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Slightly Lovely Apr 2020
If we met again
And you said something along the lines of regret of our time apart or an apology for our outcome,
I’d turn to you and say
“Just some steps backward, and more steps forward to come.”
It wasn’t either of our faults
(Even if sometimes I blame myself)
Slightly Lovely Feb 2019
I sit in a rickety bus,
Wondering what I did to deserve friends like this.
We laugh and pose and sing.
I draw your faces, you draw mine,
I kiss your cheeks, and you return the favor.
I love the neon light, i love your shining eyes and your lovely laughs.
Thank you.
I don't deserve you, but I'll take you all.
<3
Slightly Lovely Jan 2020
a scream down an empty hallway.
that's what it feels to think about it.
as broken air conditioner hums along,
the darkness shrouding the actions of a man I did not know,
who's hands were in places they didn't belong,
and I wonder if that night from my childhood,
will ever really be gone.
I couldn't say no,
If I didn't know what was going on.
repressssseeeeeedddddd traummmmmaaaaaaa
Slightly Lovely Dec 2019
You remind me of glass,
your laugh a clear clink of shimmering crystal,
your heart filled with scraping shards.
Thank you for reminding me,
that people too can break,
and mirrors can hold memories.
Slightly Lovely Apr 2022
If energy cannot be created or destroyed,
just change forms,
then I am born of grief,
If I am made from something,
I was knit from love after death,
The weight of memories with no place to put them down,
I am the care and adoration that dies in your throat,
The loneliness in a crowd,
The sadness in your bones,
The shame for growth,
The crime of happiness.
If I am made from anything,
It is grief.
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
You affected me,
Like sunlight affects the dust,
You took a grey, dull thing,
And made it magical.
Slightly Lovely Apr 2019
If you were mine
I'd tell you how i feel
But we're separated by miles
miles of love
miles of brain blocks
This night i thought of you
As the warm sunlight drifted into a humid midnight
I remembered us
I layed on top of my poofy comforter,
all that covered me was the pleasant air
softer than its been all year...
The tiny fan I used to listen to, playing again
Covering me, back and forth with ripples of wind
I sat there and thought of white beaches and beds outside
The fan blowing over the two of us, snuggling closer this time
We were only five, but even then i knew
I wanted to make you mine.
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
It feels like parts of you are slipping through my grasp,
and all I can hold onto is a vague fog,
deepening around me.
I wake up, your touch on my skin, your name coming through my stuttered breaths.
And I don’t really know if it hurts less, or it just hurts differently.
So honey, can you please come back to me?
Hi
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
Hi
In a hazy faded blue,
I wish  for a dream,
one too big to see an end to.
One that could lift me on wings,
and take me to you.
Slightly Lovely Mar 2021
I collapsed inward,
a tidal wave crashing down as sobs ripped through my whole chest.
You held me tight against you,
a hand holding my head to your heart as I broke,
and when you asked if I wanted to talk about it,
I didn't know how to say
"you"
Slightly Lovely Oct 2020
time slows,
thick and sweet
honey slowing my veins,
lulling me.
I wake up only to fall asleep,
my classes are falling behind,
but I can't bring myself to care,
it all feels so distant...
Slightly Lovely Apr 2021
Anger is my friend,
but she is just a mask,
A storm erupting to save face,
and hide the heartbreak,
the grief.
Why couldn't you love me?
I'm your daughter
How have you failed something so essential?
do you even see me crying?
Slightly Lovely Oct 2021
You said to me,
"Hurt me. Again and again, in the worst ways, and I'd still run back to you."
and I pressed my cheek into your soft hand and replied with;
"You could show me the worst version of you, the ugliest, cruelest, craziest, version of you, and I'd still think you were the prettiest thing I'd ever seen."
And we didn't kiss
but we wanted to.
oh, how we wanted to.
And we aren't together. We won't be together. And that ******* kills me
i
Slightly Lovely May 2018
i
i
what a stupid letter to capitalize,
i
am not important,
i
is a selfish letter,
i
deserves to be drowned in rain,
i
deserves to be kissed by the sun,
and
i
am not worth either
Slightly Lovely Aug 2022
Cold shoulder,
Sleepy grumble.
A berate about the sheets,
A tough act.
You seem so dominating,
I love to see you soft.
Kissing the backs of my hands,
Pressing to my forehead.
Whimpers with my hands in your hair,
Tongue so eagerly licking into my mouth.
You worship me.
And I adore you
Slightly Lovely Nov 2018
Glittering snow and fall forests
You tilt your head,
Fires rage in silent icy whispers,
I rest, enjoying the pillow your shoulder provides
The leaves dapple everything in reds and golds…
I take a risk, nuzzling into your neck…
Dark clouds bring the promise of a white morn
You lean into me, and I revel in our companionship

People are as flighty and reliable as the weather,
And I always knew it wouldn’t last,
But you left as quickly as the rain, and you’ll never return...
Slightly Lovely Jun 2019
Today I told my story.
Every single little thing.
My old therapist told me I should, so I did.
One friend told me I was faking it,
because I'm too happy,
Another told me that I was just being dramatic,
cause I smile too much.
But the most charming smiles,
hold the weirdest pasts.
My bright blue eyes have cried so many tears that they have changed colors
And I know my heart is kind,
But the softest souls, have held the most pain.
I am who I am, because of who I was.
And that is valid.
I have become like the waters I jumped into,
turbulent once, but now,
Simply soft and caressing.
Slightly Lovely Nov 2018
If a being could be shaped,  
Molded by the emotions enveloping them,
What form will it take?


What personality changes are affected by love.
And which actions of hate mold your soul?

These people I keep close, this family of comfort I’ve made,
Is that who I am?
Is it the gentle kisses, or these sad whimpers that have created me?

...
Will I ever be anything more than my Identity?
Slightly Lovely Feb 2019
Snow, drifting in and out of my mind.
Sun, shining through the cracks in my chest.
Rain, pouring out of my overflowed eyes.
Music soothing, writhing in my soul.
The world has shifted.
Ever so slightly.
Can you tell?
Have you noticed?
Well that's okay, cause I did.
Slightly Lovely Mar 2021
I have never ached more,
for someone to call me good.
To look at me.
to press kisses to my face,
to rub circles on my skin.
to see me as a flower or the stars.
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
Lately all I do
Is relearn how much I can miss you.
Every enjoyment orbited by bittersweet memories,
Every memory evoking a night of sobbing so hard I can't breathe,
Till I can't think.
I miss you so much.
I don't know if it'll ever stop,
because every pain just becomes replaced with a different one.
What we had was so beautiful.
can i have that again?
Slightly Lovely Apr 2021
It's been 2 years,
but when someone asked me,
"If you could go back in time would you?"
I said yes.
Because I would give anything to be with you.
I wouldn't waste a second,
I would tell you I loved you the second you asked
I would reach out to my brother,
I'd tell my family at a different time,
I would know exactly what not to do,
And maybe, just maybe,
You could've stayed.
#when you have homophobic parents who tore apart your first love and you thought you'd get over it but you haven't
Slightly Lovely Oct 2018
If you only knew, that your depression, your despondency, would only last a moment...
I beg,
Don't make a decision that is eternal, for one period of time.
For one year of bleakness.
Don't deprive yourself of a happy ending.
If you only knew how much love for you I've been given.
If you only knew how many hours I spent praying for you.
How often I sobbed.
If you only knew how much He loves you.
If you only knew of the joy awaiting you, how, the life in every fiber of your soul is so incredibly inspiring.
If you only knew...
My best friend attempted suicide in 6th and 7th grade. both of those times i added something to this poem... It's not the best, a bit outdated and prematurely written, but it was a very healthy coping method for me.
Slightly Lovely Aug 2019
I know i liked too many of your poems.
I know I'm being clingy.
Ignore me.
Pretend I didn't almost reach out.
please. i dont want to bother you.
Slightly Lovely Mar 2021
I am a half forgotten thing,
skin slowly starving,
living off the whisper of an embrace.
When was the last time lips pressed to me,
or hands caressed me?
Slightly Lovely Apr 2021
My type is unattainable women,
and arrogant men.
Sometimes it makes me wonder,
if that counts as self harm
or  maybe it's just God's cruel joke
I always seem to be the punch line...
Slightly Lovely Apr 2021
"I'll love you forever," you say,
Holding me against you,
as you twist the knife in my stomach
"I'll always protect you"
as your poisonous words
"I don't believe you"
rip my stomach to shreds.
"I'll always be there,"
a stark lie spoken the night after
you told me you wouldn't walk me down the isle
you're a ******* liar,
and I'm tired of pretending you're not
Slightly Lovely Jan 2021
I did not realize that love left you scarred.
That even if you moved on,
part of your heart is always loving them.
Slightly Lovely Nov 2019
just lie down on the smooth soil,
and rest beneath these grey clouds.
feel the rain pound your body,
and listen to its rhythmic sound.
You breathe in and out,
the sky capturing your breath,
but for once,
you do not notice,
and your veins dance with life.
you are calm, as the vines creep beneath you,
slowly pushing, tearing at flesh that was once theirs.
plants begin to burrow through your skin,
sprouting out your mouth,
your chest,
your arms.
Blooming up to the calming sky,
flowers stealing your life away,
so you can rest.
close your eyes and let the world fade away.
This is it. breath out, let it go.
Slightly Lovely Jan 2019
Sorry,
I know I’m upset,
I know that being proud and insecure at the same time makes no sense,
But do you really not like me?
Are we not able to talk, to connect?
All I wish for, is to be friends...
What is so wrong with that?
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
i know you. more than you think.
i know you probably lied to me.
about almost everything.
i did too. at times.
i know you love your family.
i know you dislike them too.
i know that you probably felt off.
i know you missed me.
but honey, i knew that before we got pulled into the sea.
and i still jumped.
i knew you were probably afraid.
but i loved every part of you.
i saw those parts of you,
and accepted them.
i still love you.
even the parts you probably hate.
i'm not stupid. but love isn't perfect
Slightly Lovely Feb 2019
When I get up in the morning,
I’ll see you.
...
All we ever do is pull apart.
But I’d love to see this through,
Cause Darling you’re more special than you know.
More bright than you’ll ever conceive,
Kinder than  soft words,
Softer than my mother’s silk pillows.

I miss you.
0~0
Slightly Lovely Aug 2019
I miss you.
I miss your laugh,
I miss the way you smell, of ocean waves and soap.
I miss the sound of my name on your lips,
Spoken like honey.
Sweetheart, why did you leave?

Can I take you back?
Give in, lift you up in surrender?
Let you breathe me in and drink my love?
I miss your arms, and your simple touches.
*******, I know I was the one to help you leave,
But I wish I had been selfish. I wish I'd told you stay.

Ironically, the only friend who'd understand I've drifted from.
I used to not miss her, but now all I want is to explain my situation to her.
I used to scoff when she said the word Love,
It was like a mantra, appearing at every friend she made.
But I think I understand.
Can I break the distance? Can we talk?
...
I don't know who I am.
Can you tell me?
You used to...
I never thought I would like girls.
Is this a phase?
Can you answer me? Do you understand?
I pray to god you read this poem.
I really just want my best friend....
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
We are divinely broken,
your gold blood hanging off my fingertips,
my breath curling down your throat.
My holy sword parrying your scythe.
A battle for the souls of humanity,
but my soul has already been tainted,
because your body awaits me when I drift into a world of dreams,
dear love of mine,
this mosaic we have painted,
cannot stay without shattering.
Slightly Lovely Nov 2021
No one will hold me,
and I'm shaking and sobbing,
as I drive the whole way home,
on the wrong side of the road.
No one will love me the way that you did,
And in fact,
I don't know if I'll ever be so loved,
But you left me
To cry in the dark,
And I'm starting to think,
That maybe I deserved it.
Slightly Lovely Nov 2021
No one will hold me,
and I'm shaking and sobbing,
as I drive the whole way home,
on the wrong side of the road.
No one will love me the way that you did,
And in fact,
I don't know if I'll ever be so loved,
But you left me
To cry in the dark,
And I'm starting to think,
That maybe I deserved it.
Slightly Lovely Oct 2018
I’m from Late night movies, goodnight phone calls, and reading till morning.

I’m from dragonfly walls, lost sleepovers, and 3am hot-tubbing.

I’m from spadolini sauce, moonpies, peach rings, and truffle popcorn.

I’m from my struggles that made me strong, my joy that propelled me through life, and my friends who taught me the beauty of the broken hearted.

I’m from the lyrics of Oh wonder, Lily Ire, and Elizaveta.

I’m from the movement of air past my face, the spinning of limbs through silk, and the taut of my muscles before I fly.

I’m from my mom with her comforting touch, and my Dad with his sweet humor.

I’m From Driving through tunnels of green - darkness all around -hand out the window, music blasting-  And My brother sitting next to me, singing like an angel...
This is a project for school, but i learned a lot about myself in the process. Pls enjoy
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
roses are red,
violets are blue,
these monsters,
are just memories of me and you.
Slightly Lovely Dec 2019
If I could create a swirling haze,
I think I’d keep you right here.
In a hidden dream, (will it ever really be clear?)
….
……
And yet,
I still go looking for you in the space between,
Watching sunlight pour through leaves.

Can we ever go back,
to when you sang me to sleep?
Can I reach through,
to a time of hidden memories?

If you’d stay here, I’d put your head on my lap,
And stay with you through it all.
I’d give you the breath in my lungs,
And watch you shatter my heart,
If only to see you again.
this is a peice of garrrrrbbbaaagggeeeee
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
Letting you go was one of the hardest things I've had to do...
Its like all that is left are faded memories.
And all I think about,
Is how much I miss you.

I know how you adore the sun,
but I can't live without the wind and rain.
And I try to stay bright eyed,
But then I become addicted to others pain...
And you my Darling.....
You're my *******.
Slightly Lovely Apr 2020
The pain isn’t poetic,
Which is why,
All my poetry
Has turned into sad statements
Instead of swirling art
Slightly Lovely Mar 2020
like a little kid,
the sensations overwhelm me,
frustration and love and hurt and longing.
tears build up in the corners of my eyes,
as pleasure overwhelms me.
but you're not here
so i cry in my pain all night
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
Naivety is a fickle thing,
A flame that comes and goes.
I find it in the small things,
but it slowly slips past my fingers,
when i try to keep it close
Slightly Lovely Nov 2020
There is something alluring to the way she hurts,
Familiarity to her pain,
Beauty to her ache.
Darling, you're poetic,
even while you break.
(your heartache looks just like mine,
but i am not half as beautiful)
Slightly Lovely Sep 2019
Sometimes I have to take a deep breath,
and remind myself that i'm not breaking,
only growing
Slightly Lovely Nov 2018
Closer and Closer
I watch as my hand touched yours,
You didn’t flinch,
But i know you’ll only like me in a platonic way.
I wish we weren't pulled apart,
I wish i didn’t argue and hiss,
I wish we weren't rivals from the start.
You’re eyes are violent and deep, a storm trapped inside a person.
The pieces of you I tease, are my way of hiding what I love.
Your hair, your anger…
It’s easier to simply forget, to not remember you’re human too.
To hide that time we bonded, that time you held me, the smile you so rarely flash…
Okay I'm not even going to hide it. This is total klance. I'm kinda having a hard ship. Like, ITS INTENSE MAN.
Slightly Lovely Feb 2020
This dark is swirling,
stuck inside this house,
crawling and itching and building in my head,
the silence so loud, the shadows so quiet.
i wander, pulling a blanket over my shoulders,  
opening the back door and stepping out under constellations.
The wind is cold and cars move in the distance,
small lights heading to their little homes.
  the street is illuminated below our balcony,
barley aglow in the new fog.
I lean into the rustling wind, resting my arms on the cold railing.
I hear a whisper in the back of my mind,
quiet and comforting, the way God always speaks to me.
This invitation to talk to the heavens, to the quiet world.
And it's all I can do,
to talk about you.
I look up at the moon and tell it about how you laugh.
tears slip past my cheeks as i tell the angels how sweet you are,
and how you hide it.
I tell God how strong you are, as if he doesn't know.
And I'm comforted,
because we talk to the same god, under the same sky.
And maybe one day, it'll be okay again.
so I go inside and walk up to my room.
I close my eyes, under my covers, and dream of you.
this is a long one
Slightly Lovely May 2019
I've learned that doubt is part of the journey,
as integral and important as faith.
I've learned  that it can be easier to leave people to their own conclusions,
rather than try to explain a convoluted truth.
I've learned that love is not to be protected, but risked,
and that loving someone is an inherently dangerous act.
You taught me the difference between losing something you knew you had, and losing something you didn't.
And how you can only feel something by its absence,
by the empty spaces left.
And I know that soon, I'll get that feeling.
The one after you finish a book or turn off a movie.
Where I feel thrown back into a reality I don't want, one I don't belong to.
And my chest will become cavernous.
I'm losing friends
Slightly Lovely Dec 2019
I don't want to heal,
if it means losing the last thing I have left of you.
I will keep these memories,
and forever feel this pain.
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