you burn me.

and it isn’t anyone’s
fault but mine.

i gave you the match
in the first place.

And over time,
My pen stopped bleeding
But my heart didn't

"It must have been hard for your mother,
not having any children."
Ann Lowell.

You have to admire
these people,
so ready to love the worst in
themselves.

Remember when we were all legs,
all pomade,
all grayscale and bright,
when our joy was only getting bigger?

Yeah,
me neither

and I think I prefer
being bored
with our color.

It's a nice place to spend the afternoon though.
It's beginning to be a habit
with me.

with capitals and longer sentences
she said i was odd, so i took that ok.

yet when later i said she was odd, she
said it was an insult……………



i washed my hands until they came shiny & ever
so slightly sore

Step 1: Think about the one you miss. Maybe look at a few old pictures or letters they have written to you. Take out the clothes you've taken from them. Look at the ring that they gave to you. This starts the process.

Step 2: Try to message them, then once you try to press send, delete it.

Step 3: Remember them. Remember their smell. Remember their touch. Remember their voice. Remember their love towards you. Remember the little things about them.

Step 4: Think about how happy they are without you. Remind yourself that they don't need or want you anymore.

Step 5: If you're not dead by this step, try to erase any memory of them. Burn their pictures. Erase their contact. Block them. Unfollow them. Delete them from your life.

Type. Type. Type.
Delete. Delete. Delete.
I do not know how to write how I feel.
You make me crazy…er.
I want to paint this beautiful portrait of how you have opened up my monotonous life.
I want you to be able to see how easily you can make my day.
But I can’t think of the words.
I have the image in my head,
But my mouth is not able to speak.
My mind is not able to form sentences.
I do not know which way is up and which way is down.
I do not know what is right and what is wrong.
This feeling you have left me with is one that I wish to never let go of…that I know.

I don't hate my life <---[delete]
I.

[stare blankly]

I don't know how I got here.
I don't know many people who want
to be alive.
Why are we doing this?
Why do I keep doing this?
Where am I?