He became My angel.

Drip

Drip, drip

Drip

ting

Drip, drip

Sitting here
Watchin the rain fall
One drop at a time
So calm and peaceful.
Wish everyday could be like today.

Ready to take my first steps,
To run away,
Run into your arms.

I was just about done,
Money saved up
ready to run, right to your arms.

You left.
No clue why.
You once said,
You were afraid of getting hurt,
Guess what,
I was too.

You never know where,
Or how,
Or when.
You just know someday,
Sometime,
Somehow.
It will happen.
One way or another.

That night,
it plays in my head
like a broken record.

That night,
I see it all again
like it's happening again.

That night,
it's my nightmare.

I want to:
see your 'good morning' smile
wake up to you looking down at me
be able to look up at you

I need to:
hear your voice in the morning
go to sleep listening to your voice
look in to your eyes and know that I'm all you see.

I have to be:
held by you
loved by you
touched only by you.

You,
the one with the pretty eyes,
that nice smile,
the dreads you once had,
I'm over you.

You,
the one with the kind eyes,
amazing coffee skills,
the truly amazing words,
I'm here.

Buried deep in the dark,
under piles of memories,
you'll find the love I felt.

Hidden way back in a corner,
behind boxes of forgotten things,
you'll find the pieces you left.

Tucked away under the bed,
beneath the dust of my tears,
you'll find what was lost.

Right in front of you,
on the bench just a few yards away,
you'll find the smile that you
*tried to take away

Thanksgiving hasn't even passed.
Your lights are up,
I can tell you're debating on the tree too.
But Thanksgiving isn't even here yet.
We try to skip the turkey and stuffing,
All because of the department stores.
They've been all Christmas-y since July!
Don't rush the holidays,
Stop and enjoy some turkey.

One I could easily call "home"
it's a place for safety
one where I can let my feelings flow
I don't have to be afraid here...
it's my safety blanket
Hello Poetry,
the place I stumbled across
then never left....
*This place is right where I belong!

So evil.
So close!!
No!

I don't wanna go today...

Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
How to get through the day.

Breathe In.
Out.
In.
Out
How to make it through
            those moments.

Look forward.
Forward.
Forward.
Forward.
Never look back at what
           you thought you wanted

How does it feel?
To know that my smile isn't yours.
What's it like?
Knowing that your pain didn't last.
Why are you here?
Trying to fix something that isn't broken.

My dear, you had your chance.
Now this smile,
My smile,
It's not for you.

It can be found in many ways,
by searching,
by falling,
sometimes by tripping.
It can be lost too.

I thought I loved you,
thought you felt the same.
Then you left,
just disappeared.
tore me in two.

Just one,
it won't hurt.
Just one beer,
no harm no foul.
Just one,
it won't hurt.
Just one smoke,
one little spiff.
Just one,
it won't hurt.
Just one rule,
one little rule broken.