I fell in love,
when I was about fourteen
with narcotics

****, pills, coke, lean
LSD and ecstasy
DMT and Ketamine

I love it all

Sobriety is a struggle
Because I don't know how to cope
If I can't get high,
I'm searching for the rope
To tie around my neck
and jump
to a short drop
With a sudden stop
Because I have to deal with everything
Or anything,
at all

I can't do that...
I'm not like you
I can't look past the rain clouds in my way
To get a little better view
The view has to be skewed
By acid or a mushroom
Or two, or three
maybe a few hits of DMT,
Then those clouds will move,
Maybe the world will gimme a little breathin room

I'm not even a addict
To one particular vice
I'm just an addict
For the vice of the night

what am I gonna smoke?
What am I gonna snort?
What will bring me back up
To where I was before?

I can't handle sober
It's just not in my genes
I rely on all these drugs
To make me feel like me

But you wouldn't understand
Your probably 30 years old with a 10 year plan
you're a family man, got a wife and two sons
Reading this saying "I hope they don't end up like this one"
Cause you know what?

I really don't either
I failed chemistry
But I can turn brake fluid
Into Ether

And that should tell you something
When I started this, I didn't know
About the bad world coming

Now I'm stuck so deep in this hole
I can't climb out, cause there's no hand-hold
I don't think there's a long enough pole
To reach down to the bottom and touch my soul

Now I just keep digging my self deeper
I found my love, and I know she's a keeper
But what's to keep her from leaving me?
I'm going nowhere fast and it's plain to see
Sometimes I just wanna die,
Hope a car jumps out in front of me
then I can die peacefully
Like I've always wanted,
I've put a gun to my head,
But can't pull the trigger
I'm just to cowardly...

I want to die
I want to die right now
With a rag over my face
Inhaling all the toxic chemicals
Kids found out about on Myspace
In my place,
Just my, my self, and I
Layin all up on my counter space

and I slip away

You’re becoming like nicotine
Yes, you’re like a drug to me-
Morphine,
******,
Ketamine,
All of these.
You’ve become my only source of joy,
I’m addicted to you boy.
I want to see you,
Touch you
And play with you like my toy.
I’m getting crazy over you,
Soon I’ll be sadly in love with you
And I will stick to you like glue.
You’ve taught me how to laugh and smile,
Because I haven’t in a while.
You’re always at the forefront of my mind:
“Where is he?”, “What’s he doing ?”, “Is he alright?”
You’ve
     Opened up my
     Delicate
     Heart.
Boy, you’re my
   Only
   Daily source of
   Happiness.
You’ll be my Obritine
And I’ll be your Hasitine.
Let’s get high off each other.

The gloy of the better men
Enjoy a line of ketamine

Gotta love that dreamy haze
Inside your mind like a maze

I could stay here for days and day
I love the feeling,in so many ways

Its pure bliss to tranquilize
To see so much without your eyes

Forget what I do despise
From fear and doubt to the lies

Warriors of a dreamscape plane
Enjoying life outside time frame

Don't worry,I won't go insane
But I may melt more than half my brain

I woke in the night air,
Damp from the grass, stale breath and smoggy eyed
You played with my hair as it turned from green to blue and back
And I held your paper skin in my palm, as familiar as a lighter
The air smelled of weeks ago, of dust
I had to leave in my tracks, violets grew where I stepped away
You curled into them and I wished you a rainstorm
Recovering my jacket from where we'd tossed it,
And your favorite necklace
When the veil lifts again, you'll think you might have lost it
I'm a walking dream, crisscrossing lines of red from every toy
I discard in the real world,
It's miles to the Ocean
Counting every block
I am noiseless and vapid, listless, light
You may be waking up tonight,
Wondering where your blanket went,
Wondering who left the kiss marks on your hips
This is all I leave you, the aggravating half-memories
A trilling laugh, a groan, a caress
As the waves guide me out
And the lights lead me down
I am home in the silt beneath your feet,
And my disregard as deep.

A spark of fear on every syllable
a hint of it on the tip of my tongue
and I am a snake- a viporess
Ready to combat Burroughs himself
Burrow himself in a hole
don't come out until winter time
until the Russian cavalry comes galloping in and my lord
wont this be interesting
A real match
I must retire to my chambers
1 minute 2 minute
God, have I discovered writing?
Joyous, glorious
as the life spills on her pages
What a treat to the historian himself
Tick tock tick tock tick tock!
A day in the loony bin!
Congratulations congratulations congratulations
Analogous to Berkeley with androgynous beings
Fly away Pegasus, fly!
And I am high

You know what's good about getting high?
You forget everything you just said
But you know everything was/is? connected
Good morning brain!
You haven't been up for 18 years
Welcome to the world,
where life is light and bright
How does it feel?
This is right
Hot to cold, just like that
Can't see, only feel.
Loose Buttons
Pregnant with a platypuss but this is high time
Wackadoodle > Lackadaisical
Dictionary please
Much hate but night night

little peach colored amphetamine
allows reality
to be a dream
uncertain if it prohibits meaning
or stifles raw creativity
it's hard to decipher when without it
there seems to be no purpose
no motivating factors
are present in its absence

naturalistic existence
e x t i n g u i s h e d
by addictive dependence

lacking attachment to actuality
solely pieces of speed can calm me